The St. Petersburg Diaries of Anna McNeill Whistler

Part II: 1845–1848

St Petersburg. March 1845 Ash Wednesday – Old Style – 1

    Something occasionally has whispered me since hearing of the comfort my dear Mother takes in reading my last years journal that I ought for her sake to note down whatever interests me during my absence, to transmit to her, & altho my life yeilds little variety & therefore self & my own thoughts must oftenest be the theme I shall not fear her criticism will be harsh or that one so indulgent, will turn away from my egotism. Perhaps I may revert to a few striking events during the past Winter on another page, but today shall begin my remarking upon the delightful length of day light, which induces me to rise early & to leave my room in good time to see that my darling boys are at their scripture lessons & hymns, to attend somewhat to the preparations for breakfast, to order up the “Sumavaa”2 & to ring the prayer bell for my family devotions before eight oclock when we seat ourselves at table, after the blessing Jemmie gives us a verse from the psalms, Willie another & I who wish to encourage them in the practise am ready with my response, thanks to our dear friends the Nichols3 for the sweet example! One to look out upon the bright sun shine these days & very clear sky might be tempted to hope a balmy spring temparature, but Winter still has his severe grasp firm as it has been these three months, the Thermometer still testifies to 22 deg Ro-4 & really returning from Church this noon as we met the sharp wind I feared little Willies cheeks would be frost bitten. We find our rooms fronting the Neva penetrated by it thro the double sashes & I am at this moment wrapped in my grey Duffle Cloak5 with feet upon a heated stool, with the desk dear Mr Winstanley presented me drawn to the warmest corner of my room- close by the Peach, which communicates heat to the drawing room. I try to think more of my comforts than of the extreme cold, but Oh how thankful I shall be when the weather moderates so that Jemmies long imprisonment may end & Willie can have double enjoyment in having this dear brother with him on the skating ground, or at the ice hills. Whistler would go to Alexandrofsky after our two oclock dinner, tho it is so terrible to meet the icy breeze, wrapped in a Shube with a seal skin cap & fur boots he looks defiance, & business admits of no holidays to him but the blessed Sabbath, when he shuts his Chancelery to all & we feel more than ever did before that it is our Heavenly Fathers next best provision to us poor mortals to the Bible. Last week was the beginning of festivities in the Square called Marcelaneetza, or butter week –6 it is a sort of reconciliation to the severe fast upon which the poor Russians have entered this, now of course all trace of amusement has disappeared until Easter, the food of the poorer classes will now be brown bread & oil or salt for six weeks, ah how lamentable that those who ought to be their spiritual guides should not understand our Saviours words “not to appear unto men to fast.”7 This morning we read the [58th] Chap of Isaiah8 instead of continuing our course of the Acts of the Apostles9 & afterwards as I listened to the gospel appointed for Ash Wednesday,10 it struck me how exactly they accorded, in the first we are told to deal out bread to the hungry, & in the other not to lay up treasures upon earth, evidently shewing that self denial & a readiness to contribute of our abundance is the acceptable fast in the sight of Him who knows our besetting sin to be selfishness. Yet far be it from me to condemn restraint upon personal indulgence of our appetites at this especial season which the fathers of our church have recommended by their example, but individual conviction must make it beneficial, & it should be improved for self examination & the study of Gods word to advance us in our course heavenward, where the worst of us hope to arrive after the trials of this life are over, therefore I would that all who belonged to me would make this distinction between Lent & other seasons, that they would withdraw more from the world, to prevent any dissipation of thought or time, which properly observed year by year would be a source of thankfulness throughout all Eternity. These anniversaries always carry my reflections to the rest prepared for the people of God. My little darling neice Looly11 has been much in my thoughts today, if memory serves me right it is five years today since her Saviour took her back to His own bosom, & propably now her dear mothers thoughts mingle with mine – How consoling that hearts can sympathise tho Russia & America are in opposite hemispheres! Last week how favored I was by letters from Maria & Kate, but above all my own gentle Mothers was full of love, I considered these as New Years presents from home, the most acceptable I could have received! What a contrast their open winter is to ours here, Kate gathered violets in her parterre on the lƪof Jan! she gratifies me by remarking that her little fair haired Georgy12 reminds every body continually of my heaven born baby Charlie! ah how thankful I am when any of those who loved that gentle one, write me of him, for he is not dead to me! he is always upon his bereaved mothers pillow & his fond tones mingled with Kirkies & all “who have gone before” sound in memory when all other voices are hushed in sleep. – But here comes my good boy Jemmie with his history in hand to read to me as he does every afternoon= previous to coursing his German with Mademoiselle13 before tea= we were fearful the boys should lose their own language, in other tongues, & thus I gain a half hours enjoyment from hearing each of them read daily. May God answer my prayers for their happiness

Tuesday March 25ƫ14 Every week I feel how swiftly time flies yet can scarcely realize that it will be a fortnight tomorrow since I began what was intended as a journal But there is so little variety in my domestic life that nothing has offered worthy of record. I sent off letters to my dear mother & Kate by the last Courier, & began to write Mrs Lee15 of Springfield in anticipation of the next opp for Liverpool. On Wednesday Whistler left us early in the morning & took a charming sledge ride to Cronstadt with Mr Ropes a distance of 29 versts on the Neva, they described it as something like old times in America, with their bells &c wishing we had been with them, the road was so smooth & the weather so bright, with no wind they were sure we should have enjoyed it, but as they had gone purposely to dine with Capt Kruger16 of course we had not thought of it, he is an uncommonly interesting sailor to me, for his manners are softened by his deep religious feelings, & Whistler as much as myself is glad to welcome this Englishman to our parlor circle when he can spend an evening in town. he treated them to “Sea pie” an excellent dish, from their description must be like a hodge podge from its variety of meat, vegetables & pasty stewed in a pot. Debo to beguile the tedium of her fathers absence had invited the Misses Wilkes17 to tea, & Mrs Ropes being deserted came in to join our ladies party, but it damped all our spirits that Aunt Alicia was taken ill & obliged to keep her bed, she suffered several days from a cold she had taken, I was not aware how unwell she felt when I went the same day with our dear boys in Col Todds chariot & four to the ice hills, they have been thronged lately as it not probable the season can last cold enough for them much longer. The Rizzleys18 were there, as it was my first rencontre I was rather astonished at MƢR seizing me by the hand as an old friend, but probably he was thus eager to meet me only as a countrywoman, his little boys of five & seven years old were steering themselves alone as if accustomed to the steep hills all their days. of course my James felt impatient to try his skill, but as there was a shower of snow while we remained I feared their taking additional colds, & they always find gentlemen glad to afford them protection & a kneeling place behind their sledges. I was very much mortified at witnessing the capsize of our Ambassador while he condescended to go down hill with one of the young Englishmen, it is an amusement only suited to Col Todds grand children! but he is not easily discouraged by failures in foreign languages or customs & since then has had several tumbles, for the ice hills are the rage & he has his own little sledge there & is learning to pilot himself. Last thursday evening instead of Debo going to the German Singing Society19 she was taken ill as my sister had been, with chill, fever & nausea, an epidemic it seems, I dont think she has suffered as much in many years, she is not yet able to leave her room, tho this afternoon she is enjoying Mrs Ropes cheerful chat. what a dear kind neighbour this little lady is to us, when she came in with her work just now I thought “she finds time for every thing” for tho kept awake last night three hours by her Loulou20 who is teething, I found her gay as a lark & busy as a bee when I went to enquire after baby this morning, then she went to drive all the way to Mrs Woods21 thro sleet & wind (for that friend is ill) after which I heard her practising singing (my room is between her drawing room & ours & I can hear all her high notes her voice is so powerful) soon her good little husband will be returning from Change & then she will go in to cheer him at dinner & devote her evening to him, for when not engaged in his Counting house they are inseparable, she really is a pattern of a Christian, wife & young mother & I have never known her fine temper ruffled. Last Sunday according to a previous notice Dr Law preached a most admirable charity sermon for the poor funds of the British Factory, bringing before us our debt to them individually, that thro their supporting the Chapel we were all enjoying the blessed privilige of hearing the word of God in our native tongue in a strange land, & proving to us how many were the demands upon the munificence from British emigrants & poor,22 my good husband said if his purse had been full he should have willingly emptied it in so right a cause. little Willie tho not at all well had gone to church purposely to give his mite, one of the large vases at the door was opened for the offerings of the congregation & as the attendance was very general I hope a handsome sum was collected. But my wish is soon to take to Mrs Law a contribution for the private charities of herself & our pastor, the world knows not how many apply to them of the humblest, poorest class of British poor, they have lately taken rooms over on Vasili Ostrow to give an Asylum to some houseless, aged wanderers23 & the Sacrament offerings aid in supporting them, but of course it is not sufficient. Mrs Law made great efforts to establish a Hospital to which was to have been attached a poors school, she held a Bazaar at the Parsonage in the Christmas holidays for it, but the factory opposed it24 & as they called Dr Law twenty four years ago, he is still their servant. but he prays that God in his own good time will enlarge their views, that he may be allowed to do more for the cause of Christ in this land. Whistler described to me what a pretty neat Chapel & parsonage is the English one at Cronstadt,25 (Mr Williams is still preaching there)26 ah how much I wish I could worship once in that sanctuary where the body of my baby Charlie was placed until it was sent to its narrow bed across the Atlantic! But now I must summon my James to read, it is nearly six oclock & I would not in sad sweet reveries of the dead, neglect my duty as a mother to the dear boys God still spares to us. As we were walking from Church on Sunday, our Ambassador overtook Whistler & I, he seemed very eager to report to us what had occupied him all the day previous, three hours he had been among the Diplomatic Corps at the Kazan Church attending the funeral of the Countess Straughaunoff,27 the patroness of every benevolent & charitable institution she had been & she was universally beloved, as her death is now lamented. Then the Col told us of the English Club28 dinner he had attended where he made a speech in Russ. comparing queen Victoria to the Queen of Sheba, but reversing the rule, by alluding to the Emperor Nicholas’ visit (as king Solomon) to her court.29 the col was quite satisfied as his fancies amused the Russians as much as English present.

Tuesday. April 1ƪ30 Having just despatched my letters by the English Courier for the Boston Steamer (to Mother Maria & MƦ Lee I will record the delight I experienced last evening when my young countryman George Prince came in with his hands full of American letters31 for us. We had expected them all last week, but as they were directed via Hamburg they were so delayed, that harbour being closed by ice. Whistler had stepped out I sent the Dvanic to Col Todds32 but he was not there. so I could wait no longer & had read our dear Georges letter to him, & was reading Marias ere my husband came to enjoy the same glad surprise. George wrote us from Brooklyn ere we supposed he had embarked from China! & reported himself in perfect health & now our hopes are excited that he will make a Summer voyage to see us.33 But how seldom in this world of trial can joy be unalloyed – if we feel for others woes as our blessed Saviours example should teach us to do – the second page of Marias letter was filled with the sad particulars of the sudden death of Debos school mate Charlotte Canda.34 what a warning to us all but to the young especially! that “in the midst of life we are in death”35 Whistler wept as he listened to the mournful but too true statement, for he remembered her as a child of most bright promise & knew she was the idol as the only child of her Parents. She had attained her 17ƫbirth day on the 3ƨof last Feb & having been invited to celebrate it at a friends house her father attended her thither to pass the evening taking a friend of hers in the Cab with them, at about eleven clock they bade adieu, after having probably had the usual resources of music & dancing for Charlotte was a fine performer, the driver was ordered to stop at the door of Miss L. B……36 MƢCanda handed her up the steps, which while he was doing a gentleman in another carriage called out in joke “you had better mind your own fair daughter, she is worth all others put together” then drove on- When poor Mr C flew back to his charge the Cab was no where to be seen, he thought as the night was so cold they had driven home, thither he ran, but no tidings from his servant at his own door of his daughters return, drove him half distracted to the stable calling aloud her name as he went- there he found the Cab empty! by the time he had regained his house again he met a summons to proceed with his distracted wife to a hotel where he understood Charlotte was ill! in truth she had been thrown out of the Cab by the horses taking fright while the driver had left his box to endeavour to warm his hands & had been picked up by two gentlemen, her skull fractured by striking against the stone pavement, they carried the senseless sufferer into the hotel where she was recognized & her parents sent for only in time to hear her last sigh! thus in a short half hour from her fathers leaving her, (- that brief moment -) he found only the senseless body of his Charlotte, who had been the delight of his eyes, the pride of his heart. It will be long ere that bereaved mothers shreik of anguish will be forgotten by those who heard it as she exclaimed “Wherein have I failed in my duty as a mother that God has taken my child from me?” Ah it is a fearful thing to idolize what death must touch! to appropriate (what is only lent us to train for Heaven) to our own purposes. God had endowed this only daughter with much that might win hearts, & if her Parents led her affections to her Saviour we must trust He has taken her to lead theirs to Himself. God does not willingly afflict, we poor blind mortals cannot see His purposes of Mercy thro the clouds & darkness which surround His throne,37 but if we kiss the rod He will give us also the staff to support us. However sure seem earthly promises to us, they are deceitful, this world is not our home & we must enter Heaven thro much tribulation! God called that beautiful young flower (we trust to bloom in Paradise) early because He knew it best. Her parents position among the rich in a gay city, had placed her in the unsafe path leading to Fashion & Folly and severe as they feel the wrench to them, she was taken from temptations & trials which might have entailed everlasting woe. Debo remarks what a dutiful, affectionate daughter Charlotte was! her parents had toiled in their school, to make her rich & accomplished - all their plans for this life were for Charlottes elevation. Where is she now? Oh may all parents profit by the lesson! Debo has lost in these two past winters two intimate associates younger than herself Fanny Peabody38 & now C. C. Oh may the still small voice continually remind her of the frail tenure of all earthly friendship, that she may strive to make Jesus the bond of union between herself & all she loves, may she exert her influence with her companions & with her brothers to lead them to Jesus. Many warnings have been sent us all within this last twelve month, those in the most elevated rank have not been exempt. Where are the two young brides of the Imperial family who previous to the Last Lent caused such festivities in St Petersburg?39 the fair forms of each mouldering in the dust. And it was at the funeral of the Gt Admiral Gregg40 the tidings of the death of the Grand Duke Michels daughter overtook him,41 that very day was the anniversary of the Grand Duchess Helens42 masquerade in honor of her nuptials! the news came that the young Duchess of Nassau had died on the anniversary of marriage, she had only been a few days ill. The Imperial family have appeared sincere mourners for the Emperors youngest daughter the favorite Alexandrine, until last evening I have not heard of their having been at any place of amusement, then as the annual charity concert was given for the sufferers in the Russian Army43 it was indispensible. Debo wished much to attend it, but not a ticket was to be obtained. No doubt all her delight would have been changed into sorrow - if she had listened to the hundreds of instrumental & vocal performers - the tidings of Charlottes death must long ring a knell thro all our memories. And our sympathies were also asked for Mary Bedford upon the death of her fond mother.44 how Mary clung to her! & now she is an orphan at 18 years of age! but we hear she is resigned to the will of God, she sorrows not as those without hope. This evening I have promised to go to the German Acadamy45 for sacred music with Whistler & our Debo, she being one of the class, it is time for me to hear Willie & James read now, dear little fellows how glad them seem at the prospect of their brother George coming to Russia!

Thursday l0ƫApril.46 The weather has continued very wintry the past week, snow almost every 24 hours & 15 deg of cold except where the suns power was felt. Whistler & Debo went to Alexandrofski Sunday p-m47 to their little congregation of Americans & heard an excellent sermon from Mr Ellerby, but they had a snow storm to drive thro returning. And since then Debo & I have wished in vain favorable weather for making calls - until yesterday when her Russian master48 came & prevented her - I then took Jemmie to Dr Thompsons49 to have two teeth filled it was not a very tedious operation & now I am thankful my dear boys mouth is in good condition. I found Mrs Harrison with my Sister on regaining our own home, the sun had not dissappeared when tea was ordered, we had quite a long table full, besides having to send it in the Chancelery to Whistler & some officers, scarcely had I finished, when our footman summoned me to the drawing room to receive Mrs De Glinkey,50 she had brought her little girl according to her promise to come some day sociably, & I did not order a repetition of our repast immediately as the twilight was so pleasant for the childrens pastime & I knew she must have lately left the dining table. I am always delighted to have a chat with this lady who is so fond of my own dear native land - and she is so domestic in her feelings & so devoted to her children, it greived me to hear that her eldest boy had been ill & therefore she had not brought him - as her husband is a Russian of course, her children must belong to the Greek Church, & the unwholesome fast of Lent had quite disordered him, no milk, eggs, butter, or meat allowed, no wonder the mixture of oil in porridge, or the pickled fish had proved unsuitable for a hearty boy of five years old!51 & then the fatigue of two hours standing thro prayers not intelligible at church (for seats are not admitted into the Greek church where all who do not kneel, stand. Mrs D. G herself a Lutheran dissapproves of ceremonies which cannot be explained to children & yet is obliged to submit hers to this severe regimen. she told us of her little girl - not quite as old as my Willie - taking the Sacrament of the Lord supper! When tea was handed the little creature asked so conscienciously if there was butter in the cake which we offered her! fortunately there was dried rusk52 without, I involuntarily expressed to the mother my opinion of the error of these seasons of public fasting, & she was even plainer in her judgement against them, we agreed that excesses were never becoming the followers of the self denying Saviour, but that the system practised here, of abstaining for a certain time & then rushing into the extreme of indulgence was not upheld in the bible. when I alluded to the acceptable fast spoken of in the 58 chap of Isaiah,53 she eagerly asked to see it, that she might enforce it in her mother=in=laws54 family. Far be it from me to argue against fasting, where a feeling of humiliation in the sight of God prompts the self convicted sinner to afflict his soul so that the indulgence of the animal part of his nature becomes (as in the afflictions wherewith we are visited for our correction by the will of our heavenly father) distasteful to him. Our blessed Saviour tells us not to exhibit our fasting, we are not to appear to men to fast, but in secret let it be to Him who reads the heart & tests its sincerity. I think Lent is wisely set apart by our church as a season for self denial in resisting the demands of the world upon our precious time & thus giving us leisure in retirement for contemplating the wonderful love of our blessed Saviour, who as at this time spent whole nights in prayer for those “who know not what they do”55 & who suffered for the sins of the whole world, if we are willing to prepare for the commemoration of Earthly conquests, surely we should not excuse ourselves from yearly devoting this season peculiarly to contemplating all that He has done to conquer death for us, whom He has purchased with His own blood, & for whose immortal souls He still intercedes. He waits to be gracious to us! Good Lord make us willing, as Tho art able & draw us by the influences of the Holy Spirit! for we are our own enemies & cannot approach Thee as we ought! Oh that all who are bound to me as a family on earth could feel that they are but travellers bound for the heavenly Jerusalem, where some of our loved ones have been early taken to await our arrival! then the service of Christ would be chosen in preference to the vanities of the world. We delight to speak of that which engages our hearts, how strange then that the Saviour & His interests are so seldom subjects of conversation! We are glad to serve those we love! And there is much that we might do if we really had that supreme love for Christ which we all flatter ourselves we shall not be found deficient in, when called to testify by our works what place we shall occupy thro Eternity. We are not to bury our Talents56 in the Earth. How little the young think of their accountability when all that they seek to accomplish is to charm away the present hour! & they persuade themselves that their suavity of manner is proof sufficient of inward joy from secret communings with God. & that it is enough to praise Him with the heart without the lips joining in it. But Oh is it thus in our home in Heaven? Angels & glorified spirits continually sing Glory to Him who has redeemed mankind, & as this world is only a school for that is it not rational to argue we should practise here what we hope to be perfected in here after. I delight in sacred music which lifts the heart to mingle in heavenly choirs. Ah if I were Empress of these vast dominions of Russia I should cultivate a taste for sacred music in the circles of fashion by prohibiting any other during the Lent Concerts at least, then Composers would turn their gifts into this channel & the excuse would not be made, that no peices were to be found worthy the exalted subject As I am denied this enjoyment, I try to wait patiently till the holy spirit tunes the heart, when the harp will accord – k nowing I deserve nothing - & finding refreshment in reading those works which lead my mind to heavenly joys. MƤ Wilsons57 letters in her memoirs awaken such feelings as I suppose fine musical compositions do to those who make music the feast of their fancy. When I examine myself after every day & grieve over the many evidences I have shown of a worldly strife. Oh what doubts attend me of my love to the Saviour, who sought not His own, but others good. Oh that the Holy Spirit would endow me with long suffering & great kindness! And when I contrast my idleness in the vineyard of Christ, to the labours of MƤ Wilson in India I fear that the light that is in me is darkness in the sight of Him, for whom I yearn to devote my all. I feel as she does with relation to children that “they are precious gifts from the inexhaustible fountain of our Heavenly Fathers love & kindness to us” and that “we can only use the gift aright when we present it a willing sacrifice on His altar” her only prayer for her little ones was that they might be inspired with zeal & love to become missionaries to the heathen! as she was herself – for herself with regard to them- she prayed always that she might realize her responsibility in having a little immortal to train for heaven! Few as are my proofs of love to my Saviour I trust I do not deceive myself in sincerely desiring only spiritual gifts for my dear children, I commit their prosperity while on Earth to His providence, knowing that if they serve Him, they shall want for nothing. I am too eager now to see fruits of that love, Oh God give me faith to cast all my care upon Thee! my besetting sin is impatience Oh make me perfect thro suffering! & answer my poor prayers in thine own good time that all mine may be thine! By thy power I have been enabled to rejoice that Thou has early taken some of my little ones from me to dwell with Thee forever! Yet Thou knowest my heart does not separate them from those still left to cheer me, upon my pillow they are all embraced & tho busy memory will sometimes harrow my tenderest sympathies with vivid views of past bodily sufferings, my tears are not bitter while I again fancy I hear Kirkie say “how sick I am,” or my babys gentle voice as in the last hour he spoke to his fond Mother, “Charlie’s most done,” no more medi - sank you dear Mama” for all that is passed I am assured was in mercy. They are not lost to me! & Oh better still they are secured from suffering, their redeemed souls are where I prayed they might be: And in feeling thus & thinking of the many awaiting us at home, can it be wondered that I should yearn to see those still exposed to temptations in this world, cultivate tastes for higher enjoyments than charm the thoughtless votaries of a false system of recreations! This morning I have not walked as lately with my dear kind husband because he was too hurried with writing to go with me directly after breakfast & hence after my bible reading I feel into a train of reflection & have penned some of my thoughts which only my children can ever appreciate. A week has passed exactly since the last date on the other page for this [is] Thursday 5th/17ƫ58 of April, nothing remarkable has occured, except the thaw accompanied by delightful bright weather. Our children have left the breakfast parlor before eight oclock lately each morning to trundle their new hoops on the Quai with their Sister & Governess,59 & have brought home bright red cheeks & buoyant spirits to enter the school room with & to gladden my eyes. Jemmie began his course of drawing lessons at the Acadamy of fine Arts60= just on the opposite side of the Neva - the building exactly fronts my bedroom window= last monday, he is entered at the 2Ơroom61 there are two higher & he fears he shall not reach them, because the Officer62 who still is to continue his private lesson at our house every Saturday is a pupil himself in the highest & Jemmie looks up to him with all the reverence an Artist merits & his master besides! he seems greatly to enjoy going to a class & stands next a youth of 16 (Caslett)63 who being English notices my boy kindly. I congratulate myself for his sake that amusement & health are thus united with improvement in his leisure hours. he could not cross upon the ice on the Neva yesterday, as the barricade has already been placed to prevent sledges64 so he had a longer drive by the bridge, & felt very important when he told me he had to give the Ishvostic 15 copecks silver65 instead of ten! As he conns his tasks now directly after dinner (for the mornings recitations) he was ready to pursue a beautiful tale he has lately been reading to me until tea time, but he would have put “Ewen Malcolm”66 out of sight when Capt Kruger67 called, if that frank sailor had not begged to hear how Americans read, Jemmie did not dishonor his country by any awkwardness, & gave our English friend a paragraph on Swiss scenery. My boys as well as their parents like to talk to this cheerful, excellent son of Neptune, he appears to me a sincere christian & is always heartily welcome when he comes from Cronstadt, but as he was going to the Lecture (upon his favorite poet Milton)68 delivered by one of his countrymen at the Vestry room of the English church, he declined staying to tea. he & Jemmie had a good natured argument about the prospect of a war between our two countries & each came to the decision that the Oregon Territory69 had best be left to the possessions of the Indians, that70 that hostilities should be resorted to between people who ought to conciliate each other, as the only two nations upon earth of the same language, the same religion & habits. At the Merchants Exchange where the English part of the SƱPetersburgh fraternity meet daily - War between America & England is now the exciting theme, but I trust it will prove like many of their other speculations! which it is to their interest to indulge in merely as an incentive to trade. Much as I yearn to be recalled to my native land I pray it may not be the trump of War, which will make it my husbands stern duty to take up arms against a country I so much love as England. We wrote by tuesdays Courier.71 I to Eliza72 & a note to poor Mrs Canda. Debo to Jule & that lady. Old Mrs Leon came that day to dine with us. she was cheerful & grateful as ever, Whistler was most attentive, handed her in & placed her at his right hand, she was the life of our circle & told us her 81ƪAnniversary of her birth day would be next Sunday!73 In the afternoon Debos fond father could not resist her invitation to promenade with her in the Nevski, as for a rarity he was not hurried by business from her side, she came back with a border of mud upon her silk dress! indeed he said he had had to ferry her across the Isaacs square74 in a Sledge & wade over on foot himself! old Mrs Leon laughed & threatened Debo that she should report what a termigant of a daughter we have, to compel her father to parade her thro the fashionables at such cost! The old lady was obliged to bid us good evening at 9 1/2 lest she should be locked out. I smugged75 a bottle of fresh cream under her cloak, as she is obliged to deny herself the purchase of such luxuries. I always think most of my own mother when I can shew kindness to one who is like her, cheerful, useful & so neat & erect. Mr Strokoffski76 came & also Capt Klockoff77 to spend the evening sans ceremonie. I hoped, agreable as they are, that when Mr Maxwells friend made his congé78 at eleven, Whistlers aid would also take his leave but he chose to seat himself again. I soon stole off tho it is rather awkward doing so for my room is adjoining our Salon de compagnie, but I had the fidgets & I cannot reconcile it to my conscience to jumping into a prayerless bed - from which many never rise - it was a quarter past twelve before my head touched the pillow, & yesterday I was up at quarter to six, for between the day light at four peeping in & Debos bird on our window greeting it, and my desire to have breakfast in good time for my children to gambol in the fresh air before school time, I cannot indulge in the sluggishness, which in Russia I have yeilded too much to, the warm rooms create it, & since coming here I have had no darling little Charlie to awaken me.

Saturday afternoon l9ƫApril.79 Tomorrow will be Palm Sunday russian style.80 these last three days the Gostinandvo has been filled with toys to tempt the lower classes & children, tomorrow it will still be thronged by those who do not recognise the Sabbath as “rest.” Aunt Alicia not having seen the spectacle went with my boys & Mademoiselle today. Willie appeared to think me exercising self denial & tried to persuade me to be of the party, he & James came back laden with gew gaws to the value of a silver ruble apeice - and pleased their mother that they had sought something for each of our good servants, my dear Jemmie has not been quite well lately; one or the other of my boys seem ever affected by the Neva water, God grant them health! it is indeed a grief to me to observe dear Debo too so feeble this spring. But I am thus constantly reminded that this is a world of care. As next week is one set apart for devotion in the Greek church the Concerts even are put a stop to & all the Italians go elsewhere to make new engagements I suppose.81 I am relieved that the season is over, as my daughter will no longer be tempted into crowded rooms, to keep late hours, she has not been able to resist musical attractions, & yet is too little restored since her last illness to rise till we have finished breakfast, besides the privation it is to me that she is not among us when we meet at family worship, I know the excitement is injurious to health. The Empress had signified her wish that a Concert should be held in the “Salle de Noblesse”82 at four rubles argent a ticket the profits for Orphans under her patronage,83 & of course for so good an object & to see the Imperial family in that most magnificent room in all Europe, we would not refuse, even Martha Ropes who has scarcely left her room this year has been bracing her strength for the exertion. I have always supposed it might be, expected of me that I should be able to say I had seen the Imperial family & the Hall of the Noblesse & this had caused me to reserve this charitable public amusement when I excluded myself from all others, so altho I would rather have staid quietly at home with Aunt Alicia & my boys, I suddenly yeilded to Whistlers wish that I should go with Debo & himself, something whispered me “you know not what changes may occur to prevent another season”84 & I went rather to have it over than with any anticipation of selfish gratification. The crowd was not so great as was expected, but the heat excessive, & altho the Empress & the Grand Duchess Olgar were in the canopied & gilded box surrounded by ladies of the Court, I should judge from the lack of elegance in the costume of the crowd it was not the most fashionable this gay metropolis boasts of. I must confess that across this immense room I could not discern the features of the Empress & her beautiful daughter to my satisfaction, altho the general effect of their appearance was quite regal. the former entirely in white wore feathers & diamonds, the latter dressed in pale blue wore flowers in her fair hair (for at the birth of the 2nd infant son of the Héritier about six weeks since a Ukâse had been issued requiring the general mourning for the two young Grand Duche’ss to be discontinued)85 I did not wonder they only lingered long enough to evince their interest in the charity which they had begged the public thus to contribute to, for the music was too loud to be endurable to one of weak nerves & the heat made the place like a Purgatory, the poor Empress has not been in the world since her beloved Alexandra left it, & I trust her heart will never return to its follies. For myself the delight I felt was that such places no longer could interest me & nothing could again tempt me into them, for tho Garcia, Rubini & Tambourini86 sung solos or trios it was not to my taste, my imagination guided by my husbands description of the splendour of the Salle de Noblesse had far exceeded what I really found it to be, he was tired as I was Debo looked fatigued & very amiably offered to leave before it was over, but we depended on M Ropes Russ for calling our Coach & they like to see the last as well as the first of every thing. We all wondered Martha who has lately been so subject to swooning should have had strength to get thro the crowd, & then we were all exposed to catching cold waiting out in the Street till our Hackney87 could come up after all the Court equipages. the carriages having all been formed into line by the Gen d’armes who surrounded the place to keep order. How much trouble is taken to procure good out of evil! thought I! it is a question if every one had contributed their four rubles silver without the amusement whether the clear profits had not been greater! but men are children of a larger growth,88 & few willing I fear to give of their abundance without some earthly equivalent, A reward is promised in Heaven! But I condemn not those whose opinions differ from mine. I only regret that they barter a certainty for an uncertainty. Music at home with a few dear friends to enjoy it with us, is a source of unfailing delight, & I shall wish never to out of it to seek it, unless to Church. It is a happiness to have ones mind made up as to what constitues enjoyment, experience has decided me, there can be none in scenes which distract our thoughts & prevent us mingling heavenly prospects with them. I have not attempted to describe the Salle de Noblesse for it would be folly in me to attempt it, the pure white pillars not of marble but a kind of composition are many & divide the wide promenade for spectators or loungers, from the centre appropriated to dancers, which of course was filled with seats at the concert, the throne or Imperial box is gilded & in the most conspicuous situation about half way from where the musicians are placed & the entrance, ever greens are always used as decorations upon its steps, eight immense chandeliers of crystal are reflecting the most brilliant light over the company & many smaller ones at the sides & thro the corridors make every corner bright almost as sunshine. Oh how glad I was to get home at eleven o clock, I was too tired even to partake of the refreshments Aunt Alicias thoughtful attention had provided, I left Debo & her father to divide the jelly & dry rusk & thus gained time at the eleventh hour to collect my thoughts for reading & commending all I loved to the mercies of our Heavenly Father. It was past midnight when my weary limbs were at rest.

Tuesday [April] 22Ơ89 Such a change in the temperature since last week! quite a snow storm sunday afternoon, yesterday scarcely any thawing even at noon. we went to prayers however, but were not tempted to walk further than to church & back. Martha Ropes spent the rest of the day with Debo, quite frolicsome, the noisy concert has made her quite rife for amusement I fear, in the evening her brother Joseph joined us at tea. I took french leave90 of the circle while I read to my boys &=then one of McNeills excellent lectures which he wrote especially for Passion Week upon the Sympathies & sufferings of our Saviour,91 to my Sister, for I knew the young trio at the Draft table would not require me; & I have determined not to let trifles prevent our reading this week what is so appropriate. We were just at the close of the lecture upon the treachery of Judas Iscariot when Debo came to say good night, as Martha has to keep early hours, on my return to the parlor Mr Joseph & Whistler were so deep in public affairs I found they could dispense with me & gladly retired to my own snug apartment for the night. The Neva presented a strange scene this morning, hundreds of men forming a line thro its centre cutting a passage, to break the force of the ice when nature unlocks its fetters, to save both bridges from injury. Certainly the Russians are most remarkable for precautions, to save life or property. In our country it would be a serious expense to cut up a river as they are doing the Neva. but here the Emperor must be well satisfied that it gives employment to so many of his poorest subjects. We went again to prayers at Church, every seat appropriated to the ladies was occupied. some ventured to the gentlemans side, I thank God that I felt His presence today in the midst of us! & not fatigued altho the service was long. We read the Psalms for the 9ƫday - & how beautiful are those Epistles taken from Isaiah92 for both yesterday & today! Martha R dined with Debo, who took a drive after, with her, but complained of the bleak wind & rough Streets.

Friday 2ƠMay93 We had a kind note from the Parsonage reminding us that it was 20ƫApril old style the wedding day of our Pastor & that altho no invitations were ever sent out Mrs Law always received their friends that evening. Debo recalled a pleasant dance the last anniversary & was delighted at the prospect of another. I determined not to resist this effort at sociability as I had done all their formal invitations to large parties for I felt we could not expect to receive our Pastors family under our roof if I always refused their hospitality. after shopping with Debo in the way of artificial flowers & white gloves for her I felt very much fatigued for the streets were in a most uneven state, but my kind Sister relieves me of household cares so after a warm bath I laid down with a book & thus missed seeing Mrs Gellibrand when she called. which I regretted exceedingly as she has not been well enough to go out lately. Altho the weather was so unfavorable it was by turns snowing or drizzling we met quite a number at nine o clock, after the kind reception from our Pastor & Mrs Law - who looked so bright & happy upon this their 30ƫanniversary,94 that they might well have made all the single present willing to enter the list for matrimony - we took tea in the little carpetted parlor, but soon after were drawn to the large entrance room with parquet floor by the sound of music & dancing. I knew Debo was at the piano for it was one of the waltzes she often plays & she is never among the waltzers. By turns the parents of the young ladies chatted with me, & found95 that some very few dissapproved of this mazy movement as much as I do. Mr Catley96 remarked that the Polka was only suited to the stage! I thought it only becoming mere children! MƤ F. Baird97 looked well notwithstanding she was in the same quadrille with her son Charles,98 for the quiet of Passion week had restored her somewhat after a long winters dissipation, she wore new diamond, her broach was so novel I could not but look at it tho I am seldom attracted by jewellery, it was in the form of lily of the valley the single leaf of enamel, the sprig of lilies upon it of large diamonds. perhaps if the English Ambassador99 had not complimented her upon her good taste I should not have noticed it. Mrs Law & I had a nice talk about her darling little grand children.100 Mrs Caslett101 took an opportunity of expressing a hope that we should be at her ball next week but I excused myself - Attracted by some beautiful plaister models of Thorswaldens exquisite sculpture I had a full description of the originals in the church at Copenhagen which made me wish more than ever to go there.102 Soon after Whistler came in (business had detained him at home until half past ten) I took french leave, as Debo would be under his guardianship & was in my own room before eleven, listening to a cheerful letter from Preston103 which my Sister had received & felt compensated for the exertions I had made for others by an approving conscience the Searcher of hearts knoweth that my enjoyments are not in the world! I often err no doubt thro my wish to gratify my dear daughter for my judgement & experience both condemn the false system of enjoyment, the world offers, but I so yearn for sympathy from Debo, that I am willing when there is no glaring folly to meet her more than half way. her father could not persuade her to leave the gay throng until after supper & I was not asleep when they came home at one oclock. I grieved that Whistler should be distressed by her selfishness, for tho he makes many sacrifices of his own inclination to attend upon this only daughter, he expects consideration in respect to his peculiar views of propriety, & late hours her health will not bear, however he ever evinces forbearance from reproaches & probably she was not aware how much she had dissappointed her dear father when he kissed her fondly as usual for good night, & I hope she rested better than he did, for her cheek looked pale & her eye languid, tho she persuaded herself the excitement would do her good. I can see our Heavenly Fathers wisdom in exiling us from our native land where Debos intimacy with many gay circles, might tempt us to yeilding entirely to her inclination & thus health be wasted, here the evil effects of dissipation are so glaring that even she must be assured we are right in confining her to a very limited participation of gaieties natural to youth.

Saturday [May] 3ƨ104 of course dear Debo was not able to rise to join us in the family devotions, she breakfasted in her own room at nine, her father had been called out ere then so that they did not meet till almost bed time (when he went to Mrs Gellibrands where she dined, to bring her home, Mrs Grant105 spent the morning with her, they practised two hours duetts, then walked out on the quai. Mrs Ropes brought in her work & sat in my room where I had stationed myself at my work table for I am just now much interested in replenishing my husbands stock of linen, she is invariably cheerful & affectionate, I was grateful to her for bestowing so much kind attention upon me. Jemmie was taking his drawing lesson. Willie gone with Mary to see his little friend Scharschinka Drury who has been shut up with effects of measles all winter nearly & now has very sore eyes - Aunt Alicia with willing feet attending my family arrangements in pantry, dairy & kitchen, so dear Ropes chat quite dissipated the sadness I might have yeilded to alone, when last I was cutting out shirts it was four summers ago shut up in my room at Springfield, Sister Julia assisting me, dear mother then my house keeper!106 Ah how much I think of her so far away! but God appoints our separation therefore I check even the rising wish that it should be otherwise. It is exactly a week since the last letters by the Boston Steamer reached us. I can scarcely define my emotions when this feast of many letters from home107 came in late Saturday evening, after the calm of Passion week, we had every day been contemplating the love of our Saviour for us, & had after divine service on this last day of the week partaken of that holy Supper which is to shew forth His death & resurrection. Sister had just finished one of McNeiles most touching lectures108 appropriate to the season, & the world with all its contending interests seemed to have retired, How full was my whole soul with love & thankfulness as I perused my mothers letter! it was long & satisfactory, for altho it told us darling Willie Wyatt109 had been extremely ill, it pronounced him convalescent & but for it, I should very naturally have allowed my imagination to picture only Marias anxious watchings & her exhausted frame. dear Sister! it is trying to be so far from you when I might by sympathy at least mitigate your sorrows! Whistler did not get back from Alexandrofski that night till late, his letters from George & the GenƝ110 kept us wakeful, May the infirmity be compassionated which induced me to mingle thoughts of those dear absent ones with my prayers on Easter Sunday111 at church! Why cannot I cast all my cares for others on God, as I do the future in temporal things for myself? I know He knows what is necessary to fit us all for the last great change, I experience that His chastisements are in love & in the review of my own life am so convinced of the benefit of affliction that I would not have had one stroke less if I might choose-yet I tremble for those dear ones for whom I daily pray “all things may work together to bring them near to God112 & that they “may count all things as nought compared to the knowledge which is in Christ Jesus”113- Oh how small is my practical faith! In the afternoon of that Sunday as we had no public worship I read to my dear James & Willie from their favorite Abbotts “School boy”114 - how astonishing that any of the children of a larger growth even considered wise men in the world should reject such counsel! the lesson in this little world are admirably adapted for all capacities to yeild happiness for this life which may be delightful contemplations thro out Eternity. Debo drove with Mrs Harrison to the service at Alexandrofski – Whistler took Mr H to Tsarskoe Selo to see Col Todd & get a peep at an American newspaper if possible, as our Ambassador never sends us such a favor - We all met at tea & partook of some of Aunt Alicias nice sweet curd & cream.115 her friend old Mrs Baird having provided her with Rennet,116 which we could not buy here – But I linger a whole week & must skip back to last Sunday117 to note down that the bridge of boats having been drawn back from the Quai in anticipation of the breaking up of the ice all the portion of our congregation belonging to Vassili Ostrow were prevented attending church, I was not well enough to go in the morning & enjoyed quiet reading at home, & was thus invigorated to listen to a most excellent discourse from Dr Law in the afternoon text 2nd Epistle of St Peter 1st chap 10ƫverse.118 What a pity so few were there to profit by it! Ah how strange that christians who can make leisure for every day to throng the Church during Passion Week, should yet absent themselves every Sabbath afternoon from joining in public worship. merely upon the plea of hospitality to friends; or family enjoyment, perverting the 4ƫ Commandment119 to their own injury. Oh how long it is before early habits thus formed can be broken, that we can feel it a privilige to spend the Sabbath in communion with heavenly objects & that it becomes indeed a day of rest. God will bless our endeavours to keep it holy, even if our natural estrangement towards Him tempts us to question the benefit we shall reap from perfect obedience “We shall reap if we faint not.120 Oh if we could but remember that we have to deal with a just & jealous God as well as a merciful & compassionate Saviour, what remorse might be spared! but human pride asserts human priviliges & like the Israelites on their journey we continue to rebel: And thus Canaan121 is lost to multitudes now as then.

Monday 5ƫ of May I was aroused unusually early by the voices of Whistler & all the young ones in the drawing room, even Debo in her dressing gown was there to enjoy the sight of the flowing Neva, yes its dirty winter garb had been cast off in the night & tho the weather continues cold we may hope an agreable change. The ice continues floating in great dirty flats all day & as the wind rises the chilly feeling increases. Henrietta Law122 to pass the evening in practising with Debo, we enjoyed a most gorgeous sunset at eight oclock. beautiful starlight succeeded, Whistler found us still lingering over the tea table when he returned after nine from Alexandrofski, he was very glad of a hot cup of chocolate as he said he had not suffered from cold in a drive during the winter.123 We amused ourselves looking over “Letters from the Baltic”124 while the music was going on. I had read Miss Rigbys work before I left Boston, but since becoming familiar with Russian scenes it is much more forcible, one of her remarks upon the baptismal ceremony in the Greek Church made me laugh they cross the eyes to express the vow not to look upon evil, the mouth to prevent the utterance of evil communication & she thinks the same charm of the † must be passed upon the nose, as Russians seem not to be annoyed as others are by the odious smells which infest every avenue to the public, their churches, Acadamy of fine Arts &c – By the way I may mention that our home on the English quai is directly facing that last named imposing building, the window in my room is opposite the principal ferry stair,125 & if ever I am at a loss for variety I can watch the embarkation of the passengers in the ferry gondolas, tho I rather think it will only be interesting to me when Jemmy is among them, for soon as the ice is all gone he hopes to cross three times a week to take his drawing lesson at the Acadamy.126 But the Governors boat from the fortress is always the first to cross, none dare venture till he has gone thro the ceremony of filling a glass with Neva water & on presenting it to the Emperor in the Winter Palace has a goblet of gold peices in return for the intelligence127

Tuesday [May] 6ƫ128 The sun rising upon my pleasant window awakes me every morning now, long before I can persuade myself to profit by his bright example, but I sprung up on the instant this morn to see the state of the Neva, looked at the watch, it was five minutes to four oclock! the thermometer said four degrees cold & the wind was blowing so fresh down to the Gulf that all the ice along shore had disappeared during the night. Of course I took a nap after thus gratifying curiosity. The young folks took a walk upon the quai after breakfast, & came in complaining of cold, except Jemmie whose cheeks looked like damask roses. Debo & I wore our Shubes when we went in the Droshky to the Gostinandvo, to purchase a riding habit for her, & were glad we had not sent away our furs, which we discarded long before, last Spring. Mr Ropes met us quite a pro-pos in the market & made some good bargains for us I was tempted to purchase a pretty Moscow silk129 to send to America, & also one or two dresses for my spring out fit, as I have only my black bombazine now in wear. On our drive returning past the Palace we saw the quai on the island completely manned, from the Fortress to the bridge, hundreds of people & from the firing of cannon we knew the governers boat was upon the voyage across the Neva, in the afternoon the river was alive with gondolas how glad the island population must be that their embargo is at an end, still carriages must wait for the replacing of the bridge, floating ice will be an impediment for a while & besides, with all their watchfulness & authority, two of the boats forming the bridge were carried down by the ice, while probably the lazy Russians dozed on their post.130 Mr Harrison came in while we were at dinner & repeated his wifes invitation to my Sister for her promised visit, so she agreed to return to Alexandrofski with him, she instructed Mary in all her duties to save me exertion during her absence & then made her own few preparations. dear kind Sister! how shall I feel when she is packing up to go to England! while even the prospect of this weeks absence made my heart sad, much as I hope she may enjoy the visit to our amiable young Countrywoman & her sweet children.

Wednesday [May] 7ƫ131 Such a bright day! the river gay with boats we begin to anticipate arrivals soon at Cronstadt from England. Whistler has been to Alexandrofski already today Sister freighted him with lots of love from her warm heart to all at home, she whispered him when none were by that she had nearly perished from cold in the night! their house has lately undergone many improvements, but taking out the double windows was rather premature, I dare say my dear Sister Alice became chilled in her evening drive for we could not persuade her to wear a fur, she said she was not made of stuff to chill, & only took my grey cloak to protect her from the muddy road. otherwise her English silk mantilla132 she would consider heavy enough for May! But Oh we are not in that green isle! even there the season has been unusually long & cold. I had the favor of a peep into an American news paper of Mr Harrisons the other day, date lst March, the Norwich133 had made its first trip from N York to Albany! that was unseasonably early for Hudson navigation. I am getting impatient for letters from Brooklyn134 again!

Saturday [May] 10ƫ135 Nothing new to record except my having gone in Whistlers droshky yesterday with him to Alexandrofski - from having suffered great fatigue when we went in the Winter - my only tolerably long sledge ride in Russia – I feared to venture since, but trust “now the ice is broken” I shall often be my husbands companion in his pleasant, low & easy vehicle as I cannot walk far enough to be of essential service.136 I found only little Annie, Henry & their young German Governess137 Mr & Mrs H having taken my sister to Gen Wilsons138 about 3 versts further up the river, to explore the extensive weaving fabric, where damask is brought to such perfection a price of fifty silver rubles is often readily obtained for one table cloth & one dozen napkins. I had great satisfaction in the hour I spent with these affectionate children & practised some of my bad french upon their Governess by way of encouraging her, as she is timid & a stranger, not able to converse in English tho she comprehends it when spoken. Then there was all the new furniture to admire & the improvements in their house to approve, so the time flew while Whistler was in the works making some experiments in iron. We set out before sunset – right glad were we of our furs for the air was frosty still, how much we enjoyed our nice tea, home made bread & home churned butter as also bonny claba & cream139 at nine o clock - our boys were ready by the time I had finished for me to read to them as Mary had taken care they & Mr Hadenskougg should have a plentiful bread & milk supper before my return. What beautiful evenings we have now! the ruby glow of sunset continues at the horizon & the bright stars & new moon are so brilliant in the clear canopy above. Oh how I delight to feast my eyes thus after the duties of the day are over & I have quiet & leisure to reflect upon the past, how I pity any who can look unmoved upon the wonders of nature! & I am grateful that I inherit my mothers taste for such contemplations, Grandmother140 & “the little ones who have gone home before us are fond associations with Gods own coloring in the firmament, and soon memory will bring many sweet pictures before me when the approaching season, for flowers greets me. But we must wait for May blossoms yet awhile, not a spear of grass yet! the ice has continued in sight all the week upon the river, tho the barges continue to ply with passengers between the city & island, the bridge is often drawn to one side to let the masses from Lake Ladoga thro. how perfectly pure & white it looks in comparison to that which was walked over by thousands during the long winter upon the river & canals. And as there is no avail in being impatient I try to admire even this variety from muddy ice, to fresh & clean. One certainly does not take the lively interest in a foreign land we do in our own, where nature dictates to us when to expect singing birds & blooming violets. Poor Martha Ropes is anxious for suitable weather to see all she can in the neighbourhood of St Petersburgh before her long voyage back to Boston. & we hope a brief spring for her enjoyment. she has been sitting with us this morning, working secretly at slippers to surprise Mr Gellibrand on his birth day which will be next tuesday,141 while her fingers have plied thus industriously, she has been talking of the intended wedding of Dr H.142 their family physician, it is to be “published” tomorrow at the English church. the long smothered attachment between him & Miss J– 143 has so suddenly revived that it has become the interesting theme in the English circle. his little girls think it will be quite a blessing for them to have a new Mama & I trust she may exercise such an influence over them that her task may be rewarded, they have been rather too little controlled, but they are reasonable & affectionate - & she gentle - scarcely double Alices age will no doubt win them, for her love to their father it is said has undermined her health & she was their own mothers favorite companion - one of the few who saw that beautiful & excellent woman in her great sufferings during the three days after her sudden attack which was ended in death about three Summers ago.144

Tuesday 13ƫ May.145 Three records to make of today, have just finished a very unsatisfactory letter to my dear Sister Ktie to despatch by the Courier for England, in hopes of its meeting the Steamer for Boston by 4ƫof June. My life is so monotonous that I can only tell them what they know that distance only strengthens the cords of family love & that I envy even every scrawl I send home. I miscalculated about a semi monthly Steamer for April & thus brought dissappointment to myself instead, must be more patient & not indulge in anticipations in future. This is the lƪ of May, Russian style, weather very cloudy & moist, but I dare say this unpropitious aspect of the clouds will not prevent the usual fête at Catrinoff,146 as the rich will go around the gardens in equipages better than if the dust of yesterday had been attended by its sunshine & the poor heed not the weather, the holiday they will not lose. occasionally we see fields of ice floating down the Neva from Lake Ladoga, so green fields would not be in keeping. & I am sure they never dance around a May Pole147 near this city whatever the peasants may do in the south of Russia, I would go to the fête myself to see that, but in all their holiday games here there has been no exhibition of gladness of heart, one never hears a merry laugh or sees a bounding step, they swing, or ride on hobby horses with the same decorum they would enter church, & to a reflecting observer it is sad to witness that on Gods own holy day the seem most unrestrained. last Sunday afternoon we attended Mr Ellerbys preaching at Alexandrofski as the Harrisons invited us us to be present at his farewell discourse to our countrymen the Mechanics at his works.148 My feelings were perhaps peculiarly solemnized by the view which had been presented of using every means for salvation, & the crowds of idle Russian peasants herded together on our ride back to town really distressed me, some sleeping, some drunken, some playing their native game with bones,149 I wondered those who could speak their language should not warn them of their misapprehension of Gods commandments, immortals merely vegetating in their short uncertain state of probation, how can the thousands of protestants of the English here be indifferent towards the poor, good natured peasantry, whose language they are so eager to learn, to employ them for their own convenience. It is not surely enough to excuse them when all shall stand together at the judgement seat of Christ, that the Greek Church was considered christian. Oh when shall the true light be given to the Shepherds of this countless flock! that they may exert their power over them to make them happy for time & eternity. Today is the anniversary of Mr & MƤ Gellibrands wedding,150 it is to be celebrated at Mr Ropes as usual & we have promised to join their family circle at tea with a few other friends.

June 6ƫ Old Style today is & 18ƫ our calender151 – My illness interrupted for two weeks any record of family events & feelings – since then preparing sundry gifts to send my Sister Kates children by Mrs Gellibrand & Martha Ropes who embarked last week for Boston required all the effort I could muster in my debility after so much fever. I have not felt so ill in many years as upon taking cold in a drive a damp afternoon with my dear husband to Alexandrofski, a cough I had fancied could not attack me in Russia for I had never been two years exempt from one till my residence here, but it racked me distressingly & with fever in my head my whole nervous system was deranged. Never can I forget Dr Rogers untiring attention, at first visiting me twice a day, then once & still he looks in upon us two or three times a week. What a comfort too to have the tender care of my dear husband, soon he must leave me for a fortnights absence on the rail road, but thank God it was not necessary while I was ill. My kind Sister too relieved me of all domestic anxieties & Mary anticipated all my wants. Mrs Ropes too used to bring her sewing & sit beside me, but I was not allowed to talk, so visiting my room was rather discouraged by the doctor & my watchful husband. however when I could read, my spirit was refreshed by perusing the “Memories & Remains of Murray McCheyne of Dundee”152 which delightful work a young Scotsman had lent me just before & ere I had quite finished it, Capt Kruyger set me the Revd George Williams new work on the Holy Land,153 I must try to read it thro ere his return from England, for it was a farewell loan when my boys favorite called to say adieu.154 & there is scarcely another copy of the work in Russia. nothing could have drawn me from the perusal of so interesting a volume but the necessity of aiding our dear Debo in getting her wardrobe ready for a contemplated visit to her Aunt Winstanley. and I have felt glad that my strength was sufficiently restored to drive as far as the Gostinandvor155 to shop for her & more important yet that I could ply the needle for her notwithstanding a constant pain in my side. The weather is still very unfavorable to my getting rid of that, bleak winds continue to prevail & vegetation is at least a month behind what it was the last season. While a prisoner to my room Wm Maingay arrived from Germany bringing tokens of his Mother & Sisters regard for us. I have not yet seen him as he has only called to deliver these, & has not appeared at church the two last Sundays,156 when I have been there. Mr WƟ Millers return from Scotland157 caused quite an excitement in our house about the same time for he sent so many packages, curiosity was quite rife. but Aunt Alicia soon unravled the mystery, she had commissioned him to purchase her some tokens of her love for us all, a beautiful suit of dark blue silk tartan for each the boys, a bible & prayer book bound in one for me, & a unique travelling case for Whistler, knife fork & spoon of steel & silver. How often this warm hearted Sister brings my dear departed father158 before my minds eye! may she be blessed for all her proofs of a Mothers love to me! since my earliest recollections I look back upon her care for me, & now that religion has purified the bond of sisterly attachment, we sympathize more truly than ever. she could not have given me any thing so valuable as the complete volume which is now my companion in the solitude of my chamber & when I attend the house of God. I have resigned to darling Jemmie now the Polyglott bible159 which was his sainted brother Joes & since his death had been prefered to me to any other, because of the association, may James be aided by the holy spirit to love & to value the unpretending looking volume! But I must not omit to record that we received also by MƢ M many other tokens of friendship. his brother160 wrote the kindest note to my husband offering for the acceptance of Debo & myself curious pebble brooches & a tartan scarf to the former to experiment upon – & the bearer managed to slip in a pretty Edinburgh reticle with the Thistle embroidered in gold upon satin tartan. Then Eliza Stevenson now Mrs Tom Smith161 sent her (with the sweetest bride like effusion descriptive of all her wedded bliss! the tiniest embroidered pocket handkerchief - which had been one of the bridal presents to herself. Soon as Mr Miller ascertained that I had resumed my place at the family board, he invited himself to dine with us one Saturday, telling me in his note I need not fear he would wear out his welcome by staying all the evening for he had an engagement at 7 oclock – however he put that off, for the weather was tempting enough to make Whistler accede to his after proposal of all taking a drive to the Alargna162 one of the charming islands where the Imperial family have been since the ice dissappeared. I did not go of course, my boys brought me a bunch of butter cups the first wild flowers which have greeted my longing eyes this season. & they told me of having hailed Wm Maingay who was rowing a party in his English barge163 in his sailors costume. Debo & Mademoiselle regretted I had not been there to meet the beautiful Grand Duchess Olgar & Empress. but I had enjoyed a tranquil hour or two at home much more, for the trifling exertion of entertaining a guest or two was fatiguing to me, still so weak. MƢ Miller made the boys merry as crickets, gave them a lesson in a Highland dance to the quickest time Debos fingers could move over the keys. But after tea when Capt K164 would have proposed more music our frank Scotsman opposed it, as out of all reason to begin again after ten. the twilight is really so deceptive no wonder the lovers of amusement encroach upon the hours when we should be at our devotions, previous to rest. I was obliged at last to steal from the drawing room to my chamber, which Mr Miller thought was hint enough that it was time to make his congé.

If I had not been to busy, until taken ill, I should have recorded the magnificent spectacle we witnessed on the 14ƫ of May.165 Capt K had succeeded in obtaining a window for us in the 4th Story of the Prince of Oldenburghs palace overlooking the Champ de Mars,166 & tho it was rather humbling to our independent spirits to have to wander thro his stables & once stand to one side while the Emperors daughter passed from her chariot to the honored part of the palace we mounted the wearisome back stairs & found we were favored, among a distinguished few ladies & officers who had reached the desirable eminence before us. It is impossible to convey a conception of the effect of 80.000 troops with their field peices, banners &c glittering in the Sun Shine,167 for the weather was propitious, altho a slight shower obliged the Empress & Grand duchesses to abandon their elegant English equipage after they had driven thro the avenues among the troops to receive their cheers. we had a perfect view of these beautiful women, the Grand duchess Olgar was dressed in sky blue, the wife of the Héritier in pink & the Empress in Lilac. the troops in their new gaudy uniforms of every hue gave the effect of a vast bed of tulip. The Emperor rode proudly among them, no one could have mistaken any other for the monarch tho the Grand Duke Michel (his brother) the Grand duke Alexander & Leightenburg168 followed close upon him. What a multitude of splendid horses were there & so exactly alike for the several batallions. As the Emperor received the shouts of the several companions as the passed him in their maneuvers methought he looked too proud for mere mortal & I wondered if he remembered the presence of the King of kings! for I thought how small was all this array in comparison to the Armies of heaven. On three sides of the square field were palaces, on the fourth the Summer Gardens, so that the dull realities of life were completely secluded & yet I could not forget them, in my minds eye I contrasted the sheep skins of the ignorant & dirty peasantry & I knew too how many hearts were wrung to afford this army numbers for its ranks,169 & while famine raged in the interior170 it must be supported at an expence which would have made the poor comfortable, & what was all this for? to display the power of one man & to make his subjects tremble to disobey his slightest wish, a silver ruble was to be given to each soldier after the review,171 in how short a time thus nearly 80.000 would be squandered in drunken revelry. The maneuvers detained us many hours & an elegant luncheon was sent to every apartment in the palace for its visitors, chicken salad made more refreshing by jelly of calves feet as one ingredient, the nicest cold ham I have tasted in Russia, &c, followed by ices, we scarcely needed that dinner should have been ordered at six oclock at home. I was most delighted at the modest politeness of my little Willie that day. he attracted much notice from a Russian family which shared our window, answered them in french or russ whenever addressed & proved that he was grateful for the kindness of the ladies, by offering to put down their empty glasses & plates as he observed them in their way. darling boy! may he never become conceited or selfish! I do not like to make comparisons, for Jemmies eagerness to attain all his desires for information & his fearlessness, often make him offend us because we love him too tenaciously to be reconciled to his appearing less amiable than he is, the officers however seemed to find amusement in his remarks in french or english according as they accosted him. they were soon informed of his military ardor & that he hoped to serve his country – England – no indeed! Russia then? No, no, but America of course!) My poor boy how little you dream of the horrors of the battle field, a review is the pageant of the sad reality. but I should pray you may be clothed in the whole armor of God.172

June 28ƫ173 I have been giving dear Debo all my spare hours to put her wardrobe in order for a visit to her Aunt Winstanley, the impossibility of obtaining a berth on board the Steamer in which Mrs Busk174 went, was a great vexation to her, I had never known Debo so energetic as she was in her efforts to obtain her wish to reach London. I told her all must be ordered for her good as we had taken every means in our power, she would yet find it providential that she was delayed, still her first & last question night & morning was about Steamers for England, & her father was urged to get Col Todds aid in obtaining her passport, at last all was arranged to her satisfaction, the money pd for her berth in the Hull steamer175 & Mrs Cotton176 delighted to taken her under her care & she felt it long to wait till thursday of this week. her father was obliged to start for the rail road last Wednesday177 & his parting words were “be a good girl & write me often from England.” we looked for American letters that day by the Lubec Steamer178 which was due, I wondered what Debo would do if she heard George had made up his mind to visit Russia in the course of the Summer, tho I concluded we should not have him till August as I thought he would embark in a ship from Boston to Cronstadt. I advised Whistler to leave me an envelope directed in Russ to overtake him on his route interior in case of letters, which he did. But instead of letters, came George himself the afternoon of the day his father left home for Moscow in 24 hours more Debo too would have been gone! who can say chance has aught to do in the events of a day. Our very hairs are all numbered,179 & our Saviour never loses sight of those who put their trust in Him. my constant prayer is that He will guide each one of us & that all things shall work together for our eternal progress to His right hand. Delightful as were my emotions on welcoming my dear Son, when the excitement was over & I left to reflect upon the unexpected changes of the day - a kind of awe mingled with gratitude to God, and I wondered if we should yet see some especial purpose of our Heavenly Father in His arrangements for us this Summer - perhaps not - many would ridicule my superstition but tho my health is sound & my prospects of long years to come are flattering I always realize how slight is the tenure, & tho I would not say so to others, the thought has more than once occurred that dear George was sent here & Debo detained at home for a mothers blessing.180 May the Holy Spirit make me willing in the day of His power to cast my whole care upon God! Debo became as eager to get rid of her ticket for a place on board the Rob Roy as she had been to obtain it, & the agent behaved most generously in returning its value. After she had read her letters which her dear brother brought & admired all the gifts sent her by her young companions she took a tete a tete stroll up the Nevski with him, and I was left to rest on my sofa with the refreshment of my dear mothers letters, for Aunt Alicia had an engagement at Alexandrofski whither she was accompanied by Mademoiselle & Willie - and I persuaded Jemmie to attend his drawing class tho he could not bear to lose hold of brother George! he went for two hours to the Acadamy of Fine Arts & Mary went to ride, with Mrs Ropes darling little trio of girls & two nurses,181 as she usually does two or three times a week- My loved mother had picked a wild flower from the grave of my little Kirkie & Charlie, & dried it to send me, it is a precious gem to me! and those heavenly lines upon the Adoption,182 soothed my spirit as strains of sacred melody. Oh, I would not have exchanged the holy communings I held in my solitude that evening for all that the world calls delightful! After tea George came & sat beside me talking of Stonington & Brooklyn till I could almost fancy myself there. but our bodies were tired tho our spirits were eager still for all that each could give of the past! We only wanted my dearest Whistler at home to render our happiness complete. but he had just left us for a fortnights absence! George & I determined to write him immediately & forward all his American letters - which he was bearer of - we did so the next day.183 How very sudden the transition must appear to our dear George, leaving Boston as lately as the 1st day of this month & arriving at this city of Palaces upon the 25ƫ having passed a week in England he could tell us of Aunt Winstanley who will scarcely expect Debo now. The Capt of the Rob Roy behaved very handsomely in returning the passage money & Debo went to the boat to bid adieu to her friends in high glee, Mrs Cotton said how lonely she should feel without her, neither Mr or Mrs C have ever been further than Cronstadt from this, & with three little ones184 to take care of it is a pity they are not tried sailors, she has the sad prospect of scarcely reaching England in time to receive a dying Sisters adieu & has had to leave a little infant only a month old as nursling to a Russian under her other Sister Mrs Andersons roof. how various are the trials of human life! but God does not willingly afflict! & our blessed Saviour assures us He sympathises with all His children. Oh that we could lean upon His bosom in holy love & confidence!

July 8ƫ tuesday evening.185 It is so impossible for me to journalize without neglecting the claims of those around me that but for the wish to bring an absent parent in imagination to our family group at St P I should abandon the attempt. Whistler is still upon the road I am sorry he will not reach home to greet dear George on his birth day.186 I have treated James & Willie to each three silver rubles for birth day gifts to present brother George tomorrow morning & am dissappointed in my search after a bible to offer him in place of the Polyglott I gave him twelve years ago. however if I cannot procure one from England, ere he must wend his way back to our native land, I know he will prize the one I use doubly, & Aunt Alicia has generously offered to replace it with another to me. Gods word is indeed my daily food. & I pray His holy Spirit may open the hearts of all my children to its beauties

[Thursday] August 28ƫ187 After having closed a letter in answer to one received last evening from my indulgent mother, I occupy this twilight hour in recording the mercies of my heavenly Parent “not knowing what this night may bring forth”188 my symptoms are of approaching illness I cast myself with entire confidence on a divine Redeemer & pray if years on earth shall be added to my term of 40 years His spirit may guide me into the paths of righteousness & that my children & beloved husband may continue united with me in striving to honor Him. When I look back upon Gods dealings with me they have indeed been such as to cause me to praise Him not only with my lips but in my life! & shall I not devote my all on earth to Him, who hath so mercifully led me for forty years thro this wilderness. If He calls me from the joys of an earthly home Oh may it be to a heavenly Canaan! My heart clings too fondly to ties here. husband, children Mother! absent brothers, sisters & a native land hold out strong inducements to make me yearn for many years! but I earnestly pray to have no will but as God wills & that Jesus may be preferred to all other ties however deserving of my best affections. Have mercy on my human weakness Oh Thou who rememberest my frame! Let me lean on thy compassionate bosom & cast my cares on Thee! Yesterday being the anniversary of the birth of my last little one, I almost hoped would have brought to my embrace the one expected this month. but every day is precious as I have duties for my hands yet to fulfil. We should strive more than we ordinarily do, not to neglect present time, “Tho in the midst of life we are in death”189 All that I attempt now has that awful import. May these impressions never leave me. I heard of the death of my friend MƦ Nichols190 of Lebanon last evening, rather should I say her entrance upon eternal life, may her bereaved husband be comforted with hopes of being re-united to her & their little ones191 when his work in the Lords vineyard is finished & it shall be said to him “well done faithful Servant”192 How often have I looked back upon the piety of that family circle at the Lebanon Parsonage with satisfaction. I only, envy such, on earth, & pray the habits I have endeavoured to give my children may become their choise thro the influence of Gods holy Spirit. Oh that they may value time as they ought! referring all their pursuits to Eternity! How inexcusable are those who avoid the means for improvement, I have read “James Anxious Enquirer”193 again lately with startling interest, & today took up Abbotts “Religion & Happiness”194 wishing all I love might see the force of his arguments as I do. But my dear husband & children understand my views as being simply those of the bible & I pray they may live separate from the world, whether I am their companion & encourager in the narrow path, or whether from the grave I speak to them. Now bodily pain makes me restless & this may be my last page! I have just been drawn to the window overlooking the court, by Dounias expressions of admiration, my nerves are weak surely, for why should I weep as I gaze on my precious Debos graceful form as she is riding thro the Archway with Mr Ropes & his wifes Sister Emily Hall195 they look so happy & the weather is so propitious for their enjoyment, but the future for that daughter presses heavily upon my heart if she should soon be left Motherless!

But let me not wish to “guide the hand of God, nor order the finger of the Almighty”196 What an oppressive burden is taken off a Christians shoulders, by the privilige of leaving all consequences while in the path of duty, to God. The follower of Jesus need not say how shall I bear this trouble! how remove this difficulty! how get thro this deep water! Casting all care upon the All=wise=all merciful I commit myself & all who are dear to me to God. Tomorrow I may not be here! But He is from Everlasting! To Him I turn in prayer.

October 23ƨ197 So much have I been occupied since the last page was written it has proved quite impossible for my pen to note the changes which have marked the time. How solemnized were were feelings as I completed even that, for the pains of my body made life seem uncertain, but our Heavenly Father has indeed given a fresh spring to my earthly existence & I pray for His grace to spend it in bringing my children up in His service. At about half past one oclock on friday morning August 29ƫour little darling Russian boy was born,198 his fond father & Aunt Alicia who had by turns comforted me by their presence in my chamber, waited in the nursery to see the fine healthy babe put in his Karita199 by Naanooshka,200 soon after which our dear Debo & George were told of the acquisition, the latter only, expressed dissappointment that it was not a little Sister, as to James & Willie, another little brother was just what they wanted! Willie was so captivated he would fain have attached himself to Titanias201 apron string! & always thought it a great treat if he might have the glass of mothers milk which baby did not want, or a reward if allowed to see him in his Karita. Every hour testified Gods goodness to me. Dr Handysides202 visits seemed only to be to advise caution to keep well & to congratulate me upon having so vigorous an infant. Titania was called to Alexandrofski to fulfil her engagement to my American friend203 when baby was eight days old & it has been my pleasure every morning since to bathe & dress my sweet boy. but when she was a fortnight old she was permitted to come to see him & to be present at his christening,204 which took place in our drawing room in presence of all our American friends & was performed by DƢ Law, (my Sister Alicia & George being Sponsors while Whistler stood proxy for our pastor the Revƚ H Lee of Springfield Massachusetts who we think will not object to being God father to our little John Bouttatz. Yes we have named him in compliment to our Russian friend Col Bouttatz, for he has evinced love towards our other children & must ever be associated with those (God early recalled) Kirkie (who loved him for his gentle attention, & Charlie whom he was the last to look upon! Probably he may never see this name sake! for he is thousands of versts away, engaged in some mines on the borders of China in this vast Empire.205 tho if he ever can visit us I am sure he will love the little Johnnie who is such a delight to us all. That Sunday of the christening being the 3rd after his birth I sat at the head of the dinner table – but I ought not to omit to mention all our domestics206 were witnesses, & each drank his health & tasted to rich cake offered to our guests. Yohon our faithful German footman who is a Lutheran. Christina & Doonia our laundress & house maid who are Russians & therefore of the Greek church & Marie our cook a Fin, each seemed equally interested, tho our own good Mary shed tears of emotion, for she as having been Charlies nurse & now Johnnies feels most with us. May He who was in the midst of us, Accept this little one & regenerate him by the purifying influences of His holy Spirit & may we his parents fulfil our vows to work with God & strive to keep this lamb of Christs flock from straying away from the fold! Gladly do I renounce the vanities of the world! Oh may God help me to obtain a conquest over my own sinful passions that my example may not be a stumbling block to any of those entrusted to my care. May I never forget they are not my own, but Christs, & to be required at my hands! Awful responsibility. The next day was one of some bustle & I avoided it by keeping to my room, for I must store up all my energies for the demand in prospect. It had suddenly been decided that we must part from our dear Debo whose health needed a change & Mary was aiding her in packing for a long absence from home, we must none of us selfishly murmur, for God had marked out our course of duty. As last June every effort she made to set out for England was frustrated, so at this time every obstacle was removed & on tuesday she embarked with her kind Aunt Alicia & her brother George on board the Rob Roy for Hull,207 the agent of which had so considerately restored her passage money when he heard that our plan of sending her in June was frustrated by Georges visit to Russia I bore up against my grief at parting with three at once, not only for their example but for my dear husbands sake, & would it not have been sinful to have had rebellious wishes, when an Invisible & Heavenly Parents hand had the helm. “for without Him not a sparrow falleth”208 Whistler took our boys to Cronstadt to see their Sister, Aunt & brother on board the English Steamer. So many arrangements were requisite to be completed that day in preparation of the new Tutors coming the next, that Mary with Doonia & Yohon were all busy, I only gave orders as I sat beside & attended to my baby. We required no dinner except in the kitchen! But tho I was well pleased to have had our appartments restored to perfect order & many comforts concentrated in the two rooms209 to us for sleeping, I realized how desolate the circle when at nine in the evening my dear husband & boys returned & we four sat down to tea, where the table was wont to be crowded. That night Whistler & I were still seated in earnest conversation about our darling daughter until after midnight, he had spent some sleepless ones in the prospect of this necessity for a separation from her & it became my comfort to soothe & cheer him by sympathy & by leading him to cast his care upon Him who could make all which seemed adverse work together for good to her. Mons Lamartine210 was installed on the 18th of Sept211 as Tutor to James & Willie. I rather dreaded heading my own table the first day while my husband was at Alexandrofski, as I could not converse with a German & he had I knew lived two years in the family of Genl Chiffkin, whose lady212 of course could freely do the honors, as Russ Italian & French she is equally versed in, however as there was no resource I collected all my mental powers & went out to welcome him as one of our family circle, he came forward with the utmost politeness & respect, kissed my hand, & the freedom with which my boys chatted with their tutor soon made me quite comfortable. I could comprehend – & this was enough for it is difficult to determine which is the greatest talker Jemmie or Mons Lamartine, he is about fifty years of age - yet perhaps his sallow & very thin visage makes him look so, for his black hair is not the least turned. He takes all his meals at our table, only his lodging is at the house where old Mrs Leon has hers, she recommended him to us, & so grateful is he that once when she was out he took the chance of testifying his gratitude by spreading a handsome quilt upon her bed which he had purchased purposely. One excellent trait in his character is his affection for his Mother who is supported from his salary, he looks sad when he speaks of the improbability of his ever visiting home again! he seems truly pious, attends his - the Lutheran - church regularly every Sunday morning & would always join our family prayers as he has done once or twice but like most people on this continent is not fond of early rising! he only manages to catch his breakfast with us. At 12 precisely Yohon takes him a cup of Soup & each of the boys a boiled egg to the Cabinet d’etude at 1 1/2 they go out to walk, great has been the demand for patience & perseverance with the tutor until they are broke of their wild pranks in the school & on the street, he must indeed discover a vast difference between them & Russian lads who are drilled from infancy to politeness & submission

Oct 24ƫ I have been sending off my second letter to dear Debo for this is her birth day,213 we have also been favored twice with epistles from her,214 she had been on a visit to Flosh215 with her Aunt & Uncle Winstanley & altho this season there is too much rain in England to render travelling delightful as it otherwise would be, she found the sunshine of hospitality & kindness under Mr Ainsworths216 roof & the day of the journey back the weather was propitious, they made the circuit of the Lakes217 & Debo was charmed with the scenery – her health benefitted also by the fortnight among the mountains. She is looking forward to our dear friend Kate Prince meeting her in Preston! May He who is the hearing of prayer answer mine for the happiness of my dear daughter! cheer her during her trying separation from us & turn all that seems adverse to her wishes into cause for gratitude hereafter, May He unite our hearts perpetually in love to Jesus & grant that we may always remember in passing thro temporal scenes, the end of being that we may enjoy them only as pilgrims upon earth, referring all things to Eternity. May my dear daughter only seek friends among those who are the friends of Jesus! In England she has the advantage of hearing from our native land speedily & keeping up a regular correspondence with dear George & Julia. She will open the mysterious pacquet I put sealed in her trunk containing her birth day souvenir & tho trifling in comparison to last 24ƫof October, it will tell her mother thinks of her.

Saturday November 29ƫ218 Baby is exactly three months old today, his mother records with thankfulness that he has always been well, but little Johnnie does not give her hours for her pen or book, hence the wide gap again in this which must be brought up at the close of this month. How many events for gratitude to God crowd for notice. Our dear Georges letter announcing his landing in New York reached us exactly three weeks after its date! the most prompt communication yet, between the U S & Russia. During the Steamer Gt Britian’s219 voyage thither George was exposed to great peril, once this immense ship was surrounded by breakers among Nantucket shoals, the experience he has had even since he left us ought to excite trust in an Almighty, invisible hand which led them out of their perilous situation to the haven where they would be - for Debo had acknowledged how fearfully near, death seemed on the boisterous voyage they made to England. Oh how she would have trembled again could she have been aware how the sea raged around her dear brother! but she was spared even hearing of the uneasiness felt for the safety of the Gt Britian - as this was only her 2nd trip to N York & she was 19 days accomplishing it - We have heard lately from our dear daughter how glad she was made by a letter from George – she had just returned to Preston after having spent a fortnight at Waterloo,220 where she had gained so much strength from sea air that she had explored its environs on foot or Donkey without suffering fatigue. Kate Prince was still in Paris! and Aunt Alicia had remained in Liverpool. Debo missed her as a part of home, notwithstanding the fondness lavished on her by Aunt Eliza & that she is a favorite of Uncle W. They mention the death of our old friend MƧ Stevenson221 in London. for many years she had been tried with illness & afflictions. Oh that thro much suffering she may have entered glory! she was one who lived but to serve those around her! May it be said unto her at the day of Judgement “inasmuch as ye did it unto the least of these - ye did it unto Me”222 but I have heard nothing of her death except that it was sudden at last. Oh may it find me prepared to meet my Judge! I have received a most happy report of the illness & death of my friend & countrywoman Mrs Nichols from her husband the Revd John Nichols223 of Lebanon Connecticut - her love for the holy scriptures had been so sincere she had long carried a pocket volume even on her drives of a few miles that she might read a few chapters by the way- no doubt this truly united husband & wife held sweet counsel upon the word of God - for he says his wifes hopes were all founded upon the promises of scripture & that she found them all true. she was inspired to write devotional lines for his comfort on her bed of suffering & the only wish she had unsatisfied at the last hour was that he might go with her! But it is his Saviours will that he shall yet work in His vineyard & tho Mr N says he shall never come out of the shade God has cast over him I am sure many that the world envy may on their death bed wish they had been as this lonely man!

Saturday night Dec 27ƫ224 It is almost useless in me carrying on a record of the events of this year, when once a month, a half hour only can be thus devoted. But I have still the bountiful goodness of my Heavenly Father to inspire me with a desire to note down, & the hope that as the days lengthen & darling baby is less dependent upon me I may collect what may be pleasing to send my honoured mother. Debos letters once a fortnight225 continue regularly to cheer us, we look forward to the every other Monday as eagerly as children do to holidays. her last closed with the words “in one hour Kate Prince will be here” & her next we suppose will tell us of the treat she felt the society of that dear friend from Lowell to be, but now we imagine her to have changed the scene again as she was to spend the Christmas at Chaddock Hall226 where, when I was Anna Mac I passed these holidays so delightfully that I almost fancy myself there now beside my dear Sister & kind brother Winny who have my Debo under their wing as they then had me. We have missed her much at home, the fond little brothers were right when they said it would not appear like Christmas without Sister & Aunt Alicia & Mademoiselle!” Their kind tutor has most amiably devoted the four days holidays to their benefit however. On Wednesday the birth day of the young Harrisons227 was celebrated & while James & Willie were there in a party of 30 children, Mons Lamartine laden with bon bons aided Yohon in decorating a tree according to the German custom, wax tapers of every color fixed on every twig of the ever green, (which was brought from “Dom Drury” Peterhoff road228 by one of the good old gentlemans peasants for Willie who was right glad to reward him with “Na Chi”229 —– grapes hung down from every bough, sugar roses, strawberries, raspberries & currants to be plucked & offered to the young guests, if Willie had not be dissappointed that Sarsha230 could not come & that the Zargoshkins231 were not allowed to stay to dinner, his satisfaction would have been complete. But I must not forget the pleasant drive the boys took with me (as soon as baby’s nap released me, in our New sledge, we stopped first at old Mrs Leons to remind her we should dine early as she had promised to come to help me entertain the juvenile party - and to deposit a gift with her & cakes in the tutors apartments, being next hers, then we drove to Mr Woods to ask for Kitty & Willy232 to dine the next day as James fête. – A gift descended upon that family in the form of another daughter,233 Kate was all full of joy to announce it the day after saying “now we are several girls & boys, but I hope we shall be ten or a dozen that we may play all sorts of games in a family circle by & bye” the little lady was dressed in a rose colored muslin & her cheeks became the same hue, my husband was quite charmed with her naiveté & said aside to me the Woods were the life of the 16 who assembled around our dinner table, – but I must not skip over Christmas day, & first, let me never forget my experience of Gods mercy in permitting us to assemble at prayers in health! As I seated myself at breakfast table what was my surprise to find under my cup a beautiful gift from my faithful nurse Mary, a carved ivory seal for my desk with the initials of my name in silver & a type of her own fidelity in the chaste cart dog at the top. I was moved almost to tears by her humility in placing it for my acceptance & the boys were not slow to report to her after breakfast that “father said he never could find any thing so pretty” when they went to give her a large bun & to distribute one to Yohon, Hadenskougg, Dunia, Coharka, Christine & Coacher.234 Willie could not in two turns bring the load from the German bakers,235 without aid, & his labour of love created much mirth in the bufet. After babys bath I was soon ready to take the boys a drive in our beautiful new Sledge, we called at Mr Woods to invite his children to dinner the next day. tho our first stop had been at Madame Zagoshkins for her two little girls,236 who attended by their nurse were at our house by the time my boys could get dressed to receive their guests, but these were not allowed to stay more than two hours. I am guilty of repetition I find from seizing odd moments after days intervening. For we have entered upon a New Year 1846. And never was there lovelier weather than Thursday the 1ƪ of Jan. Our boys were to have spent it with their young countrymen the Eastwicks237 upon the American Ice Hills at Alexandrofski but Jemmie had been imprudent in venturing upon the Skating ground before it was freed from snow without overshoes, also be it recorded to his disgrace he had run thro every pile of new fallen snow which had been scraped together by the sweepers on the English quai. he paid severely for his exploits by narrowly escaping Croup & he was asked if going thro the Allegahany Mountains238 was preferable to the ice hills – As he poor fellow had to keep his bed the New Years day I stole Willie from the school room to go to the market with me having yet the Old Style Christmas239 to prepare gifts for. how striking was the Winter scene as we went out upon the Quai. the sun shone so brightly upon the gilded spire of the Old Fortress Church on the opposite side of the frozen Neva, which is not yet soiled by the winters travel over it. We were altogether out two hours for after shopping two we came back to get dear father to help me choose new caps for the boys. very becoming they prove, of maroon cold velvet. he selected a Polka Hat240 for himself, the boys thought it put him quite in a dancing mood when he went home! Another American mail without a line from George, if he could only conceive how dissappointed we feel he would not omit writing regularly. A letter from Mary Mac241 informs us he is in Baltimore & Mr Winans informs us it is in his fathers works our dear Son is interested.242 he should not have deputed to others this intelligence, for we look to him now for our medium of communication, since Julias243 letters are directed to Debo in England, & my dear Mother is in Florida for the Winter

Monday [January] 5ƫ Russian Christmas Eve.244 Willie looked so nice when Mary completed his simple toilette & sent him by Coacher to Mr Morgans245 at 6 oclock, with many charges not to disturb ringlets or plaited frill by his furs - and seemed so full of bright anticipations of all around the green tree, the little companions he was to frolicwith till 9 oclock that I felt more than ever sorry dear Jemmie’s cold still keeps him prisoner, and he so good humouredly saw Willie depart! only we disagreed about the advice he gave to fill his pockets full of bon bons – After our tea, Mons Lamartine being away, Jem & I hied to the school which was in the nicest order for our setting the plates, my apron & pocket filled with the gifts selected during my several shopping excursions of last week with my little Willie as interpreter in German. French or Russ as the various magazines246 needed. We had to reserve dear fathers portion for when I might arrange the several articles in my own room as he soon followed us to the school room. We had just filled the plates eight in number when Willie returned from the party, he being the first to tear himself away from the facinating circle at Mr Morgan. which had been considerably increased by the entrance of masked ladies my innocent Will could scarcely believe Miss Emily Law was not a real Russian Nurze, tho he knew Miss L was not a Monk or Miss Isabel a Cossack247 – he came home laden with spoils for it is the custom in this land to take all the bon bons one cannot eat & those who are not au fait,248 have them pressed upon their pockets. The last thing attended to by our boys was hanging up their stockings & Mary acted as a liberal Santa Clause, she would not again teaze them as she did New Style by putting in a bit of string & an old end of a Sterine Candle. They were quite rich in the morning & yeilded to my proposal not to open the door of the school room until after dinner. Willie hid the gift he had for dear father by his plate before breakfast & after the blessing had been pronounced I pretended something called me to the Corridor & softly stole behind Whistler with the new Umbrella open & shaded his head, this caused the boys a merry moment & then father discoved Jemmies tobacco box, which coming from the Demidoff249 is completely Russian. he declared we had all cheated him as he had supposed gifts were only provided for the servants & he had none for any of us. But the boys did not agree to that when James found his watch converted into gold by fathers forethought & Willie received a costly & instructive game called the Gallery of Versailles250 Johnnie we all claim as our richest New Years gift & kisses is all we offer for his acceptance. Our Servants all were thankful to attend church as we did, Mary of course could not leave baby. Doct Laws text was “Jesus Christ the righteous” some parts of it did not satisfy me. he wore his scarlet robes & cap. altogether the effect was too high church for a simple republican.251 Many more communed than usual, I remarked for the first time our friend Mr W Miller, yet very probably he has often received this sacrament without my being aware. I always now am irresistibly led to notice the HonƘe MƤ Bloomfield252 at church, since her piety is her distinguishing grace. she is sweetly devout and I should judge her unaffected & humble minded. What a contrast to the gay, worldly, old Lady Stewart who occupied her place when we first came to St Petersburgh I was pleased that only my dear husband & boys waited dinner for me, as the servants were the sooner freed from attendance, Yohon took the contents of his Christmas plate home to gladden his children, & Coacher asked to take his pie to share it with his brother, he promised to send the 3 ruble note to his wife who is a slave253 in Moscow. The three women servants would kiss even Whistlers hand when the came up to the drawing room to receive their plate & dresses. As to baby the nearly devoured him with kisses. Mary had to run off with him to the nursery. she said she had never before such beautiful gifts. I felt so happy that I had succeeded in gratifying all I asked for no greater treat. Our tutor did not get his gifts till yesterday the 8ƫas he has been sick. Hadenskougg seemed equally delighted with his. & Even Pasha254 had a mince pie. How easy it is to create good will among those who are not pampered & selfish. I had quite depended upon a Christmas offering from my dear Debos pen & was dissappointed when the envelope contained only a hurried note from her to her father & the others directed to friends here, she has spoiled me by the regular & fond epistle once every fortnight, for tho I was glad to get a note from our dear Kate Prince - who also sent one to each of our boys,255 I craved more. I had forgotten to mention that of late I have had to pay several visits to our countryman Doct Maynard,256 he has almost charmed away my dread of a dentists chair by his skill & gentleness, even in the fearful operation of extracting. I did not suppose I could voluntarily have submitted to losing three teeth, as I have done at a sitting lately. This countryman of our dined with us today en famille as did Mrs Harrison & Annie unexpectedly. We had one of my mince pies, for the first time since leaving Springfield I ventured in the kitchen to try my skill as a pastry cook, but alas want of practise caused labour without satisfaction. I wished these might meet others who at our table257 tomorrow. but they are always welcome even when I am not prepared to show off my best house keeping.

Friday evening [January] 9ƫ258 My husband had engaged to take Mr Curtis259 & his daughter260 to the Alexandrofski works but the snow was yet falling in heavy flakes as it has done this winter & they decided to wait for more favorable weather. We invited our good neighbours the Ropes to meet them at our five oclock dinner but MƤ R had not a moment to spare from poor Hannahs261 sick room & also her three little girls are quite ill with cold, how various are the scenes of this uncertain life. Whistler & I took our little Willy to church yesterday to attend the funeral service of our old landlord Mơ Drury,262 he was so deeply interested he wished (as we drove back thro the Galernia, many times we might to go to the grave, he had noticed the grief of even the poor slaves who were present when their old masters coffin was moved down the aisle & said how solemn it looked to see the little grand children weeping & all the family in deep mourning. I shared my little Willies feelings & it was rather an effort for me on returning home to bustle about getting fruit &c ready for our expected dinner party. Col Todd was the first to make his appearance so we had some private chat in the drawing room upon the Presidents Message263 & the Cols own contemplated return to our native land,264 before Mr Clay came, with an apology from his lady265 whom he left in bed. Mr Joseph Ropes was quite an acquisition, for Mr & Mƶ Curtis266 were the only two besides. the dinner was a nice one & all passed off well to my relief. We had Codfish which is brought from Archangel267 frozen & we had also American cider the gift of my kind friend Mrs Gellibrand. but it was not from Newark268 I fancy. A bright moonlight night & the report of a thaw, which with such an unusual quantity of snow was not desirable. We sent the Curtis to Misses Bensons lodgings in our sledge at eleven, the others had taken leave before tea. the col having two other engagements for the evening. It is always a weight off my mind when a dinner party is over whether as an entertainer or a guest, I prefer unceremonious hospitality.

March 9ƫ 1846.269 Monday night. I should give up journalizing as it is so seldom I have an hour not demanded by some higher duty. but hope always urges me on, there may come a time when I can make weekly records at least, & if we ever return to our native land my boys may like to refer to this period of their sojourn in St Petersburg. The weather this winter has not been as it was last year. Thro Dec we had much rain & the river was unusually late in closing. January was frost unyeilding till at last we became accustomed to 20 deg of cold & upwards. truly I realized the old adage in February “as the days lengthen the cold strengthens”270 and we each have suffered in turn. I have taken cold after cold, my husband also from exposure in his drives to Alexandrofsky has had repeated attacks, and once our precious baby was so ill I wept over him trembling to see him suffer, but God blessed the means used & since then he has been gaining upon our little countryman “Sweet William”271 next door & does not yeild the palm for sprightliness to any of the babies of his age. The frosty weather yeilded very mal a-propos no doubt the people thought, for the thaw began with the Carnival, nevertheless the crowd thronged all the places of amusement in the Square & when we drove home that way one day - week before last - from a shopping excursion in the Nevsky the Circus riders were trying to entice the multitude to pay & enter. Jemie felt quite tempted by the 1/2 doz riders who had come out to shew their horsemanship, & wondered I could resist the invitation but I always reply to my boys that the Spectacle for us is outside, where the holiday scene tho painful to reflective minds, certainly is peculiar to Russia, the ice hills in the centre with their sledges in active business. the gaily painted pavilions some offering swings, others boats on wheels. others cars on a circular rail way. then the theatres with all their tawdry signs, at a signal all are set in motion together & the poor people fancy themselves happy while they chaunt their own peculiar measures, tho the Police are surrounding them on their huge black horses to make them remember they must keep their mirth within bounds in this Imperial city. This holiday when none will work who can avoid, commences on the Lords day & is kept up thro another Sabbath immediately preceding Lent. Indeed the whole community are rife for amusement before the fast. The theatres, concerts & Operas offering three times instead of once in the day. Our boys found it so tantalizing when the Eastwicks came from Alexandrofsky to our house purposely to take them to the Cachels272 that I almost feared their father would yeild, but the most unselfish feelings induced him to say nay. they had always been happy without these experiments & he would not risk their following the multitude in their chase after folly. It was kindly meant by the Eastwicks & I rejoiced on reflection that my dear boys seemed convinced by their fathers arguments, they should have had a course upon the Neva in the Laplanders sledges273 drawn by Reindeer Whistler went to seek this seasonable pastime for them, but for that day the races were over, so he sent Yohon to secure for them seats at the Theatre des Enfants274 for the morrow. Mary went with them. it was noon & I gladly took her post in the nursery. when my dear boys came back by 3-oclock & Willie acted all the little poupéts parts, sung, danced, disappeared to come again before me with fresh novelties, I felt that few could enjoy more innocent amusement than we. he so artlessly said to me when describing the scenery stage &c “Oh Mother it all looked so grand I was afraid real people would come out to act & then I knew we ought not to stay as you do not approve of any but poupéts acting” – I wished within my heart he might ever make this distinction & never have the sin recorded against him of encouraging immortal beings in thus frittering away their days in rehearsals & their nights in exhibitions! Jemie was in extacies when he told me of the beautiful dissolving views which had closed the exhibition & they had each said to Mary as they drove thro the Square, how glad they were that father had not let them break the rules to go in that rowdy crowd. Even poor Dounia our Russian maid tho the boys had each presented her a half silv ruble to amuse her Sat afternoon at the Cachels had not gone, she spent her money in coffee & sugar & congratulated herself that she had not yeilded to the temptation to throw it away upon Swinging &c. Our coachman got drunk without leave or licence, but he was the only one of our household who heeded the general holiday. My dear husband who has often dieted during the winter to get rid of illness was obliged to consult doct R & it happed luckily as some would say, but providentially his setting out for an inspection of his rail=road had been delayed for he would have been as badly off as Mungo Park.275 I had little sleep while he was ill for baby too was yet in a precarious state & probably anxiety for them both, aided by the closeness of our heated house affected my heat,276 then the preparations for Whistlers departure exposed me to draughts for last Sunday week277 which was the day succeeding, I was scarcely able to open my eyes from congestion of the brain. I immediately directed my attentive Mary to apply synapisms278 to my ankles, back of my neck & throat. and took a dose of oil, by noon however I sent for the doct who approved of my course & only advised a mustard foot bath, but darling Johnies teeth caused me a sleepless night & I realized the next morning how ill I still continued. however during the week which has elapsed I have gradually recovered. letters from dear George in Balt came to divert attention from self – & others to enclose his father to meet him at Tver.279 also one from Debo280 to interest me. she writes of the signs of spring coming violets & crocuses opening & of her walking miles without fatigue. how great her advantages to be where her feet can press the soil! but she only is eager to fulfil her term of absence from home & be restored to us again. I cast the future upon the Lord who so gently leads her & warms hearts to love her wherever she is. thanks be to Him that her health is restored, I will not even dread bringing her back to the unwholesome atmosphere of this city founded on a bog-for He has ordered our sojourn in it. The thaw has now lasted nearly a fortnight, it would be imprudent for me to walk, I even rode the trifling distance to church last Sunday, it was Sacrament & I took dear old Mrs Leon home in our sledge tho her lodging is such a step from the church, but she must have waded ankle deep in mud to get thro their gateway. My boys too remained for me thro Communion & thus gave their mite to the poor at collection. Ah how sad it is to observe how many turn their backs upon the Lords table & satisfy their conscience by the form of attending once or twice a year! but Mrs Bloomfield is never absent either from public service or communion, she looks so devout & acts with such sweet humility my heart warms towards her with sisterly affection. & yet in this world we must always be as strangers to each other. How much it says too for the household of the queen of England that one who was among her maids of honor should so consistently walk in the narrow path honoring God in the midst of a people who are so indifferent about keeping the 4ƫ Commandment. My Mary always remarks upon Sir John281 & Mrs Bloomfields attendance in the afternoon when so very few go to hear the word! Doct Law does not spare the luke warm, he reproves & exhorts them to turn from the error of their ways. I was much delighted to learn by a note from Mrs Law last Saturday that the two poor Englishmen who have been supported at her Hospitium282 have at last collected the needful sum for their return to their families in England. poor fellows they no doubt are trudging willingly over winter roads their weary long way! while I am daily lamenting that my husband has to ride over such between this & Moscow.

Tuesday 10ƫ March.283 Jemie still marks down how many deg heat in place of cold in the mem he keeps of the weather for his Father. Appearances certainly portend an early breaking up of icy bands, & how delighted I shall be when safe to send baby out into the open air even in a carriage! he enjoys Marys bringing him even into the drawing room submits to being wrapped up to pass the back stairs the only part of our lodgings not heated, for he likes change of scene & for these first six months of his existence has not had much variety. he certainly is very frolicsome for his age! This morn I was quite surprised at receiving another letter from Wellesly House.284 I immediately replied to my dear daughters affectionate epistle to assure her of our all being quite well again. she reports herself quite a Hebe285 & the kind Maingays are so urgent for us to spare her longer to them to profit by the air of Shooters Hill that I only wait her fathers acquiescence to accept Mr M- invitation. Jemie voluntarily gave up going over to the Academy to draw this afternoon that he might do something to surprise dear father, in anticipation of his coming home. No one ventured in the sledge therefore, my little effort at shopping in the Nevsky yesterday made me look most disreputable with mud plaisters on face & shube so I shall probably work up the materials purchased for my dear Mothers caps & write letters to go with them by Mr J Ropes to America the rest of the week unless frost comes to purify the atmosphere. Our poor Dounia is ill today, no doubt the effect of the unwholesome diet, she observes the fast strictly. Oh how I wish I could read to her the 48 chap of Isaiah!286 can it be possible the fathers of the Greek church read the bible & yet make the poor people believe they commend themselves to our Saviour by abstaining from milk, butter, eggs & meat, to substitute oil, mushrooms & cold fish. He who is a spirit & requires to be worshipped in spirit & in truth! Oh when will the true light shine upon the East, - whence it first dawned - Oh that the few scattered over the Earth who have it, would let it shine before men, to glorify their father in Heaven! I am continually admonishing James & Willie of their responsibility. they have been taught from the scriptures always. May God the Holy Spirit make them wise unto Salvation.287

Friday night 1/13 March.288 We have had fine bright sunshine today. I sent the boys with Mary in the Sledge before their school commenced this morning as Mon L-s289 passport obliged him to be late in coming. they were so sure the Ice Hills would be “first rate” I sent them to reconnoitre, the Mujic290 promised impossibilities if they would give him Na Chi, & they came home in full faith of returning in the afternoon to find the hills like glass & to go down to their hearts content, but a drive I took at noon with dear old Mrs Leon admonished me against consenting to any risk of their getting wet. the thaw was in full force many men at work in the Nevsky could not keep the sledging even, & we must submit to being spattered with mud until the ice is quite gone.

Saturday 14ƫMarch291 a fortnight this afternoon since Whistler, Winans & Capt Klokoff left us for the inspection of the railroad. I was surprised as delightful292 last evening to have my scribbling put a stop to by my husbands unexpected return home, he found the travelling better than I had anticipated for him, had not felt well, but had gone all the road to Moscow, where he attended divine Service last Sunday, he came back upon the grand chemin293 which from the expectation that the Emperor would soon travel to Moscow294 was in fine order, many hundred peasants constantly labouring to keep it smooth. And here I will note what Whistler has seen in Summer, women & children weeding this turnpike lest his Imperial Majesty, or the Count K’s eyes should be offended by a weed or any grass peeping out of the gravel My dear husband had not forgotten us in his fortnights absence, for each of the boys he brought a gun which Yohon is to teach them how to use, they had merited rewards for good conduct & I was delighted to see them so. Mary’s gift a screw cushion295 was just what she had wished for & the pretty hand bell the only thing I was not already supplied with. What a holiday it causes throughout the house when father comes home! of course much bustle too. I have been very busy in unpacking. Whistler had taken a canister of cakes to make presents at some of the officers house where he is always hospitably entertained, but the ingredient of butter condemned them & he brought them back. I sent one large loaf to the kitchen for the Fin Cook & laundress do not substitute or fast as they call the Lent regimen. I gave the other to Yohon to take home tomorrow to his wife & children, for Lutherans also are quite exempt from the six weeks abstinence, tho of course as in our church this is a holy season in theirs. How impressive would be the fact that all denominations of worshipers observe this portion of the year religiously if all were sincerely penitent in the sight of God! Jews & Christians!

[Wednesday] April 15ƫ296 How astonishing that I who have nothing to do with dissipation, should command so few convenient seasons for recording passing events in the quiet routine of my life in Russia, for I am blessed in good servants & my good Mary even relieves me of bathing baby now besides sewing for him entirely when he takes his naps. but the system of housekeeping is not upon the principle of saving time, which is the least of all things valued in the East. And this month past I have been much occupied in a sick room. My dear husband was seized by such an alarming attack a few days after his return from the road that altho all doct Rogers skill was exercised, we found nothing to remove the excruciating pain for many days warm applications yeilded relief, & my unceasing activity was demanded by night & by day to repeat the poultices often enough. how thankful I felt that he had not been taken so very ill away from his nurse & physician, and how grateful when at last he could take nourishment & sleep! While the rumours of sickness & death were on all sides, we were spared. Oh that we might improve our prolonged existence here to the glory of God & the benefit of that part of our being which cannot die! baby was dangerously ill after his fathers convalescence & doct R was only surprised that I did not complain of fatigue from watching one sick couch then another, when I could be dispensed with my symptoms shewed a deranged system & I have feared I should suffer the debility many complain of here after the long confinement to heated rooms. My dear husband was sufficiently recovered to go for us both to the dinner party our friends the Gellibrands gave to the Americans.297 but I was still too unwell last Wednesday, to accompany him to another, next door298 where he met them, Wm Maingay, the Meirrilees & several other English friends. How far it was from the thoughts of any them assembled around Mr Ropes hospitable board that the youngest & most blooming among them would this day be deposited in the tomb, yet difficult as it is to realize, we have listened this morning to the funeral address which Mr Ellerby made at the American Chapel over the coffin of this young christian, and my prayer is that the impression may be deep & lasting. It is just a week today since Emily Hall299 in the bloom of health apparently sat for Mr Wright300 to take her portrait, the family never put off what may be done in good time & her return to England so soon as the navigation might be free being urged by her parents & sister301 at Leeds, her fond Sister here wished to secure a likeness of her favorite Emily at least. tho they were all hoping now the Neva’s ice was dissappearing they might remove to Pavloski early enough for her to participate in Summer scenes in Russia as she had so much enjoyed the peculiarities of its Winter pleasures. The Ice Hills she was quite a heroine there! and sledging she had compared to flying so exhilarating she found these exercises is the pure cold clear atmosphere. she likewise enjoyed exceedingly going to the Ménage302 attended by her brother-in-law, who always must ride on horse back for health – last friday303 they were in the quadrille of Equestrians! she the admired of the set for the ease with which she managed her steed, & he so proud of his Sister Emily! After dinner he proposed walking with her to the Gostinandvor to shew her the curious spectacle of the toy booths & the immense crowd collected to sell & buy trifles, for the Palm-market was a novelty to her, she expressed herself pleased as was her wont where she saw their desire to delight her, but in the evening confessed she was not well upon their noticing her pale cheek & unusually quiet air, took some remidies for a cold & went early to bed. last Saturday304 - the next morning - Emily was up in good time for family prayers & to make breakfast for Mr Ropes, for the baby305 & little Ellen being ill, their mother was not allowed to make any exertion. When I stepped in just before our dinner time to ask after the little ones, I was struck with their kind Aunt Emilys paleness & felt it unusual with her not to take part in the friendly chat with her sister & myself, especially as we touched upon the subject of her return to England, for Mrs R was fearing in six weeks she should not be able to finish the beautiful peice of embroidery, she had all winter been trying to complete for her Mother, but during the past nine months she remarked “we have never all been well! I always have some one to nurse!” Little Ellen then wished her Mama to stop working, take her on her knee & read a story to her, upon which Aunt Emily put by her own embroidery & soon Ellen was happy with her fond arms around her neck, who then began telling of having taken little Louisa to the drawing room windows that morning to see the ice floating down (the river having been released from its Wintry fetters in the night306 – and she so fondly repeated all the untutored remarks of the little two year old neice, that love & kindness was every tone, still I was pained by her strange look, & when I heard towards evening that Dr Handysides had prescribed for Miss Emily who had gone to bed I was not surprised, colds are still so prevalent & I had found the Palm market a chilly place, I doubted not she was getting the Influenza. On Sunday morning when I sent in a supply of milk from our over abundant dairy307 I sent a message also enquiring how all were, & heard that Miss Emily was much better, therefore I made up my mind Mr & Mrs Ropes would go to chapel & so little serious did I consider her symptoms I should not have wondered had she gone also, for she never let trifling obstacles impede her attendance at the house of God. I had always been convinced of Emilys devotion to her Saviour, she had only a few days before been saying (happy as she felt visiting her dear Sister - she must go back to her charity & Sunday schools at home) and I have observed her in all weathers tripping away to Chapel & when she could she has rode for the 3rd service to Alexandrofski. Knowing how sacredly the sabbath is observed by our neighbours I did not intrude, but thought Monday would be time enough! And yet I had not been without many experiences of “not knowing what a day might bring to pass”308 After our early tea I was reading aloud from Legh Richmonds family portraiture309 to my boys & their dear father in the drawing room, the front door is so near, we hear the voice of all who enter. A succession of quick pulls at the bell & Elizabeth Ropes310 agitated tones made me spring to her side. “Oh come MƤ W for Gods sake! the doct says Emily is dying! the short passage between our lodgings was passed in a moment & I was not many seconds in reaching the chamber of death, for so it proved, the idolized girl of 19 years was gently breathing her last, with her loving face turned towards that fond Sister to whom she was never again to speak in this world! MƤ Ropes was kneeling on the bed beside her, gazing intensely upon that countenance which was so calm, she could not believe the cold hand she pressed was in the gripe of the king of terrors, but if the loved one were conscious the sting of death was not felt by her, she might have been strengthened by Angels who were invisible to mortal eyes! for she slept in death, as an infant lulled to sleep in a mothers arms. The struggle had been no doubt some hours before when poor Emily was so restless they could keep on neither blisters or sinapisms, she had then raised herself many times hopeless of ease & fallen back again on her pillow exhausted. but from the time I stood by her death bed all was calm, & dear Mrs Ropes could not believe her darling Emily had ceased to breathe until she called for a candle & saw her eyes glazed! sightless, tho open! then nature could sustain her fortitude no longer, she was carried in a swoon to the next room by her afflicted husband, who felt as keenly as herself losing their favorite Emily. who have recovered from that protracted & severe illness of last Autumn, they were not prepared to give up in 30 hours from this sudden attack. “Be still and know that I am God”311 was not slow to reach their wounded hearts, & tho so deeply bereaved, tho bowed to the earth in passing under this rod, they were not long in uttering “Gods will be done” Poor Hannah who had so tenderly been nursed by Miss Emily in her feeble health all winter, was so shocked by the suddeness of her death, she needed all our care & support. Elizabeth Ropes & I got her to bed only in time to keep her from falling in a fit on the floor, her whole frame shook till we feared dissolution & her extremities we cold as Emilys! When at last she could find power to speak she said “Oh Why did not God take me! I am so miserable, so useless, such a care to every body, & she was such a blessing to all! but then she added meekly “He knew who was best prepared for His summons! Oh that I may be as ready to go as Miss Emily was” —– But I must not prolong my account of last Sunday night, tho it was after twelve ere I could leave that house of mourning. Aided by my good Laundress & my excellent Mary we dressed for the last time that cherished body that no rude hands should touch it, and a sofa having been placed hear the balcony in the drawing room, the double sash removed & the fire put out, doct H. Mr Merrilees & her Uncle Gellibrand bore the cold form of Emily which was extended on a board that it might be gently removed to its lonely couch. There both Mrs Ropes & MƤGellibrand gazed upon the loved form tho the sister could not yet weep. but on the successive days her bursting heart was relieved by floods of tears, as she could not deny herself stealing to Emilys side, until tuesday312 afternoon, when after the doctors had examined into the cause of so sudden a death & decided it was inflamation of the bowels.313 the body was put in its coffin (covered with pure white velvet - with plated handles & silver plate with name, & that evening carried to the Chapel. Dear Mrs Ropes & even poor Hannah were there at the service today. Old Mrs Leon went with us, but neither of these were at the grave314 itself as the distance & weather rendered it imprudent. Never shall I forget what I felt as I stood looking down into that white sepulchre & saw the earth sprinkled on that snow white coffin of the young Emily! but as her dear little neices have been taught to distinguish, so must we all bear in mind it is only the body of senseless clay in that beautiful coffin. the spirit has returned to God who lent it to cheer parents & Sisters & friends, and He will speak comfort to all who turn to Him. Tho clouds & darkness surround His throne,315 we know that the beams of mercy & love emanate from it. And that in all our sorrows, Jesus sympathises. What a lesson to the young to Remember their latter end316 ere the days come in which they may not find repentance tho they would flatter themselves the sick bed is most suitable for making our peace with God. But when the body is racked with pain, the intellect becomes clouded, Emily did not need to make a death bed testimony that she was one of the Saviours fold, for His service had engaged all her talents, but alas if she had given the world her heart, how could she have commanded her affections to Him who is the Lord of all. her brain was so much affected immediately that she could not converse & it was only by one remark in reply to her Sisters wish that Emily were well, & she in her place that she gave any expression which would lead one to suppose she was aware of any danger “Oh Ellen dear she said, dont wish yourself in my place! think how much more valuable is your life than mine!” I have seen Mrs Ropes since the funeral, she is calm & has comfort in speaking of Emily, whose spirit she is assured is rejoicing in the presence of her Saviour, she trusts to His might to sustain her parents when the blow shall reach them. Mr Ropes has written their pastor Mr Hamilton317 at Leeds who imparted so much religious instruction to Emily, he will comfort them by sympathy & sustain them by the promises of Gods word. I cannot cease writing of Emily Hall whom I never saw till eight months ago, without touching upon her sweet influence over her little neices next door. their parents have always been intent upon training them in the way Jesus teaches us to bring up our children even in the nurture & admonition of the Lord. the obedience & dutiful attention to their parents wishes is a sufficient reward for their perseverance. And their Aunt Emily these few months past has added greatly to their heavenly wisdom by seizing every favorable hour for cultivating their love of music, with spiritual songs & strengthening their memories with appropriate verses from the bible to their childlike confidence in a heavenly Fathers goodness & love. They have spent every day since her death at our house. Ellen who is just five years old has such a subdued tone & looks so sad, when she says “it is so very strange! the Aunt Emily who is upon the sofa in the drawing room, is not at all like the Aunt Emily who was always with us in our rooms! and then as if prompted by some invisible monitor she adds “Oh but it is not Aunt Emily! it is only her body that is upon the sofa, her soul has gone to God & she is happier in heaven, than we are on Earth”. Little darling Mary Emily sings “Around the throne of God in heaven thousands of children are”318 and when I ask her who taught her that, she says in a solemn tone “Aunt Emily but she cannot speak to me any more!” then she brightens up & adds but Aunt Emily is happier than we are! she is with Jesus & she tunes her harp & sings with the children there! Oh how pleasant that hymn sounds now that she taught me to sing!” Then she goes on in the same strain. “God wishes us all to go to heaven when we die! He says “Those that seek me Early shall find me”319 and Jesus says “Suffer the little children to come unto me & forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven”320 Oh would that all would use their opportunities as did this Young Christian! who was so unostentatiously a devoted servant to the Lord. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak”321 And how natural it is to speak of those we think most of! And how strange that the world should impose such restraint upon the theme of all others to inspire the heart eloquently to speak. “Whosoever honoreth Me before men, him will I honor before the Angels of heaven”322 Oh if we realized more fully, that we are but pilgrims our stay here uncertain, we should not put off, repentance, & amendment of life.

Saturday. May 2Ơ323 1846 At this slow rate I shall not fill this book to send my dear Mother & what else could induce me to note my thoughts on passing events! except that my boys may when I am not by their side like to refer to mothers record of the past. They are in the school room now reading the Roman history in french, to Mons Lamartine, promising themselves a repetition of the pleasure of viewing the pictures at the Academy of Fine Arts at noon, which they have enjoyed almost every day this week. It is the triennial Exhibition,324 we like them to become familiar with the subjects of the modern artists, & to James especially it is the greatest treat we could offer, it costs us only 10 cop silver for their crossing the Neva there & back. Entrance is free to all castes until next week. I went last Wednesday325 with my dear husband for an hour, we encountered a hail storm returning & I have been confined with a cold ever since. The only April showers here are frozen, indeed the extreme cold of Winter is not so trying to the constitution as the chilling winds we have had this week. I was highly gratified however at the Academy, should like to take some of the Russian scenes so faithfully portrayed,326 to shew in my native land, my James had described a boys portrait327 said to be his likeness & altho the eyes were black & the curls darker than his, we found it so like him! his father said he should be glad to buy it, but its frame would only correspond with the furniture of a palace, being a rich vine, the boy is taken in a white shirt with crimped frill open at the throat, it is half length & no other garment could set off the glow on the brunette complexion so finely. But I gazed with a deeper interest upon a large painting of Bruno’s328 “the Serpent in the wilderness”329 those countenances beaming with Faith I should never tire looking at, & Oh what a gloomy contrast do those make who will not look & be saved! Almost every afternoon lately dear Mrs Ropes comes in to sit with me in my room whilst her husband is on Change, she says to sit alone now, where Emily was ever at her side quite unfits her for the exertions duty to her family require, she talks continually of her to me & says since Emilys sudden death, the world has lost its charm, whatever does not lead to Gods glory or advance the interests of immortal souls she now thinks ought not to be indulged in, herself & husband repeat to each other not to delay the performance of good, “tomorrow we may be in another world”

Saturday evening May 9ƫ If my writing had not been interrupted last Saturday I should have recorded that the last Boston mail had brought us more letters than we have ever received at any one time from our dear native land, what a treat! my head & my heart were both full of news & emotion. I wished in vain for leisure to answer all by last tuesdays330 mail, could only finish one to my dear Sister Kate & enclose within it a note to Eliza Mc N.331 how beautiful the account my precious mother wrote me from Florida under date of Feb.332 of the approach of spring after an unusually cold winter in that latitude “Charlies house surrounded by daily rose bushes, now in full bloom, Olianders & cape Jessamines also, multiflora woodbine & yellow jessamines covering the piazzas” all these so odoriferous how enviable to have with reach, it was no wonder I had a sweet dream of my mother after she had filled my fancy thus, it was a brief deception but it made me happy to have been near her even in a dream. I judge by this time my dear Maria must be settled in her new home in 13ƫ SƱ333 Elizas description of the new house with its pipes & warm & cold Croton water334 in every story, its bath room, gas lights & speaking trumpets makes me fancy it the perfection of convenience. May our heavenly father bless the dear inmates with health to enjoy house keeping again! Eliza kindly urges me to go & spend the summer in New York! to meet her aunt Eliza Cammann335 who is visiting them from New Foundland, certainly it is a tantalizing invitation! but my temporary home is too far from theirs alas for me to avail. Debo will find it more difficult to resist returning with her cousin Mary Swift to New York for they meet in England upon Marys bridal trip as Mrs Ironsides,336 about this time, the Bliss337 family also will be overjoyed to embrace their favorite Debo when they land at Liverpool,338 they are to make the tour of Europe. I have commenced answering Mrs Barnes kind letter339 to be in time for next tuesdays Courier,340 she has sent me a delightful report of the prosperity of Springfield, our dear little church now free from debt, our excellent pastor Mr Lee more liked than ever & so attached to his flock as to decline calls of more extensive influence,341 hundreds of houses have been built within the three years since we left, and one of the prettiest, a gothic parsonage which Mr Lee his wife & two dear children are so happy in!342 Our dear George also wrote us a most satisfactory account of his life in Baltimore,343 he sent his father three news papers, the postage upon each being 4 rubles silv, mounted up so alarmingly that we shall have to prevent the repetition of such favors! Day before yesterday the weather changed, the snow which had continued up to then I hope may not return, baby has so enjoyed being taken to walk twice a day by his never wearying nurse Mary! she says he notices objects so much he all but speaks! looks in her face so smiling as he gazes at the novelties in the Boulevard,344 or on the Neva as she strolls with him on the English Quai. I have felt new vigour from the walks I have had directly after breakfast with my dear husband, we cross the bridge & continue our promenade by the river on the Vasili Ostrow side up to the Custom house345 & back. The birds & flowers it is supposed will soon be filling the court yard there, as the ships now just arrived at Cronstadt are transporting these favors for the public market by lighters346 from that seaport to this Imperial city. Whistler during our walk pointed out where he thought the new stone=bridge347 (now being erected below, ought to have been put up. to meet a fine open square near the Winter Palace, so conspicuous are the advantages of that central position it had been proposed, but the objection given was that as all the funeral processions would most probably pass over it, the burial places being on the Island opposite, it would be sad for the Imperial family to witness, yet they must be subject to sad processions passing from the Nevski thro the Isaacs plain.348 We met two funerals at one time on the wooden bridge yesterday. I hope the coming dry season may arrest the illness which fills the hospitals yet to overflowing. No doubt we shall soon be complaining of dust! which is a great annoyance whenever winters pavement is removed. I observed a little green grass today in my drive with boys & fancied the naked trees looking ready to bud, we shall soon jump into Summer! Next Wednesday will be May-day old style & all the world must hie to Catrinoff349 tho there will not be a green leaf to regale the eye; But I had intended as I alluded to sickness among the poor especially to record an act of mercy & justice too in the Emperor as it was repeated to me by my old friend Mrs L. his majesty was making his annual visits among the hospitals as is his custom to inspect all the public institutions, he observed many sick, miserable objects-seated on the steps whom he learned had been refused a shelter- why? the hospital was full & fifties were disappointed daily. the Emperor was struck with the injustice to the poor that suites of fine large airy apartments were yet retained by the heads of the department, he promptly issued orders for the necessary arrangement of bed for the sick in these which had been mere audience chambers for the rich or general visiters. My old friend also told me with great satisfaction the impositions which the new Governer of the city350 is redressing. he goes about disguised as a poor person to purchase meat or other commodities & whenever he finds prices exhorbitant condemns the butcher, baker or shop keeper to a suspension of business & sometimes demands a heavy fine. But my husband step demands my welcome!

Friday 8 oclock in the evening May 22Ơ Our tea table waits Whistlers coming & as the sun is still quite bright I may write a bit ere my boys are ready to hear me read as usual on their retiring. I get very slowly on in the delightful book a Scottish mission to the Jews351 which to me is so interesting from my having read McCheynes life352 last Summer, but I prefer enjoying it with my dear boys & Mary in the nursery, tho the long day-light beguiles them into cheating me of the hour I used to devote at their bed side to sacred biography or scriptural readings. We have had very cold weather until these two past days, & for want of rain dust has been in plentiful circulation when the wind rose, my darling baby nevertheless has gathered a blooming complexion & good appetite from his airings. Mary daily takes him out ere the blustering of Boreas353 can impede his enjoyment. While I gaze at him with delightful feelings, & my grateful heart is lifted to God in acknowledgement of His goodness to me undeserving as I am—. my sympathies are not withheld from a bereaved neighbour, whose little one just eight weeks older than my Johnie far exceded him in intelligence, & who was quite as remarkable for health, the first ten months of her life none had lost an hours rest with care of her, & she had never lost a meal, her four first teeth had appeared without warning, but it was Gods will that teething should be cause of such a train of disease to remove her to a better world in less than a fortnight. Yesterday I saw the precious little body in its pure white coffin, flowers strewed around it, how unavailing its being so cherished by its fond Parents & Sister, it could be kept no longer & the lid was screwed down that they might bear it to the tomb. last Saturday at midnight the redeemed spirit had been borne to the bosom of its Saviour, & when on Monday I went with Mrs Ropes to weep with dear Mrs M.354 we found her quite resigned, she had been attempting taking its miniature. She had been most afflicted at witnessing its sufferings, but with the Man after Gods own heart355 felt after death it could not come back to her, the hope of going to where her little one is will always sooth her as she weeps her loss. In the death of an infant a mother feels “the joy of grief”356 Last sunday morning the announcement of Mrs M-s bereavement revived my feelings in my last trial, & my mind was deeply solemnized for attendance at Church. I was surprised to see a stranger in clerical dress follow our pastors family to their pew. Doct Law read the service & Doct Wiley357 I (afterwards learned was his name) preached, a man past the prime of life with a slight scotch accent, but his very reverential manner & deep toned voice made every word impressive & his subject was fitted to raise our views to the Eternal Three in One! 17 Chapter, latter part of the 12th verse of St John.358 his attitude fixed attention as he leaned forward with a small bible in his hand, if he had notes he scarcely referred to them. I am afraid I shall not hear him preach again, as it is said he is making only a flying visit to his brother Sir James W & that he feels he ought not to absent himself from his flock in Scotland. he came over by the Hull Steamer had morning & evening worship on board & explained the scripture daily to the passengers & crew. I must not omit to record the arrival of our friend George Prince from Boston last Saturday, he returned with the same Capt. Leach - with whom he went out to his native land last August. he was accompanied by his brother,359 they three with the Ropes & our friend Capt Kruyger took tea360 with us on Monday last, Whistler & I received some letters from home by Mr Prince, who whenever he can be spared from the Counting house comes in to regale us with anecdotes of all our relatives & friends whom he visited361 in the course of his nine months absence. I was delighted with a letter he brought me from Mrs Maxwell362 & more still with his account of the hospitality he received from that family circle363 which I am sure I shall like when we meet face to face, as I have always had such a high regard for the Son. Mrs M has sent me a dress, & to my boys a bundle of Stuarts candy,364 how very kind & flattering. Mr Prince says we must be patient till he manages to coax them thro the Customs house. But here is the young gentleman himself. I shut up my desk to chat about America.

Saturday afternoon. May 30ƫ365 It is exactly a fortnight since Geo Princes arrival & not till today did we receive the articles he brought us from Boston. In the interim the ship has been unloaded - reloaded & sailed last thursday.366 But still our books are at the Censors. Jemie wonders if they read every volume which goes there! he thinks they must be well informed on universal history. he loves play better than books & now feels so delighted with Aunt Kates gift of marbles, sent by Mr Prince! that I fear he will read less than ever. Koritsky367 is taking a sketch of baby as he is seated in his little carriage driving about the parlor.

Saturday afternoon June 20ƫ368 I forget what interrupted my finishing this page three weeks ago. but I have been too busy ever since to note down the passing event. My dear husband set out for the inspection of his rail road tuesday before last,369 I have written him twice & not having heard from him shall look for his return daily. Mrs Harrison & little Annie embarked for London last Wednesday in the Victory.370 they lunched with us. Mr H & Henry went to Cronstadt to see them off. it was a sad trial to her leaving her baby & home, but her feeble health made it her duty to go, she nearly fainted & was obliged to be supported from the quai to the boat. we hope she will come back in a few weeks a different woman. The Ropes bade us adieu the same day to stay at Mr Gellibrands datcha371 15 versts on the Peterhoff road. their carts of furniture went off between the showers, but the sun shone out in the afternoon & I took a drive to Catrinoff gardens with Mary & baby. how delightful the verdure, Summer has come suddenly & the change is like magic. We called upon old Mrs Baird on our return, she was very glad to see us & invited me to stay to tea, she expects Miss Morgans Sister372 from Scotland every day & is in high spirits at the prospect. Mr Miller has lately arrived373 & in a parcel he was the bearer of from my Sister Alicia I find a beautiful volume of Sandlands=poems, & feel my fondness for the pet of my school days, as I read his chaste & noble thoughts. Mrs S– sent me this, the work of her dear Johns leisure hours in Brazil.374 It is not pleasant to turn from such contemplations to the dull realities, but I have accomplished the business of house-cleaning in my husbands absence, last Saturday375 I had three sets of men at work, some coloring walls, others waxing floors, other repairing peaches, myself & the boys had to eat in the nursery several days & they have been so glad to have their beds in my room I have not sent them yet back to their own, it is comfortable for the few of us left at home, to draw near together. Old Mrs Leon who has been very poorly, was well enough to spend day before yesterday376 with me. doct Rogers came to tea by chance & we have had Mr Prince to breakfast & tea when Mr Ropes could take his horse back ride to the Datcha to pass the night, for I have begged our young countryman to come with out ceremony when threatened with a solitary meal. Yesterday the Empress of all the Russias was welcomed back to St Petersburg,377there was a grand service performed at the Kasan church at which all the Imperial family were present crimson cloth spread on the pavement for the beloved Empress to walk from her equipage to the church, crowds waited to see her features once more both at the church door & Palace.378 Last night the illumination which my boys have been so eagerly expecting took place, I stationed myself beside baby to let Mary & Dounia each witness what young people like, the glare, & was so interested in writing to America while Johnie slept that ten oclock surprised me, it was half after when Mary brought Willie to undress him, but James expressed such an eager desire that I should allow him to be my escort just to take a peep up the Nevski that I could not deny him. The effect of the lights from Vasili Ostrow was very beautiful, as we drove along the Quai & the flowers & decorations of large mansions close to ours I thought more tasteful than those in the Nevski. We had to fall into the line of carriages in the Isaacs square to enter that broadway & just then the shout from the populace (so unusual in this city) announced to us that the Empress was passing. the cloudy evening was not so favorable for seeing her face, as it was for the illumination, but no mistaking that there was her very Imperial self from the two Cossacks as footmen, as none but the Empress boasts of those proud attendants,379 her guards also were in the rear. thus the Empress was going home to the Winter Palace just as we were beginning our dissipation. but there was no possibility of getting out of the line, gen d’armes stationed thro the middle of the Nevski, prevented any disorder, tho I was terrified lest the poles from the coaches should run into our backs, or that some horse might take fright, or bite us so close were their heads. Jemie laughed heartily & aloud at my timidity, he behaved like a man, with one arm he gaurded me & with the other kept the animals at a proper distance. I must confess, brilliant tho the spectacle was my great pleasure was derived from the conduct of my dear & manly boy.380 he was not the least sleepy when we reached home at one oclock in the morning, tho I had nodded more than once. I can just recollect my pleasure when a child of ten years viewing the illumination in the city of N York when peace between my country & Gt Britian was announced381 & this is the only one I have seen to compare yet with that, for usually in St Petersburg the illuminations attend every marriage & christening in the Imperial family, it is merely the name, for cups of oil on the pavement scattered at distances & even that miserable attempt is early extinguished, but on this occasion of the Empre’ss return, the initials of her own & the Emperors blazed forth with crowns, wreaths &c382

July 7ƫ our style tho only 25th of June Russian. This is the Emperors fifieth anniversary! & today is also the day of his daughter the Grand duchess Olgar’s betrothal383 to the Prince of Wurtemberg, the court are all at Peterhoff & thousands have resorted thither to see the illumination which is to be celebrated in the Imperial gardens tonight. A salute of 30 cannons will be fired here in the city, at the hour of the exchange of the rings, the Empress passes them from the one to the other, & the Telegraph384 conveys notice always, every five minutes of every incident between this city & such neighbouring residences of the Imperial family. Crowds of people have been flocking since early this morning by the Steamers to Peterhoff, yesterday on our return from Mr Gellibrands Datcha where we spent a delightful day, we met equipages without number thronging thither, many of them court carriages from the scarlet liveries we knew, & some few of the Corp Diplomatique by the green feather in the cocked hat, loads of chairs, mattres’s & such kinds of conveniences, besides one or two fire companies with hose, for watering the gardens. We wished they could have laid the dust of the Chauseé, for notwithstanding all the rains - which continued every day until last Saturday385 - the Peterhoff road is such a highway for troops & travellers it is seldom free from clouds of dust. Our friends the Gellibrands are charmingly situated, upon an estate386 with several others, their house stands upon elevated ground far back from the road, from the front balconies the view of Gulf & of this city in the distance is fine, we saw the gilded dome of the Isaacs church glittering in the bright sunshine. My two boys found much amusement in propelling themselves on the draw bridge to & from the fancy island in the pond, then they bounded after butterflies among the wild flowers, feeling it such a treat to be free in the country! darling Johnie also was as gay as a bird & won much admiration upon his intelligence & sweetness, contrasted by Willie Ropes my baby indeed looks like the country child & that little pale faced one as though he had been shut up in town, the three little girls have much benefitted by their range at their kind Aunts who told me the only alloy to their perfect enjoyment was, there was a parting in early prospect, for Mrs R387 must soon take her children to England! thus it is in this world we must ever have something to sigh for. I told my boys as we seated ourselves at tea in our own home last night I thought they had not even enjoyed the commemoration of our 4ƫ of July last Saturday as much as their country range. but they would not admit that any place in Russia was as pleasant as Alexandrofski with all the Eastwick boys to play with! then the percussion caps, fire works, cross bows & muskets, the rides on horse back &c yeilded so much excitement & variety! Willie forgot how sadly he burnt his hand & came home roaring with agony & tho to me no drive is so disagreable as that to Alexandrofsky, thronged as the road is with beggers & drunkards, and the village has no sweet secluded spot but the little garden enclosing our countrymens home, I can imagine my boys see none of the annoyances, for they anticipate the warm welcome of youthful Americans & the kind indulgence of their parents in lending horses & grooms to secure them a safe & healthful pastime. I have so long neglected my journal that I have yet to record the introduction we have had within the past fortnight388 to American clergymen,389 accompanied by a young lawyer named Beach from Newark New Jersey.390 knowing my friends there is has been very delightful to entertain them all.391 the younger of the divines Mr Rankin392 I have not yet heard preach but hope to when the return from Moscow, they have been obliged to leave behind one of their party (Rev Robt Baird393 who has been so ill from Rheumatism since arriving here, he has been secluded,394 but it is a cause of thankfulness he is with kind Mrs Wilson who keeps an English boarding house in the Galernia395 very near us, this clergyman from having visited St P years before is not as a stranger,396 I hope to see this countryman who as advocate in the Temperance cause has had interviews with several of the crowned heads of Europe.397 I felt it to be a high privilige to hear Mr Brinsmade398 both morning & afternoon of the sunday before last. I was in a pew with eleven Americans at the American Chapel in this city in the morning & took my boys to Alexandrofski where “an upper chamber” is consecrated at the American works, to divine worship,399 it was so entirely filled that even the window sills were in requisition as seats. Mr B took his text from the beautiful book of Daniel 5th chap & latter part of the 23rd verse,400 I felt the subject to be well chosen. for how few of us remember to glorify the Lord our God in our several stations. the solemn, kind manner of the preacher made his solemn subject very impressive, he discoursed upon the invisible hand which had led us so far from our native land & prayed for the aid of the Holy Spirit to sustain us in shewing forth true religion in our intercourse with foreigners. I lost none of the high respect which Mr B had won from me in the pulpit when he came with Mr Rankin & Beach to dine in our family circle last tuesday,401 the blessing he asked upon our meal was in the same strain, realizing the providence which had brought us, strangers in a foreign land to the same board! How good for us it is to be reminded to trace every event to our Heavenly Fathers direction! I hope to be strengthened by the pious counsel of these my countrymen by going to hear them again tho I seldom desert my own church even to attend the American Chapel. unless it be to contribute my mite to a missionary collection, for in the English chapel we never hear of Missions, for our benevolent pastor doct Law is restrained by the Factory402 - who maintain this branch of their countrys establishment & he has been governed by them 25 years. but as far as his own exertions extend he goes about doing good. what a deplorable loss, neither sunday school, bible class, or missionary society connected with our church here! I must think the Dissenting congregation of the American chapel true followers of Christ for they are zealous in the cause of spreading the gospel, why should we deem ourselves only, of the true faith, I shall never forsake the beautiful forms of the Episcopal, with its perfect prayer book yet I cannot be so bigotted as to think the service of other sincere christians less acceptable to the Saviour, merely because their order is not that I have been educated to like best. But now I think I ought to commence a reply to letters from my dear Debo which we received by yesterdays403 mail that mine may be ready for next Sat404 - Courier, she was at Blackpool, with our sweet young friend Eliza Smith,405 I half hope Mrs Harrison may join them in sea bathing, but she was ill in London lodgings by the same date, the physician says it is only debility, when she can gain an appetite she will regain her strength, I shall cheer her by the pleasant reports I can send of her home & infant my God daughter as I have fulfilled my promise of going often to Alexandrofski to see the little Alicia. Debo will be interested to hear what is circulated about preparations for the approaching wedding of the Gd Duchess Olga. I have happened at Francescas406 to see some of the bridal paraphanalia & heard from her that on the 28ƫ old style which will be next Friday all her outfit will be exhibited at the Palace at Peterhoff, her jewels, clothing, furniture, even to kitchen utensils–407 I am afraid I shall not see it, as 30 versts is a long way to go for a peep. I lately saw at Francescas an infants wardrobe for a lady at court, from its Valenciennes christening cap, its embroidered french cambric robe lined with pink satin, to its dozen Paadooshkas408 - or long wadded pillow upon which it is carried - its pillow cases all of french worked cambric, & the one upon which it is to be carried to the font very rich & lined with pink satin. The Héritier is to be its God father as the father of the yet unborn babe is one of his aids.409 The whole is to cost 3000 silver rubles, I had not the slightest wish for one article, & my Willie who was with me seemed to think the baby could not be lovelier than his little brother, who is always in simple white frocks, but the order for all this from the rich, is a benefit to the poor who must thus earn their bread & I rejoiced for the amiable Francisca, who politely asked if my little commission for Mrs Eastwick could wait till after the Imperial wedding- “we are so busy for our Grand Duchess” she said. This girl is a perfect lady in her address & deportment, she has been well educated by her Aunt to whom I was recommended by dear old Mrs Leon – she speaks English elegantly & therefore I must believe she is as well versed in French. Russ & German as she is familiar with all. What an advantage, I could almost envy her. We have been favored lately with many letters from the United States, bringing relief to our anxieties respecting the war with Mexico, from Gen Taylors410 victories. I gladly welcomed a letter from my friend Meg Hill,411 which was commenced last November & finished in May, she has the faculty of transporting me to the midst of her family circle & regales me with reports of others My former & very favorite pastor Mr Lee of Springfield was in the city of N York upon the occasion of the consecration of “old mother Trinity”412 And Mr Ballard413 of Pittsfield whose sympathy upon the death of my sainted little Kirkie has made any association of his name interesting. Oh only those so far from their native land as I am, can judge how welcome the sound of familiar names in scenes from home. My beloved mother was still in Florida, when I heard from my Sister Kate in Stonington.414

Tuesday July 2nd/14ƫ415 Several anniversaries in my own family circle the last week gave me occasions for deep but silent reflection. the public rejoicings on the occasions of the Grand Duchess Olga have demanded my participating in my childrens interest in the several spectacles. It is a week today since the Betrothal,416 at Peterhoff, it is said some superstitious fear made the fair fiancée object to the ceremonies being solemnized in the chapel of the Winter Palace, the associations of her Sisters nuptials, & death following within the same year are too sad, for this happy occassion. they do say she shed many tears at her betrothal at the thought of how soon she must be separated by it, from the Empress & all which the spring time of life has endeared to her. The affection throughout the family circle of the Emperor is well attested. Still as Olga is fond of the Prince of Wurtemberg–who is her Cousin as well as lover, it is said her Imperial parents are well satisfied to establish her thus417 & if rumour whispers truly she may soon be crowned queen, as the father of her lover is talked of as being on his death bed.418 Since our arrival in Russia the annual fête in honor of the Empress names day has been omitted, therefore this had a higher zest & was selected also as the wedding day of the beautiful Grand Duchess Olga.419 With the exception of Mr Clay our Chargé probably no American was witness to the ceremony in the chapel except the Revd Robt Baird, whom the Prince of Oldenburg had invited to his palace in his zeal for the Temperance cause & complimented him by providing a place for him to witness the Imperial marriage.420 while we Whistlers accompanied by our new acquaintances from New York the Crufts,421 with the Harrisons & Eastwick families were jostled about in the crowd. tho the thousands there were as we have always observed in Russia extremely decorous & quiet. it was computed at least 200.000 people were in the garden last night, & from the throng on board the Steam boats422 from early in the morning that calculation must have been within bounds. Whistler was afraid to risk his precious cargo among them & decided to hire a carriage & four, which I grieved to have to pay 24 silver rubs for one night, however we we423 thought to be fortunate to get any, as almost every vehicle had been engaged & many had pd 30 & 35 silv rubs the road was not dusty, for showers have been incessant. The Gd Duchess may argue favorably from the “remarkable coincidence”424 that the only two bright days we have had this month past, were last tuesday her betrothal – & yesterday. We thought last night the moonlight not too light for the illumination, so many trees, some in dense avenues covered with lamps, the green foliage contrasted beautifully with their brilliancy. I wish I could convey the faintest idea even of the magnificence of the spectacle, it was truly Imperial. it is said the Emperor has appropriated an additional 20.000 silv rubles to the cost allotted to illumination other years, & this has been the first time the upper garden425 - close to the Palace & fronting it - has been lighted, at the entrance gate from the town was a crown & under it very conspicuous O.K. for Olga & Karl, & the gate looked as if composed of diamonds. but all the rest of the upper garden had coloured lamps in the shape of fruits & flowers, bands of musicians were stationed in the groves & played alternately. The lower garden which is very extensive even to the Gulf - is descended to by a long flight of steps. the fountains rival those at Versailles, a golden Statue of Sampson which is placed where the largest body of water is played is worthy of its celebrity, the young New Yorkers of our party were glad to have their curiosity gratified by seeing the Sampson they had heard lately so much of: lines of illuminated wall looking like filagree work of gold & diamonds (for in the lower garden were no colored lamps) formed avenues extending in different directions thro, the principal one from the palace had at the end near the gulf, what looked like an immense gate of brilliants, surmounted by a blazing sun the rays of which enclosed an A for Alexandra in honor to the adored Empress. It was expected the Imperial family & court would have passed thro the illuminated avenues in open cars - similar to Irish cars426 in form - as is usual on the Empres’s day to gratify the Mobility,427 who like to see them in all their magnificence but we learned that they had about 7 oclock left the Palace with new married pair to seek the quiet of a more retired dwelling. I commended them for their feeling. & were I one of the Grand Duchess Olgas train should pray she might retain such habits & ever be indulged in them. The Imperial family left ladies & gents of the Court to represent them in the ball room & in the balconies. I saw some sign of merriment as tho the fancied the vulgar crowd hoaxed, & soon as possible we extricated ourselves for a purer atmosphere. I had shuddered to find the coarse beard of a Mujic428 close to my cheek & his breath of leeks & vod-kee almost made me sick. but every variety mingled in that crowd, ladies in the most costly dresses of satin, gauze & silver, were contrasted by the odd home spun finery of Fin peasant-girls - very like our native Indians. And sheep skin coats no matter how old or greasy rubbed against gold lace in regimentals without fear, for on these occasions of fêtes the poorest subjects of the Emperor forget the shackles & revel with perfect freedom. Refreshments to suit all grades were to be obtained throughout the grounds, Mujics would meet us offering their “Harosky”429 drinks & eatables, but we killed two birds with one stone by seeking Islers430 tent for tea, as Mr Eastwick had promised to meet us there with our boys, our party was rather numerous we were continually getting separated by the crowd, it reminded me of the story of Jack & his eleven brothers,431 for we had each to compare notes of adventures when we met at the OK which was always our trysting if an hour kept us asunder & there we were sure always to find our faithful footman Yohon, he would make a circuit & come back for orders to the point true to Whistlers appointment. My regret is that our good Mary who merits every indulgence cannot find a suitable escort to go one of these three nights to Peterhoff. I should far rather have had her take my place in the carriage & I keep her station at home beside my darling baby, but Mrs Crufts & her Sisters432 I had promised to be with, besides my boys are now too large to be tied to Marys side & she would have felt awkward unless as their attendant. James has begged me hard to let him be Marys escort tonight but 30 versts off is a great distance & we cannot trust Mary to those boats where the multitude seem to tempt God by their reckless carelessness about life. Perhaps another year Mary may go to a Peterhoff fête, even Christina & Dounia have been prudent enough to yeild to the unpropitious weather & stay at home, tho I had given them leave to go. Mary & baby were sent off early yesterday to Gellibrands datcha where they had a charming country range with Hannah433 & the children of dear Mrs Ropes. we stopped there as it is half way on the road to Peterhoff & took coffee with our friends. it seemed such an age to be separated from baby since the morning, it was delightful to see the darling so happy & behaving so admirably. he was in his own nursery again by seven & when we returned from the fête at 3 oclock he had only awakened once. I nursed & put him back in his crib, ere I realized how weary of the nights dissipation I felt.

Monday 27ƫ of July434 We have had a continuance of sultry weather since this month came in, yet my dear James caught cold from the dews at the Peterhoff fête, lassitude, loss of appetite were the symptoms & such an inflamed throat, leeches were applied & consequent confinement to his room. Mons Lamartine who is always hypocondrical, chose that week to be too ill to teach tho he came to his meals & I observed no strong tests of his feeling sick, still as vacations are general now, Whistler decided that our lazy Domini should be free & I have had my boys so entirely upon my hands as to find little leisure. Our drawing room & my chamber also upon the quai - for I have been obliged to move again to it for babys sake the noise in the yard having disturbed his slumbers - we spend our mornings in reading drawing &c, then the boys take their row under Yohons wing across the Neva to the swimming bath,435 & in the cool of the afternoon a drive to the Islands or a range in the Summer gardens, or a row on the river. It is an imperious duty that I should go with them, as the season for freedom in the open air is so precious. We went last Wednesday436 15 versts in all the heat & dust, for the after recompense of spending the day at the kind Gellibrands datcha. I soon lost all traces of having passed thro the furnace when seated beside dear Mrs G in her deliciously cool parlor but my boys could not bear the confinement, the boat & the drawbridge & the Island below the lawn looked too tempting. MƤ Ropes beguiled them just before dinner to join us by teaching them the moves of chess, but Willie deserted & upon our being seated at table I was mortified that Mrs G should wait so long in vain for him to be present at the asking a blessing upon the bounties spread. he was led in my the footman who had been sent to look for him & he looked heated as any Pyrisvostic,437 from the like occupation, rowing. Oh my boys when will you acquire a taste for playing gentlemen! While my kind hostess & I were chatting over our coffee in the balcony we observed much excitement at the theatre of their mornings disgrace & my wild boys were again in difficulty. I took the baby & sent Mary to join the party of MrsRopes & her children to look after James & Willie. they had broken the ropes by which the drawbridge was drawn to & from the Island & there were my brave boys prisoners. I thought it best they should remain so till time for me to return home with such unruly ones, but the good natured Dvanic was already pressed into their service and swimming to their rescue ere I could run down to offer my advice. Jemie was so drenched with perspiration from his efforts, that dear Mrs Ropes stole him away to her room to coax him to lie down awhile & to rub him dry lest his sore throat should return to tell a tale of disobedience at home. Our Coachman had betaken himself to a rest in the woods & was not to be found when I sent at 7 oclock to order the carriage, so Mary had a cozey tea with Hannah, and the gents reached home from the city & we were so urged to tea & strawberries that I yeilded, as Mr R assured me I should not find my husband at home. And sure enough he did not get back from Alexandrofski till all but myself had gone to rest. He reported the heat overpowering in town & at the works, and we had escaped it by going to the country. Certainly if the reign of Summer was not so brief one would be wrong to stay in town. Last thursday there was a grand celebration of the Grand duchess Olgas birth day at the Alargon.438 I gladly gave Mary permission to take the modest Francesca in our carriage with herself & the boys. while I staid at home to be devoted to baby. We had had many showers during the day & much dread there was that fire works would be “no go” & they proved not so fine in consequence of the damp atmosphere. Whistler had decided to stay with me, but officers came from Col K439 urging him to avail of a government barge with its many oars. I had the honor of making tea for them & as all the maids had gone, Yohon played nurse after he had arranged the table for me to preside. It was one oclock when my husband return, to congratulate me that I had not been exposed to the risk of drowning from the crowd of boats upon the Little Neva,440 he was heartily tired & wondered how he could have been so caught, we were both anxious till the boys & Mary arrived, she said she should never ask to go in another crowd! when for an hour they had alighted to obtain on foot a better view of the fire works than they could in the carriage, gay officers had annoyed herself & Francesca, & my innocent Mary concluded they could not be gentlemen of principle! James had protected them as well as he was able, but she had felt frightened & was so glad to get safe home! tho they had seen all the Imperial family within arms length, as they stood near the Palace, while the Emperor, Empress &c alighted from their pony chaises to enter it. the young Prince Oscar of Sweden441 a handsome youth of 18 was among the court. and many other foreigners who were wedding guests. This morning while my boys were taking their walk before breakfast with Mary & baby they saw some tokens of another grand illumination to take place this week at Peterhoff, a government steamer laden with devices, lamps &c, tempted them to ask the Bootishnic,442 who reported it was to be in honor of the Prince of Wurtembergs birth day!443 but I will not be coaxed into countenancing any more folly, my boys have seen enough & must be content now to take amusement by daylight. I know it cannot be safe for our immortal interests that time & mind should be so wasted that the order of nature should be so altered. turning night into day & day into night, my boys did not take their breakfast till noon on friday!444 this is surely not keeping the straight & narrow way”445 On Saturday446 as I was striving to make up for all the irregularities of last week - for I have not recorded my day spent in change of apartments, nor the guests I had to entertain at dinner & tea several times - I was at the end of the week trembling lest my letters to my dear Mother & Maria should not be finished for Sat. mail, when Dounia summoned me to the drawing room to welcome Miss McMaster447 who is so deserving of attention, that I would not let her know. how mal apros pos was her visit, iced mead refreshed her, but I trust it was not so prized by her as my cordial welcome, & she soon made herself so much at home, that I gave her Sandlands poems448 to read while I scribbled thro my oft before interrupted scrawls & trust they will be received before this day next month by the two dearest to me in New York. Miss Mc M talked playfully with James about his better application to study & greater perseverance in cultivating his talent for drawing & I trust her serious advice covered so charmingly by good-humour may be remembered by him, she invited us all to Mr Woods datcha for next Wednesday449 James & Willie always enjoy visiting her pupils & I am particularly fond of the society of the excellent governess. Mr Wood called for her at 3 oclock, she had come to town to bid Mrs Wm Handisides450 farewell, upon her embarking for a home in Scotland this day.451 Mrs Wood being in England, Miss M rarely comes to town. But I saw her at church yesterday between Kate & Ellen,452 the weather had been so excessively hot that baby confined to the house by it lost his appetite so I thought it would not be breaking the Sabbath at 7 in the evening to take Mary & the three a row up to the old Fortress,453 we landed & went into the church for the double purpose of giving our oarsman time to rest & that we might visit the tombs of the Emperors of Russia the Fortress bears the date of the age of improvement in this Empire for Peter the Gt was its founder. 1780. of course it is not old looking, fresh & in perfect repair. many were visiting the church as ourselves. service was over as the Greeks begin at 6 oclock sat evening. We slipped a ten kopeck coin into the palm of the soldier, who gave us each a flower, from the fresh garlands daily strewn upon the coffin of the loved Grand Duchess Alexandra, two other coffins covered with velvet palls (as are all indeed in the church) within the railings appropriated to the present Emperors family shew that he had lost a young daughter & a son454 ere the bereavement of that young bride of 18, the summer before last. Our guide lifted the velvet pall from the coffin of the late Emperor Alexander to shew us the jewelled Orders & how highly it was ornamented, as a specimen for all the others, for when we came to that of Peter the Gt & Catherine the 2Ơ he told us it was the same. That of the Gd Duke Constantine (who ought to have been Emperor by right in place of this his brother now reigning over all the Russias)455 displayed two keys taken by him from Fortresses in the conquest of Poland.456 I will not note all my reflections upon the vanity of earthly greatness they would occur to any one who views this world as only a state of preparation for another. self conquests only, are of enduring benefit, but one cannot help moralizing in contrasting the splendor of the court of Russia with the silent sepulchre of its Emperors. We enjoyed our quiet row home at sun set 9 oclock And now I have endeavoured to begin this week by redeeming the time lost the last, I arose at 6. after my toilette took “The poor mans morning portion”457 & my bible to the balcony as the only quiet & cool retreat. Yohon was busy preparing breakfast in the Stolola.458 waxers were cleaning the parquet of the drawing room. & Whistler dressing in ours. One of my greatest privations in Russia is a closet for private devotion. I could envy those who have a chapel attached to their dwelling. But my heavenly Father ordained my sojourning in this land where display seems most thought of & therefore no arrangement for privacy. & he reads my hearty desires & I trust will accept them, continue & enlarge them that I may avail of every opportunity for communion with my Saviour. Since breakfast & my attention to household duties my James drawing table has been next my writing desk & he hard working to finish a dog before twelve. when Koritsky459 came & condemned it. Willie has been studying John Gilpin460 to spout to Father who wishes to hear him speak his own language distinctly. A letter from our dearest Debo461 just received, tells of her pleasant meeting with her cousin Mary Ironsides in Liverpool, & brings us chagrin also because Kate Prince cannot come home when Debo does.

August 12/24ƫ Monday. It is about a week now since my dear Whistler set out with Count Klienmichel462 to inspect the work on his rail road & I have occupied myself so regularly about house hold affairs in the mornings & have devoted my afternoons to taking excursions with my boys to reward them for their application to study, that my journal has been quite forgotten. We went to pass Saturday & Sunday at the Gellibrand Datcha last friday afternoon463 & returned home to an 8 oclock breakfast today it is quite an era in my St Petersburg life, as I never slept from home before & ere I begin my routine of duties, I will try to record the few vanities of the past month. We have had the hottest summer ever known in Russia,464 -& as in England- some violent thunder storms, I am sure we shall not soon forget the awful appearance of the sky last evening. kind Miss Funk465 who now presides at the datcha (Mrs G having gone to Travemunde for her health) made the tea, but she felt as we did, while the elements raged that it was as if God spoke to us & that a sensation of awe would prevent our enjoyment of the repast. how unconsciously darling little Johnie played & laughed thro it all & at last fell asleep while Mary & I sat watching the storm, looking to God for preservation & carressing our little pet to divert poor Pheodocias466 fears. The poor Russians are superstitious they cannot feel that security in calling upon their Saints while crossing themselves, which prayer & trust in Jesus inspires the bible christian with. It is only for our Redeemers sake we are spared to repentance. we feel as if there was but one step indeed between us and death, in a violent thunder storm! That of yesterday changed the state of the atmosphere From 24 deg heat in the shade Rom - today the thermometer is 13. I was uneasy lest James should catch cold during our drive before breakfast, but he & Willie drove Mr Princes droshky by turns & the excitement kept him warm. I shall always retain a sweet impression of this Sabbath in the country however. the showers we had very early in the morning were immediately absorbed by the bright sun & the young folks took a stroll after breakfast then came in to study hymns & Collects467 until eleven oclock when our neighbours from the Parsonage,468 & an English governess in a Russian family469 gladly joined us in our private worship.470 the prayers of our church were selected, two beautiful hymns & a Sermons of Blunts “The Lord is my shepherd” was read by Mr Prince. The children begged to be permitted a free range thro the woods before dinner & under the care of Sarah Meeiriellees & the neice of our pastors wife471 we entrusted the two little Handiside girls & my boys. Miss Funk & I walked across to the next estate where Mrs Ellerby has a summer retreat, we saw her three darling little girls, the baby about the age of mine is beautiful, as they are all lately returned from a visit to England472 they are pictures of health, their mother is just what a clergymans wife should be, so interested in the spread of the gospel, so good to the poor, so cheerful, & so accessible. I had a most interesting conversation with her about the state of religion in her native land & such an interesting account of a converted Jew she had seen at South port.473 Of course Mr Ellerby was in town at his chapel, but to return this day to their sweet retreat for the week. We had again service in the afternoon which MƧE attended. she had staid away to let her English nurse474 have the privilige in the morning. Miss Funk & I had just returned from visiting a poor German man475 in the last stage of consumption. I thought of him during the storm when his shed could not have sheltered him from the torrent of rain, his bed only a bundle of hay! Oh that God may be leading him thro illness & privation to a house not made with hands! he seemed so patient, so uncomplaining, so different from a common pauper, for when we gave him money, he discovered so much emotion & apologized as the tears ran down his face for his necessities, I sent my boys on our return to see him, wishing them to take a lesson in contentment by comparing their lot with his, & Miss Funk wished that fruit & jelly should go, so they could present it, as the Dvanic spoke only Russ.

It was last tuesday morning476 early my husband left home, in the afternoon I told James & Willie they might go in the Omnibus477 to Alexandrofsky to spend a few hours & I should follow with Mary & baby en droshky. the heat was intense, they had already gone to swim, when we arrived at Mr Eastwicks & afterwards rode on Winans ponies, as all their countrymen were off on excursions. for it was a great holiday, tho we were not the least aware of its being the fête or day for blessing the Apples478 until we encountered crowds of idlers & I am grieved to add, not a few so intoxicated that their boon companions were carrying them, or they were like swine wallowing along the road side, I wonder when I witness so much intemperance upon these church holidays, how the powers that be, can approve of them. but alas vodkee is so profitable for the revenue, they cannot yeild their gain for the cause of temperance. I wonder what report my countryman Robt Baird will make at the Temperance society meeting in London479 as to Russia! he has only lately gone from this city to that. I must not omit the record of Miss Caroline Laws marriage to Mr Richd Miller,480 it took place last monday at the church 7 oclock p.m. Willie watched the carriages from our balcony as they collected on the quai & was half tempted to run down & make a friend of the Sexton that he might witness the ceremony, but could not induce Jemie to accompany him. the next day481 a huge slice of wedding cake was sent me with Mr Millers card. I shall not open it till Debo comes, as she would have been brides-maid had she been here. The young couple met me the next evening482 as I was leaving the Cars at Tsarskoe Selo with James & Willie, our friend Geo Prince our guide upon our expedition to the Palace. We afterwards heard that the bride & groom thus escaped attending a ball given at Doct Laws datcha, by going quietly by themselves to listen to the music in the gardens at Pavloski. We only said how dye do to them for our time was limited from four oclock until tea time, it is not possible to convey an idea to any one in a republican country of the neatness & order & quiet in the little town of Tsarskoe. from the depot, thro the town up to the Imperial Parks nothing seems out of place, peasants are continually sweeping, weeding, watering even the roads & in the parks even the faded leaves if within reach are carefully removed. As we had on former visits gone thro the Catherine Palace built by the consort of Peter the GƮ which like all her works is rich in gilding, & ornament,483 we chose the other end of the grounds & alighted from our Droshkys at the gate nearest the new Palace,484 which the present Emperor resides in when there, tho since the death of his daughter the bride of the Prince Hesse Castle of Denmark, summer before last, his family have only occasionally visited this once favorite retreat, the soldier told us the Emperor oftenest is there, the Empres’s grief is revived by scenes where he loved daughter’s life ebbed away, yet she has been twice to gaze on the beautiful Statue of Alexandra with her newborn infant in her arms. it is of pure white marble, the figure is full length, the countenance preserves the likeness to the lovely face, we were told this “Parmetnic” or, remembrancer, was taken from that of the Princess Charlotte of Wales at Windsor. wrapped in a sheet, it looks like a blessed spirit ready to join those who walk in white around the throne of the Lamb. “Thy will be done” is the motto in Sclavonin above the statue, & on each side of the richly sculptored arch are tablets with verses from the Gospel, “Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted” &c. there is a pavement of black marble enclosed by a slight black railing the gate of which was locked, & the most choice exotics as if growing out of the black marble wall which supports the railing, a pale lilac lilly which grows in rich clusters, & which I never saw before, roses & other flowers in full bloom, the pots were embedded in the stone & mosses hid them completely.485 I thought the motto we read under a simple portrait of the loved daughter (in a Swiss Cottage486 which is in the same bower of dark ever greens as the Statue) how verified by all the care & taste bestowed by the Emperor. it is in french & thus I translate it “I know Father you are never so pleased as when you can make pleasure for Mama” the picture looked as if it had been taken when the Grand duchess was in joyous girlhood. On this spot where this cottage (furnished à la Swiss is built) she used to stand at the head of the artificial lake to feed the Swans. she continued to do so the soldier told us even the last Summer of her life until she became too ill to go out. I admired the taste which had lilies of the valley planted in circles around the evergreens on this hallowed spot, it is hid from public view so that if any of the Imperial family are there at any time none can intrude to gaze. yet when they are not there, visiters are made welcome. We found no hesitation when we reached the palace to being admitted there by the officer in waiting & were immediately taken to the Empre’ss apartments, the lamented daughter occupied those between her parents, & the space which contained the bed she died upon has been converted into a sanctum for private devotion,487 it has been enclosed by a wall which is beautifully painted & on the side where stood the head of the bed is the picture painted by Bruloff, so like her in life & health, tho taken after death as representing her spirit passing upwards to the “palace above the blue sky.” she wears her imperial robes with a crown upon her head, at the back of the crown is a halo of glory. the stars are surrounding her as she passes thro them. No wonder my Jemie should have thought this picture of Bruloffs the most interesting of all the works of art around us. A most magnificent candle stick of gold with wreaths of wrought silver vines covering. stands in front of the portrait that a perpetual light may be burning as before the picture of saints in the Greek church, & on each side of the portrait are pictures, of the Saviour, the Madona & Saints. a most splendid tiara of real diamonds encircle the head of the Virgin & child. I felt sadness as I realized the danger there was for the bereaved Empress to make an idol of the picture of her daughter, whom she fondly expects to meet on the right hand of the Eternal throne. Oh that she may search the scriptures, that she may be taught to discriminate between the true faith & the poetry of religion. Every one loved the gentle Grand duchess. for she was gentle & kind to every one & the interest in all that relates to her is universal, it pervades all ranks.488

Saturday. Aug 29ƫ I did not forget thursday489 it was the anniversary on the birth of our angel Charlie and today is that of my darling little Johnie, he completes his first year today & my heart is overflowing with thankfulness to the Giver. I can reflect upon the gentleness & intelligence of the former who was taken almost three years ago from my arms to those of his Saviour, and the sprightliness of this one who has been sent to cheer me for that loss is a delight to the whole house. he does not walk alone quite, but attempts words, “that “dont “taa-taa “Mama &c & some of the garments our more fragile Charlie wore when he was two years old, fit Johnie now.

Saturday Sept 12ƫ My dear Whistler came home within three weeks,490 he had been detained five days at a wayside village hourly waiting the Count, who travelling in a state carriage met with many obstructions, this was very trying to an Engineer, but mine is not unreasonable & was too happy to find us all well at last & to be restored to us in better health himself than when he left, to fret over lost time. he must soon leave us again to go to Hamburg to meet & bring home our darling Debo. May God bless the undertaking! We have received several reports491 of her enjoyment in her trip to Scotland, present at the grand ceremony of the dedication of Sir Walter Scotts monument in the Prince’s St Gardens Edinburgh,492 spent a day on Loch Lomond493 with such rapture she only wanted us all around her to make it complete. she was enjoying the society of our friend Kate Prince when she last wrote, anticipating the meeting her father & travelling home after her years absence. My trembling heart faints at the bare idea of the storms she may encounter in crossing the North Sea! for now our bright Summer has given place to Autumn & a strong westerly wind ruffles the Neva & sounds stormy. In God is my trust! what else could comfort in doubt & suspence. such as mine now, for yesterdays494 mail brought us letters from our native land & the reports of my loved Sister Marias health very alarming, she was going to the Springs & how eager I feel for fresh accounts! that dear, gentle, Sister! my heart aches at the possibility of never seeing her more in this world!495 Oh it is selfish, sinful in me, to wish to detain her in this world of sorrow, when God says “it is Enough.” & when so many mutually dear to us, wait to bear her to her eternal home where all tears are wiped away & joys which the heart of man cannot dream of are in store for her, thro much tribulation indeed this gentle Sister has long been preparing for Heaven & her example of submission & cheerfulness are proofs of the comfort we all may have if we thus trust in Jesus. God has removed me far from her sick couch, but distance cannot divide my heart from hers! we were wont to have but one mind & I feel the joy of grief in thinking of her! if we are not to meet again in this world, may my chief concern be to prepare to meet her around the Throne of the Redeemer. My Mother sends me the painful intelligence of my cousin A McD having been killed in a duel!496 I shudder to think of a soul rushing thus into the presence of its Maker! nothing in my opinion can excuse the accepting a challenge. the truly courageous will brave the worlds frown & be undaunted by it. I pray that my James may never encourage notions of false honor or courage,497 but that he may fear Gods frown & remember his life is not his own; “we are bought with a price”498 & this world is only a school, the daily accidents as they are styled are all appointed to test our principles. “If you love Me keep my commandments”499 said He who best knows the value of the immortal part of our being.

Some of my friends in Stonington have been called to mourn the loss of children this Summer. May they be comforted by their loneliness in this life assuring them they are “not lost but gone before.”500 Parthinia Babcocks lovely little girl501 was removed by an illness of 24 hours. Of such, surely is the kingdom of Heaven”502 & in Gods own time the bereaved young Mother will rejoice that, one of her little ones has escaped the temptations of this uncertain state of existence. It is indeed good for us to be afflicted! I must not omit recording the speedy removal of the poor German503 whom I went with Miss Funk to visit in his miserable shed the memorable sunday of the thunder storm. he died the next friday. that pious lady several times stood at his bedside comforting him with words from the book of life & had the proof that he too had searched it from his taking up & finishing many verses she commenced. she attended his funeral taking the little girls with her to his grave. I spent last Saturday504 at the Gellibrand datcha again, but returned home to tea as Whistler & Jemie were not of our party to the country, they went to Alexandrofsky. Col Melnikoff having been their guest at dinner. We enjoyed the fine weather. it was indeed propitious as there was a Russian fête given by Count Cooshiloff505 to his peasantry & being only a short & very shady walk we all went. the Mansion is beyond the beautiful dairy which belongs to his estate, all this property is improved & we rejoiced to see the peasants (whose labour keeps it in such high cultivation, in their holiday suits filling two long tables on the lawn, which was soon covered with basons of excellent soup. with a portion of brown & also white bread to each, huge fish pies garnished the board, and a band of music stationed near increased their enjoyment. I wish it had been a Temperance feast. but it was just the opposite, first beer was handed in buckets, & at last vodkee without water was passed about in tumblers I observed even pretty, young girls drank freely, to say nought of their mothers & grand Sires. We had gone behind the scenes to peep at the soup making out in the open air in great iron cauldrons it amused us neat housekeepers to watch the rough manners of the mujics who ladled out the portions, having chopped the boiled beef first on the boards, spoon it up with their palms to give each bowl its proportion of solid food. When their stomachs were filled the peasants were sounded to leave the long tables - squads of beggars were waiting to gather up the fragments that remained for they are in attendance at every public fête from the Saints day down - Music sounded at the other front of the Lordly mansion & we followed to see what next, the peasantry had already filled the beautiful lawn at the foot of which is an artificial lake just on the margin of which were erected two very tall poles not only barked, but soaped, to be as slippery as possible at the top of each a suit of new clothes, belt, hat & all even to boots. & many were the competitors in climbing for such a prize. It was really quite exciting, my Willies attention could not be diverted even by the Juggler on the Lawn, or Punch & Judy, or the Cosmorama, how relieved we all were when the two lucky lads at last succeeded in reaching the top of the poles & bore off their prizes, they were soon dressed & went in triumph to the Balcony where the Count & Countess506 were surrounded by gay ladies & officers. the peasant knelt at the Countess feet & kissed her hands. we could not hear the speeches, but saw her bend to kiss his brow. We had pointed out to us the very fair young sister of the countess507 & the tall officer by her side proved to be the young Count Strogonoff, whose kindness to our boys on our voyage across the Baltic has rendered his name interesting to us. he is the betrothed of this heiress. her fathers beautiful seat508 is not five minutes row off from the scene we were up. just across the little lake. Showers of sugur plums, nuts &c kept the children of the peasantry near the balcony. I watched the Count fill the tiny palms of a sweet little girl beside the Countess, from time to time. Mrs E509 told me the history of the favored child, who was sent to the Countess when only a day old, it was elegantly dressed in linen cambric & rich lace, its pillow covered with white satin & the quilting lining the basket of the same. a letter elegantly written disclosed only that painful circumstances. prevented the parents acknowledging the little innocent helpless one & asked the Countess to take a mothers interest in its fate. she has adopted it & has no other. A very nice young English lady attended upon it as governess,510 & already the little girl speaks English as if she had been taught in Victorias nursery. The Scotch steward & his portly dame511 looked as if they shared in the profits of the estate they manage she was dressed in a gay light silk, with a lace pocket handkerchief as the insignia of work.

Saturday Sept 20ƫ512 There have been so many duties devolving upon me & so long a term has passed I forget what else I wished to add to my last day in the country. the weather became so cold and wet I could not take baby again, except one afternoons drive to see “the beautiful Mrs Anderson” as she is distinguished. my Johnie out rivalled her once so blooming infant daughter513 who is six months older than my active boy teething made her so ill that she cannot yet walk. perhaps I listened with too pleased an attention to the admiration my darling excites! Mary has availed of very bright sunshine for taking him a drive this morning with his brothers, I have ordered them back to a 3 oclock dinner because the afternoon became damp & chilly. And the inteval I shall occupy by recording as briefly as possible the changes which a fortnight has brought about in my family circle. Whistler placed our dear James & Willie as boarders at Mons Jourdons school514 monday before last, & the next day515 he himself seemed sorry to leave me with only Johnie to amuse me in my loneliness, tho of course he felt it a privilige as well as duty to go to meet our dear Debo at Hamburg. he will not know what a contest there was in my heart as I saw the Steamer bearing him away while I held baby closer than ever to me as we stood on our three-story-high balcony to gaze after dear father, yet if I wept, I also rejoiced that he was to have a three weeks reprieve from rail road duties516 & a trip to Berlin on his way back with his only daughter - his day of leaving St Petersburg exactly fulfilling her years absence from us.517 Our Consul Mr Gibson was most glad to have my husbands society on his route to England, we have in possession several nice peices of furniture which were favorites of his- especially his french clock. for his health does not admit of his return to this post where he has been so highly respected twenty years. we shall miss him much, who will now forward my letters to England by the Courier? who will enable us to receive our Gallignani without the Censors clipping out all the highest seasoned bits of news? he has never been well enough to return my husbands calls, since the introduction he offered in propria persona to Mrs & Miss W on their first becoming established in the Bobrinski Dom. but sent me his card with P.P.C.518 as he has heretofore upon his leaving St P for the winter. My dear boys have almost daily exchanged billet doux with Mother since their strange absence of a week at a time from home. James reported every thing “first rate” even to brown bread & salt for breakfast & quass for dinner.519 and Willie forebore to complain of home sickness, tho our friend Mr Prince reported when he went one evening to see them that poor Will looked very doleful.520 Our coachman thought me no doubt very hard hearted when he drove me out for an airing one day the first week the boys were at school & stopped before Mons Jourdons that I would not get out. James! Willie! he exclaimed thinking I could not be aware where he had chosen to take me — I ordered him to the Summer gardens which face the school,521 being upon the opposite side of the Champ de Mars where all the grand reviews are held by the Emperor. there I took a solitary promenade, wishing I might be met by the pupils of Mons. Jourdon, for their daily walk in the season for it is to the Summer garden. Never shall I forget the delight mutually experienced as I welcomed my dear boys home the first Saturday!522 Mother. Mother I heard them call as soon as the front door was opened & they were in such a glow, the looked almost handsome in their new round black cloth caps set to one side their cropped heads & the light school uniform of grey trowsers, black jacket523 & velvet stock made them appear taller & certainly straighter. Willie was in such an excitement he went down to the court after dinner to ride about it on H. Eastwicks524 new pony. James found the new suit too tight for his drawing lesson. he sacrificed vanity to comfort & was not diverted from his two hours drawing by the other boys frolic which argued well for Jemies determination to improve as he promised father would525 in his absence. My dear boys told me much of their masters & class mates as they enjoyed their curd & cream & good bread & butter at tea time. then asked for a warm shower bath as a Sat nights indulgence, after which Willie shared my room or rather I & baby had taken possession of the boys former quarters, so Jemie slept in what we call “Aunt Alicias room” that our diminished circle might thus be drawn closer together, we had abandoned the front of the house that double windows might be put in. What a privilige I felt it to have my dear boys at family prayers on the Sabbath morning. I observed with pleasure too how well they behaved at church. Henry Harrison526 came home with us to dinner & Mons. Lamartine also joined us then that he might see his former pupils In the afternoon I had the three boys assembled in my room, read & talked with them upon the duty to God & to their teachers & associates. I could not but remark darling Willies clinging to me, his attention to all I wished, but I did not understand the deeper tenderness which was swelling his heart as the hour for leaving home drew nigh. We spent the twilight hour in the recital of what he had suffered all the week from home-sickness. I could but weep with my tender hearted Willie the first half hour, as I thus sympathised he told me all, & it was a sacred & sweet privilige to comfort him. When I at last put the question “Will you let the boys go tonight without you?” he answered still sobbing. “Oh no! it is right to go to school. father wishes it & I will try all I can to study to please him!” May our Almighty Father strengthen this purpose of his youthful mind! & may time accustom. him to his privations in being from home. I cannot wish him ever to become indifferent to absence from it When I talked to my more manly James about his brothers claims upon him for sympathy while away from my side, I unfortunately added “you do not know what he feels” then Jemies wounded love melted him into tears as he uttered “Oh Mother you think I don’t miss being away from home!” he brushed away the shower with the back of his hand as quickly as if fearing to be caught weeping. Dear boys! may they never miss me as I do them. After tea Willies grief was renewed as the moment of parting came. Mary went down with him to the Droshky & heard him say in reply to Henry Harrisons “dont cry Willie! look at me I dont mind going back to school! “Ah Henry you are not leaving your Mother!” When I had proposed to Willie that I should call some day to see them at Mons Jourdons, he had the self denial to recommend that I should not until he should be better reconciled to his new situation, he feared it would make him more home-sick “if I only look out of the windows & fancy you may, some of you be in the Summer gardens I cant stand it!”

October 6ƫ Tuesday night. The house has almost the stillness of the grave & I may while on the watch as sick nurse write of that which has engrossed all my time & thoughts these ten days past. What a shock it will occasion to Whistler & Debo when they arrive to hear all I have gone thro, & they will see how near we have been losing our precious little Johnie. the crisis is just past & tho daily there are hours when his unfavorable symptoms prevail, yet we may hope now God will spare us the affliction of having to bury the little one who has the year past caused joy to return to our home circle. Poor Marys heart has been almost broken at the prospect of losing him. Never have I witnessed sufferings so extreme, so protracted in an infants frame. I could only pray that these might be softened. I dared not pray to have his life on earth prolonged if our Infinitely wise & compassionate Saviour designed to take him early to his home in Heaven. I may say “tears have been my meat day & night”527 yet hymns have been my solace as I paced the chamber hour after hour striving to win sleep to my darlings eye lids. Doct Rogers has visited him four times a day & some nights has staid till after twelve in hopes of his prescriptions giving ease to the little sufferer, yet he has for his own satisfaction called in a consulting physician who yet meets him here daily. A German doct who for twenty years has been presiding physician at the childrens hospital.528 he explains away the mysteriousness of my baby’s attack of Dysentery, by telling us it is an epidemic in some of the neighbouring towns & has told its victims ten a day even in St Petersburg lately. he called it very properly a visitation sent from God. no doubt in mercy sent to check dependence on creature comforts. Our cup would have been too full without this check, for we are looking for the arrival of my dear husband with darling Debo tomorrow. My excited mind keeps my body from sinking under fatigue. for now tho every one is asleep in the house & neighbourhood I feel like sitting up all night, indeed mid night is past, how beautiful the moonlight is! my husband & daughter are I trust gazing in admiration upon its mild beams at Cronstadt529 & lifting their souls to the Creator

[Thursday] October 15ƫ We had only accomplished the removal of babys crib into the quiet apartment where he was born, when a summons for the Droshky, announced the arrival of my dear husband & Debo.530 And where is that infants Crib now? since I occupy the silent back chamber without it, indeed the room wears an altered look, the dark curtains are taken down & a fire burns in the grate. That little one was last evening gently removed in his crib to our own room upon the quai as the coolest place, to preserve the precious clay yet a few days from corruption that we may visit & gaze upon its marble loveliness. Yes - yesterday at 3 1/2 oclock in the afternoon our babys sufferings terminated!531 his redeemed spirit borne on Angels wings no doubt, returned to God who had lent him to cheer us, & taken him suddenly to warn us “Be ye also ready”532 “The sinless child with mission high, to us on earth was given, to teach us that this World should be the vestibule to heaven”533

Friday [October] 16ƫ534 “The spirit indeed is willing, “but the flesh is weak”535 I could write no more yesterday, Arrangements have been made to have the funeral service at our house, altho contrary to the established rule of the English church,536 indeed we have much to be thankful for, the kindness & sympathy of a few, seems very sincere, Mr Ropes has called upon our pastor to make the arrangements, has verbally invited those friends who have evinced an interest in the little sick=one, our dear boys were sent for yesterday from school & add much to our comfort, they wept bitterly at the sight of their darling Johnie still & cold in death! that little brother who had, until illness checked his joy, ever been so full of glee at the coming of James & Willie! May God of his infinite mercy grant that the solemn impressions of this death be enduring! we had family worship in this back chamber before the boys said good night, dear children! I fear at school they hurry thro their prayers in the multitude of different creeds. I felt so ill this morning. when I first awoke aching in every part of my frame. yet went to the parlor to lead the family devotions & made breakfast for the rest tho I could taste nothing. My kind physician has been both yesterday & today to visit me. Our pastor also has called today to pour the balm of consolation & to offer sympathy. dear old Mrs Leon has sent to ask after the health of our baby! I have sent to say my first visit after that to the house of God, shall be to her, it will be a motive for my going out, & doct R urges me so much to take the air, for I suppose fatigue & sorrow tells upon my countenance. Once today only have I stolen into that chamber where all that remains to us of Johnie lies, shall I ever forget the expression of that sweet face? tho so changed from what it was in healthful beauty, it is beautiful still. the deep sunken eyes cast a sad expression thro their long dark lashes, but the mouth smiles still, his dark brown curls are not long enough to shade the noble forehead which is so like Kirkies! and his snow white hands as perfectly beautiful as was that angel brothers in life & in death! —— I resume my task facinating tho so heart rending while I am alone an hour after tea. Debo is reading to James & Willie in her own room, Whistler has our friend George Prince in his office. for I would record the mercies which sweetened my attendance upon my little one in his illness of eighteen days.537 the remembrance of his fondness for his mother & Mary is so sweet, he would at times first extend his arms to clasp my neck, then hers by turns, and once when his favorite Mr Prince went in to look at him, he smiled, but these intervals from pain alas were few. We thought he recognised his dear father, and perhaps he did not look upon Sister as a stranger for he had heard her name so constantly, so that she could have the privilige of aiding us in carrying him about, for his sufferings rendered it necessary we should night & day pace the chamber with him in our arms. and thankful am I that mine never wearied “As thy need so shall thy strength be”538 I have fully experienced in such seasons of affliction. Our hopes were uppermost the first day or two after Whistler & Debos return and we were permitted to rejoice that they had come home. but then succeeded stronger fears our good doct Rogers & doct F539 who still attended as consulting physician apprehended that the head would be attacked from our precious little sufferer lifting his arms so much. Oh how my heart sunk when the ointment for blistering540 the back of the neck was ordered & I had to apply it! that sore spot never healed, after death, blood flowed from it. The thirst which the doct had so often questioned me about as a sure attendant upon the disease, at last came. Forgive me Oh my Saviour that thy thirst upon the Cross should never before have impressed my soul! Oh my God I have indeed needed thy correction! And this little one whom thou hast now taken, after have purified him thro suffering – has seemed to me as a victim for my sins. Oh God humble me! Holy Spirit keep these impressions in lively exercise, that I may ever be looking to Eternity: tho our babys restlessness in a measure abated towards the last, I could hear his teeth grind in the agonies of death! Ah why was it so hard for the “little one” of whom, Jesus said “such is the kingdom of heaven”541 – these struggles with our last enemy? if not to teach us the beginning of wisdom the fear of God.542 while we adore Him may we fear to offend Him for our God is a consuming fire.543 but if we strive to resist sin, which is the sting of death to us under the law, death will have no terrors to the believer, in Christ, who has overcome the grave.544

Thursday evening 29ƫ Oct.545 My dear husband charged me (as he left me to go with Debo to listen to the trial of a new organ at a German church546 for a few hours before tea - if I should have painful sensations on being left alone to call our good Mary to the drawing room. I am not well, nor can it be expected I should, but it is rather an indulgence sometimes to be solitary when the full heart needs relief & if tears fall over my records they will not be checked as if those so dear to me were present. Ah what a luxury to weep over the memory of my little Johnie! I seldom encourage this selfish grief, fearing it is sinful in Gods sight, for has He not evinced love in calling that precious child from a world of sin & sorrow ere he could discern good & evil: And now I will go on from my last record. I would not leave out of this account the funeral services of my darling baby. as he died in the room where he was born, so, almost the same circle of friends assembled to join in these most solemn & touching obsequies, who had witnessed the dear little ones baptism in the same parlor fourteen months previously. Our pastor & Mrs Law had seen me in another room while they were collecting, & while some who delighted in our beautiful Johnie were gazing fondly upon all that remained to us of him. My dear Whistler, George Prince & Mary had placed the dear body in the neat box which had been made by our sympathising countrymen at Alexandrofsky. poor Mary had lifted her darling from the pillow for the last time! And when told all had left the room I went to take my last lingering gaze! what a reluctance I felt to parting from the body I had so much delighted in! as I kissed the beautiful hands, they were as pliable as ever in life, so soft & dimpled! but ah the icy coldness struck to my heart. Whistler brought in our boys & dear Debo came to look for the last time at Johnie.

When I entered the circle an hour after in our drawing room where I knew the crib had been placed at the end of the large apartment just where I had offered my baby at the font, it was with difficulty Imaintained composure, I dared not lift my eyes. Mr Ellerby & his dear good wife who had taken so much interest in my baby while in health & sickness I knew were present. The sympathising Merrieellees family too.547 our kind Doct all our countrymen from Alexandrofsky of course our kind neighbour Mr Ropes & George Prince, and several others dear Miss Funk had from first to last proved her belief that it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting!548 When I could think that all present truly sympathized it was a melancholy gratification Our beautiful burial service how impressive! how comforting! Immediately upon its conclusion my kind husband upon whose arm I had leaned, supported me to my back chamber where Johnie was born & from whence his happy spirit had taken flight. Whistler had the privilige of seeing the little body again, but I was spared knowing exactly when it was enclosed until the loud grief of poor Mary called me to her side to comfort & soothe her, Mr Ropes had cut the curls & sent them for her to give me, Mr Eastwick & George Prince went in the carriage of the former to bear the box to the vault of the English church, true mourners with us in our loss for they loved the little one, and it has been comforting to us that we needed no hirelings even to remove him from this home to that depository. We have obtained permission since, thro our Ambassador’s interest with the authorities of the Police that when an expected ship comes to Cronstadt which is to be sent to our native land this autumn, we may have the precious box transported thither. Which of us shall go next to another world is the most solemn reflection. May God sanctify every affliction to us & Oh may this last stroke loosen our hold upon earth & each succeeding help to prepare us for heavenly joys. And oh the blissful welcome from these happy spirits who have only gone a short space before us to where we all hope to be! How much I have thought of christian friends there who would so differently view my loss. such saints as Miss Hirst & MƤ Nichols, how blind & idolatrous that mother who could desire to detain a little one from the Lord of all! tho I weep let me faint not,549 but press on daily towards the attainment of a blessed reunion of all I have loved whom God has taken before me to an eternal home. The day after our funeral service at home, we all attended Church morning & afternoon.550 dear Debo & I attended the Lords table together. When shall I have the happiness of seeing my husband kneeling at the Altar to commemorate the death of Jesus who has so loving invited all who believe in Him (as I know my dear husband does with a deep veneration & love) thus to shew forth the Lords death till He come! for some wise purpose my prayers are not yet answered, I must wait my Gods appointed time & yet pray unceasingly Our darling boys had to go back to school at bed time, but we improved the evening in reading aloud & had family prayers ere nine oclock came. Willie & I parted as usual in tears, dear Jemie may love his home as well, but he is blessed with an elasticity of spirits which rise above the thoughts which cause his younger, gentler brother to cling to his poor mother, Willie would like school if he could return to us every night, last Saturday551 when they were enjoying being seated in our drawing room after, he picked up a book which he recollected I had read aloud while he & Jemie drew last winter & said “Oh Mother those were first rate evenings! I wish they could be, over=again” Willie has kindly offered to walk with Mary to church, knowing how much she misses Johnie, he thus tries the only day he can, to be attentive to her. bless my thoughtful kind little Willie for it!552

Monday November 2Ơ No ice yet, indeed today the thermometer is at 1 deg of heat. I had a short walk with my husband after breakfast, we looked for the English book-store in vain. & regret Kirton has moved from the Galernia553 it was such a convenient distance for us to go. I wrote dear Mrs Maingay on Sat,554 as her son came to offer to bear our despatches to England, he sets out by land this evening to pass the winter at home. The Harrisons not yet arrived here tho it is more than three weeks since he wrote from Ireland.555 little Alicia is therefore still under my care, I grow fond of the little one who occupies my lost ones crib. What hard struggles I endure to subdue my selfish grief! Yesterday I was struck by my bereaved friend Mr Nichols extract in the last letter556 received from him “Let power be given - To draw - not them to Earth, but us to Heaven.”557 & shall endeavour to keep this warning in view, that when memory bids painful images of my darlings sufferings pass in review, I may lift my heart in prayer to Jesus to help to keep my thoughts upon the realities of an unseen world. Why should the thrilling tones of my babys voice as I last heard them expressing the sufferings of that agonizing thirst still cause me to weep bitterly! it is past & he has forgotten it for the gentle Shepherd leads him to pure streams of living waters.558 why am I ever seeking to recal my babys countenance in the sleep of death! the bright expression of his happy face as it was in health never forsakes his fond mothers mental gaze, and it is in a state of glorified beauty & happiness! Why do I press my lips & weep as in a stolen indulgence at sight of his little down=pillow which scented as it is from all the alleviatives used while his darling head rested on it those eighteen nights & days is more odoriferous to me than the most costly perfumes. Jesus look down in mercy upon me & put strength in me! lay not this grief as sin to my charge Oh thou compassionate & Holy One! but grant that when Thou has tried me & purified my soul thro suffering Thou mayest take me to where my little one has gone. My husband last week invited a fellow passenger of his & Debos from Stettin who is passing a few weeks here - to dine with us en famille. Our good Doct Rogers only was invited to meet Mr Bainbridge.559 I was pleased with the stranger who is middle aged & rather in feeble health from having lived many years in India. this also renders his conversation interesting, I listened to his remarks about India with pleased attention as we sat round the bright fire after dinner, he could scarcely account for his feeling so much more comfortable in our drawing room than in any other in St Petersburg until its being carpetted all over & curtained according to the English mode was forced upon his conviction, for grates are used in most houses occupied by his countrymen here. he fell quite in love with my warm foot-stool & said he should look out for one like it on his return to London. he suffers from cold feet & has a horror of draughts as is the case with most persons who have lived years in India. he is a perfect gentleman so mild, so moderate in his choice of language where dissapproval must be expressed, one just fitted to make friends wherever he roams & he seems bent on visiting many nations. Mr Bainbridge on finding Debos taste for music invited her to go in his carriage to hear the rehearsal of the court singings last friday morning.560 she referred him to me, & as I could make no excuse for not wishing to be one of the party, I was more than repaid for the effort to gratify my dear daughter, & agreed with her I never had heard such perfect music in my life. Oh that she would be content to substitute these rehearsals of sacred sounds for the Opera! While I shut out even the sedate looking Choristers with my handkerchief to my eyes, I could almost imagine myself near the throne of God. Oh how delicious were the tears I shed as I thought of my little one who had loved music so fondly here! with his golden harp – for now he is an angel! As we were singing that verse of the morning hymn the second sunday I attended our church after I lost him561 the same thought brought me joy in my grief tho it overpowered me & caused me to lose my voice, that he was among those who never weary in singing praise around the throne of God! How impatient I feel to be among that happy number! And my loving Saviour will not exile any who wish to go there. longer than necessary to fit them for the change. Holy Spirit quicken me to repentence & make me entirely submissive, believing, hoping, waiting, in Jesus to whom be all the praise. And enable me in my life to exhibit my dependence in Thee Alone.

[Saturday] November 14ƫ562 Having just sent off a letter to my dear Whistler who left us a week ago to meet the Count at Moscow563 - may it soon be received by my husband at Tchoodver564 as he will be much interested in the news from America especially the battle at Monterey where our friend Capt Williams565 of the Engineers was killed & buried by the Mexicans into whose hands he fell, with the honors of war - Georges letter566 enclosed in the same envelope with mine announces that his Uncle Col Whistler & Garland567 have been ordered back to the seat of war, poor Eliza - Garlands fond bride568 will experience now the beginning of trials to which the wives of soldiers are peculiarly subject. This is an era in the worlds history when wars & rumours of wars verify our Saviours testimony that these must be the latter days, for our journals are filled with news of distress of nations from famine, pestilence & storms. I was almost tempted to copy the details of the providential preservation of life in the thrilling report of the Steamer Gt Westerns569 last voyage to the city of New York from Liverpool, because it seemed so solemn a warning of human helplessness & such a subject of praise for Gods forbearance & mercy should be handed down to future generations. Our friends the Crufts whose acquaintance we first made here last Summer, were on their return home after two years spent in Europe for health - among the 260 souls on board, & probably they were of the 60 who partook of the holy communion - it would be for the first time, but I trust not the last! Our hearts are hard by nature yet Oh it would seem such an especial evidence of the Divine goodness & love must make an enduring impression upon all who sought the Saviour on the mighty deep - for when they were ready to perish He commanded the raging waves & the storm was subdued. the Capt confessed “the hand of God was in it!” Ah in that very storm, how many bodies must have found a watery grave! how many souls have been called unprepared into the presence of their judge! while these favored ones have had years added to their term to give them opportunities to shew that they believe in the efficacy of prayers. From the Sat till the Tues. while the storm raged the account reports several religious exercises the last was one of thanksgiving & praise to God for His interposition when a watery grave seemed inevitable, and before the favored ship entered the habor of N York the passengers not only presented a liberal sum to the Capt. officers & crew but instituted a fund for the aid of destitute families deprived of their support by loss of husbands, fathers, or sons at sea. to be called “The Gt Western fund,” in commemoration of their own preservation. The Gt Western brought our last dates from New York to Liverpool. But no letters from my dear family addressed to myself, tho I am thankful to learn thro one to Debo that my precious Sister Maria’s health was benefitted by her sojourn at the mineral springs. This morning my dear daughter has gone to Mrs Gellibrands to take her german lesson with Elizabeth Ropes who is not well enough to come to our Study as usual. & as it is not yet time to prepare to welcome James & Willie from School I scribble up my family record as I would fain do each saturday. I must look back to the 3rd of this month,570 the anniversary of my wedding day being the most blessed of all anniversaries to me, as each year I sensibly feel a higher appreciation of the blessing God bestowed upon me in my beloved husband, but as I like not compliments on such occasions I reminded none of the family until the day was over, tho I had thought much of the changes which mark the period & had in the solitude of my own room poured out my thanks mingled with tears to the Searcher of hearts for His having crowned my lot with mercies. for even afflictions are such if viewed by the eye of Faith. My dear husband & I talked until the clock struck one, of the first period of our married life when Debo was the little one, and we acknowledged to each other that yet as the only daughter this dear gentle one continues the object of our deepest solicitude & tenderest care. As we are wont to kneel side by side in our chamber our silent prayers mingle for spiritual gifts for the four darling children yet spared us on earth, & it is our delight to talk at times to each other of the four whom God took early to their home in heaven where we hope all will meet at last, to part no more. Let me not omit to record my gratitude to God who has disposed my husband to seek counsel from on high, that he now never travels without his bible as his companion, and now that I must kneel without him at the footstool of mercy my solace is to commit him in prayer to One who follows him on all his journeys. The Harrisons arrived the wednesday of last week571 having journeyed almost all the route from London by land. no letters had met them from this after they set out & landing from the Stettin Steamer no friend was waiting to tell them of our loss. MƤ Harrisons first question was for her infant, her next for mine! The Victory a London Steamer had met them near Cronstadt, but they had no suspicion that the remains of our little Johnie were on board, that the precious body may be sent forward from London to our hallowed enclosure in the Stonington village burial place. Mrs Harrison has many times since said to me “suppose it had been my Alice instead of your Johnie!” Gods holy will be done! I needed the chastisement & my innocent little one was taken to a heavenly home. May my soul be weaned from earthly desires that Jesus may become the supreme object. As my need so shall my strength be.572 I shrink not from suffering. for Infinite wisdom & love cannot err. yet how forcible I felt the words of Hawkes in the evening portion for the 7ƫ of this month “And they feared as they entered into the cloud”573. how vivid is my recollection of past experience, when last winter my darling babe was very ill a few hours I trembled as death threatened! and even in his last illness how my heart sunk at a slight chill as we were putting him into a warm bath recalled the dying struggles of my dying Charlie in the bath in which that little one had given me his last look of love, & oh I shall fondly cherish that last expression of affection while reason is retained. But I record it to my Saviours glory that unworthy as I am, He has enabled me to feel it to be good to enter the cloud of affliction where His glorious presence becomes visible to the mourner who cannot bear the false glitter of this worlds joys, but whose soul then stretches its gaze to the realities of Eternity. Mrs Harrisons little Alicia more than repaid me for my attention to her by her fondness of me. when her father asked where was Mama she pointed to me & said “there,” indeed to let her own Mamas facinations have full effect, I had to screen myself, for the whole family spent the day of their arrival with us. they took Henry from school & when their carriage was announced before tea Alicia & all bade us adieu, a happy- unbroken family band went home together! The next time Mrs H came to town she was laden with gifts for me which herself & husband had selected on their route. a beautiful Tea Caddie of petrified wood from Spâ,574 an embroidered pélerine575 & Brussels lace576 from that emporium of fine work & a pr of Tyrolese gloves577 from Prussia. also a case of scissors from Birmingham which because most unpretending yet most useful I had nearly omitted to name. MƤ Eastwicks baby was christened last tuesday,578 under happier circumstances I had promised her to be present on the occasion, I lent our consecrated bowl which I & all my brothers & Sisters & some of my own children have been christened from, but I wrote a note of apology, and felt grateful that they did not urge me to overcome my selfishness. I could not have been in the festive throng after the holy rite & it might have appeared rude to leave without partaking the hospitalities which our clergyman always remains to partake of. Never can I forget the kindness of Mr Eastwick towards my children, especially his last act of tenderness towards my angel Johnie in so gently removing the precious corffin with his own hand & taking it in his own carriage to the vault of the English Church & I pray God to reward him seven fold in spiritual mercies to his children. The baby was christened William, after brothers of Mr & Mrs E.579 Mr & Mrs Kirk580 stood sponsors. Oh that the solemn vows may impress them!

Saturday Dec 5ƫ My own dear husband was welcomed home by Debo & I last tuesday581 to dinner. he had complained of nothing in the months absence thro his several letters582 to us, but home sickness, his patience was tested to its utmost endurance, while waiting the movements of the great man, to whom all ranks in the Engineer department, but Whistler, bow in humiliating submission & in presence of whom they tremble, as man only ought to do to God! however the Count has always been polite towards my husband,583 & now this vexatious inspection of his work is over for this season, he can annoy us no further. A short peice of the rail road 22 versts had been completed,584 in the prospect of the Count coming over it from Colpener,585 locomotives & trains were sent to meet them, refreshments had been prepared & taken in the cars by Winans & Harrison, but Whistler only was to profit by these attentions, the Countess586 having met her lord monday evening at Tchoodver, they travelled together to the palace in this city, on the chaussé, Col Melnikoff was honored by their taking possession of his house for the night! but of course he was not invited to act the host, he sought the hospitality of another officer for himself, where also Whistler was entertained, my husband always testifies as to the courtesies of the Russian officers, their eagerness to welcome travellers is the more praise worthy, when their circumscribed means are contrasted with their graceful hospitality, many of them have not more than $200 salary. they are all educated as gentlemen.587 While my husband was absent our dear boys had no praznicks588 altho he wrote us two had been observed in the interior589 & he had felt glad to fancy them enjoying themselves at home, last saturday indeed Jemie had been kept in school until night, to write a given portion of french over 25 times as a punishment590 for having loitered to chat with a class-mate after their recitation was finished instead of marching back to his seat according to order. poor fellow! it was rather severe when he had looked only for rewards at the end of the week. during which he had not had one mark of disapprobation. he was too much elated by his number of good balls for perfect recitations, & forgot the disobedience of orders is a capital offense under military discipline. He lost his drawing lesson. & made us all unhappy at home thro his detention at school. Willie would have waited for him but that he would not permit, poor coacher & ponies must have suffered most after all, for the weather was exceeding cold, snowing & freezing, yet there they waited from 2 oclock until 5 1/2. We had tried to keep a nice dinner warm for poor Jemie, but his appetite had forsaken him altho his breakfast had been at seven & only a penny roll since. Koritzkie591 had been precisely at four to give him his Saturdays treat a drawing lesson & Jemie dashed the tears in vexation from his eyes, I hope he will not forget the lesson upon obedience! his cheerfulness however was soon restored by his gentle Sisters kindness & we had our usual Sat nights reading, before the bath. When the boys left us to go to sleep at Mons Jourdons on sunday night592 as usual, they were cheered by the prospect of the two praznicks593 they have had this week. & were not long after their dear fathers welcome home in coming for theirs. I must not omit to record that the river was closed last Saturday night,594 the season has been remarkably open & mild, usually the Neva has been travelled over by sledges a fortnight before this - and besides the ice not coming down in due season, a long stretch of a verst & half below the works of the new bridge was left quite free for ferry boats to ply across several days.595 however the cold has been so intense this week it is already frozen across. appearing like an immense mirror, while the rough masses of ice from Ladoga are piled up in striking contrast, but so soon as the police give freedom to sledges to cross to the islands roads will be levelled.596 Our boys took their skates when they went to Alexandrofsky on wednesday, it was very lucky that their praznic gave them freedom for Harrison Eastwicks birth day,597 he came to town to breakfast with them, & the happy trio of cronies did not loiter after it, they stopped at the Gostinandvor to provide themselves each, a pr of fur mittens & fur boots our boys were restored to us at bed time by Mr Eastwick himself. he took the moonlight drive to town with them & to put an end to my thanks said he enjoyed it. We had to put off their recounting all the pleasure of their visit until breakfast, for a warm bath was ready in their own room & good Mary had a bright fire in their grate to tempt them to it. Jemie had been so much interested in the exhibition of the Magic lantern598 (which Mr Eastwick has lately imported from England to add to the domestic resources of his boys) displaying the planetary system & simplyfying the science of astronomy to their comprehension, he found his evenings entertainment as charming as his days freedom to range out of doors had been. they left their skates & sledge at Alexandrofsky in the hope of other holidays, & because the English ice hill club are not to offer the winters amusement to which we have always subscribed, they are the better pleased that at the American works ice hills are to be formed this season. On thursday599 we had our favorite Miss MacMaster & her three interesting pupils Helen Kate & Willie Wood to meet our boys. Henry Harrison also came to dinner & was here till nine when the party broke up, for the Woods were sent for & our sledge was in waiting to take our boys back to Mons Jourdons. Even our Willie went off smiling (instead of weeping as is too often his wont upon a summons to leave home) for a day & half would so soon pass! I was rather startled to hear Henry alluding to an alarm which his parents still suffer from, in poor little Annies state of health, as I had carefully avoided mentioning the subject to our boys, in the dread it might thro childish garrulity reach dear little Annies ears, she being entirely unconcious of having had an Epiliptic fit, the first fortnight after her return home from England. it was very early in the morning when it seized her, as she was amusing her baby sister600 in her own little room, the two children being surrounded by toys, when she suddenly cried out “Oh my head” fell back in convulsions, which lasted two hours, after a long deep slumber succeeding, she awoke & only expressed surprise at finding herself in her mamas bed instead of her own. The nervous fever she had in England, may have predisposed the dear little girl for this, but the dread is a recurrence,601 however as her general health has been much better since the fit may it be hoped God will avert such a trial to her parents as to witness her subject to such a dire attendant upon life!

Saturday evening Dec 19ƫ602 MƤ Harrison came just as I had written thus far & waited here till Henry came from school with my boys, after dinner I let no employment interfere with their claims upon me. Last Saturday603 Mr & Mrs Eastwick brought their nurse & baby in hopes of meeting our good doct here wishing to consult him about their little Russian Willie. & as the last day of the week is that I set aside for summing up the other six days, I am almost discouraged in the attempt to keep a diary. Debo went at 7 oclock this evening to the Parsonage to witness the marriage ceremony of her favorite Miss Henley to Mr Wishaw,604 having had the promise of a window upstairs from which she could look down upon the altar. Now that my boys have finished their Sat evening English reading to their dear father & I, we having enjoyed tea which our good Doct partook of with us, they have gone to their room to bathe & I am all alone in our large parlor, for father has gone to escort Sister home.

Friday Christmas day our style Dec 25ƫ I shall have a most delightful accompaniment to my notes, while Debo, her father & one of our pastors daughters are playing piano, harp & flute. Yesterday Whistler obtained the favor for our dear boys spending our holiday at home, tho the schools give none, he took them to the Gostinandvor605 directly after breakfast to supply them each with a pr of skates, the “English skating ground” being now ready, the weather so mild & they needing exercise so much, I advised them to call for a young Scotsman named Saunders606 who is fond of the amusement & who is a favorite among us, his modest & gentlemanly deportment being very captivating & his having been trained to a proper way of thinking by a pious mother, who is alas separated from a dissolute husband. We are always glad to see young Saunders, he came with his uncle Mr Miller & spent an evening by our fire side this week, Whistler delighted him by his imitation of the scotch bag-pipes upon the flute, for we old folks were required to exert our powers of entertainment, as Debo was spending the evening at the Henleys.607 Last evening by way of realizing Christmas Eve, we had a small party of young folks to meet our young people,608 previous to their assembling, Whistler & I went to Kirtons English book shop609 & selected a Christmas gift for Debo & the boys which I presented this morning directly after breakfast, Jemie seems quite sensible of fathers generosity & has whispered me to dissuade him from the purchase of gifts for the Russian Christmas, how happy it makes me that our plan for then, will not dissappoint our children! Oh that the Saviour who came to Earth (as on this day) & announced by the holy Angels “Peace on Earth, good will to men”610 may answer my petitions for the four dear children He has yet left us, to cheer us on our pilgrimage thro this vale of tears! Oh that He may “call them early”611 by his Holy Spirit, that they may honor Him in their life among men, & give them tastes & desires for the society of Saints & Angels where we are comforted in believing the four who have gone before us to an unseen world, have already entered upon unending happiness. Our late letters from dear George612 have been rather depressing, how often we think of him so separated from the family circle, which with his domestic tastes must indeed be such a privation, but in this world of trial, we must become resigned to the arrangements of an Invisible over-ruling power, which appoints for each of us situations most favorable for the great reformation man requires to fit him for a heavenly society. What could enable me contentedly to spend years away from my native land, my mother, Sisters brothers & friends, even deprived of the visits of a pastor, but that I cannot doubt God will more than compensate me, by drawing me to the Saviour, who has said “whosoever loveth Mother or child better than me is not worthy of Me”613 — I had kind notes from two among my small circle of friends in this city614 today. & my heart was touched with gratitude that comparitive strangers should give a passing interest to a mourner. I gave, with my answer to one on the Island, “Na Chi” to the messenger, the poor serf was as thankful for the grevenic615 as a Yankee would have been for a dollar.

Had it not been so late when I took up my pen last Saturday evening,616 I should have recorded having passed an hour the morning of that day in “the house of mourning”617 it was my second call upon Miss Funk, since her sympathising visits to me in my late affliction, she had consented to pass this season under the roof of her only Sister, who had five “little=ones” under nine years of age618 & was expecting a sixth. I had become interested in the mother619 of my christian friend, whom I had conversed with in my first call, for tho a German lady, she spoke English, the sunday before last she gave birth to another little girl,620 much suffering ensued, under which the patient evinced how sustaining is the true believers confidence in God. when pain ceased, she rapidly lost strength,621 a nurse was provided for the vigorous infant, who thrives & misses not a mothers care. Previous to death Mrs G conversed with her husband622 upon her hopes in Christ Jesus our Lord, leading him to lay hold upon such as a staff in his affliction, she repeated the 14ƫ chap of St John623 to him, (from which the clergyman selected his text when he preached at the funeral service which we attended in the Dutch reformed church last tuesday)624 I felt it good to be there, although I could not understand what he said, except occasionally the text “In my fathers house are many mansions” his countenance was so expressive & manner so earnest, Debo told me when we walked from the church how impressive the address had been, particularly to the young for she whose body was borne to the grave had been young & full of hopes for years of usefulness, the attendance was very numerous. tho the cold was intense 10 deg below zero Farenheit. How wan the poor widowers face as he passed alone, and Miss Funk how overcome with sorrow she seemed, her pastor & Mrs Ellerby were among the number of English friends who were present. My good Mary who is always contented at home has been invited by Mrs E to spend this evening at the Parsonage with her good Ellen, the English nurse.625

Tuesday evening [December] 29ƫ Our dear Debo has gone to dine with the Gellibrands & as her father is inclined to read American news papers I shall scribble a while before tea. Last evening while he was gone to Alexandrofsky a solitary letter reached our Russian home by the Gt Western from New York, we were too eager to wait his breaking the seal of Maxwell communication,626 & Debo read it aloud to me while I made tea, it was eight pages, but as his letters always are so entertaining, we were sorry to come to its end. it was well we lingered over tea thus, for Debos favorite Miss Grant627 just at that moment arrived & soon after, my gude mon himself. the young lady seemed exceedingly amused at our having dared to make so free with the Majors property, as it was an unheard of liberty among the English for any women-kind to break the seals of the masters letters, however Whistler only looked pleased that we had taken the first reading & enjoyed the second to himself after tea, when the young ladies scampered off to the piano. I brought my desk to write at the same table beside my husband. Miss G afterwards - when we had towards eleven oclock drawn in a circle around the bright fire - remarked how charmingly we each had pursued our occupation, which a very large parlor gave us the advantage of doing without interfering with each other. she is one of those with whom we need not be ceremonious, for she comes expressly to be with Debo, & tho she says it is the greatest treat she has, to sit & listen to her playing Harp or Piano, yet her own merry voice is often ringing cheerfully in speech or laughter, & we thank her for exciting responding notes from our darling daughter, who much needs more suitable companions to her age than her old mother, or even usually cheerful father. we miss our dear boys so much from home. the house must be too quiet for her, for she seems at times solitary & melancholy, while I in my efforts to appear free from sadness for her sake, in general am really so. I must not omit to record the enjoyment we all had in the three days visit628 of our boys last week, & while they were eager for amusement out of doors, skating &c, they behaved with so much gentleness & consideration in the family circle, especially James, that we have promised if Mons Jourdon does not object, they shall spend New Years evening at MƢMirriellees629 where we are all invited sociably. We had some merriment last Sat evening630 from the boys practising making bows under their fathers tuition. I am glad to observe in dear Jemie a desire now to conform to his dear fathers wish in every thing, and also to listen to his mothers admonitions, how grateful she feels God only knows!

This evening Whistler has been telling me of the loss of another Steamer in Long Island Sound, the new boat on the Norwich route, it was on the same night when the Gt Western was detained by the storm off Staten Island on leaving New York this last voyage. that the Atlantic was deprived of all power by an accident to her steam pipe, & the storm continuing to increase in violence she during that night & the next dragged her anchors a distance of 22 miles & at 4 oclock the second day was dashed upon rocks & immediately went to peices. a Steamer & also a small vessel put out in the hope of at least saving the passengers. but the storm was such the were driven back, indeed the gallant commander Capt Dustan hauled down his flag of distress upon seeing them approach knowing their own crew must forfeit their lives for their bravery if the ventured nearer. how aggravating to all on board the ill fated Atlantic! to be so near the land as to be seen by many eager to help them, but not able! yet God in mercy gave them to see that help could only come from His own mighty power! and this those who trusted in Him sought in prayer & we will hope among the forty three bodies drowned in that storm many may be found on the right hand of God at the last day when at the voice of the Saviour the sea even shall give up her dead.631 What a warning to those who trust in human intervention, in human forethought & wisdom. Some had boasted of this boat that it could brave any storm the Almighty could send! Ah if by our words we are to be justified, or condemned, should we not stand in awe & thus sin not. The Capt too was so great a favorite many would feel secure from the assurance of his nautical skill, he was a devoted sailor no doubt, for he never left his post thro that awful hurricane, when cold also assailed all on deck, he kept at his post cheering all by his calmness & courage. Alas, alas, for his aged mother, his widow, his helpless little ones who632 dependent on his exertions, may God who disposes men to compassionate such, raise up friends to them, their first intimation of their loss, was the arrival of the dead body at his home on Staten Island.633 Oh well may be pray to be delivered from sudden death! but even more earnestly should we pray for grace to live prepared to die. Oh that the living would lay these lessons to heart & redeem the time yet allotted for repentence. My heart has been softened today Wednesday 30ƫ by the sympathising letters I have received from my kind Sisters Maria & Kate,634 and I have indulged in floods of tears which have relieved my full heart. Thanks be to God for all his mercies to me! Every trial has been sweetened by kindness And should I ask more than that all who have left me have gone to Jesus (called early to enter upon joys of Which the imagination of man has no conception. Ah can I compare my griefs with those of the widows, the childless, the orphans made by war or by shipwreck! May God keep me humbled under a sense of my unworthiness, and may the only effect of sorrow upon my heart be to keep it softened by its showers, for holy impressions. When I go into the apartment, where my Johnie first breathed, where his happy spirit was also released & weep over the empty crib, may Jesus look down in pity & forgive a mothers weakness & put strength in me by the blessed promises of the gospel. forbid it that I should indulge in grief rebelliously! I read with comfort of the triumph of faith in the death bed scene of Mrs Lorrillard635 which Marias letter recounted. she was one of the very few who was a faithful steward of her masters goods. the poor of the city of New York have lost a friend & her children weep their loss of a christian mother. but what a holy association they will retain of her in prayer, her dying petition was to “Our Father which art in Heaven”636 she had confidence in her Redeemers blood. “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord” they rest from their labours & their works do follow them” Also, “Blessed are they who do His commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life.”637 Rev. My friend Mrs Barnes also writes me of the happy death of another little daughter of Maj Ripley,638 & promises to send her memoir written by our dear pastor Mr Lee of Springfield. this dear child of only eight years had thro the renewing influences of the holy spirit been led early to seek her Saviour, may the impression of her example be sanctified to her Sister who has just left her home as the bride of a rich man of the world!639 & may the example of the believing young wife be sanctified to him. many will congratulate her upon the elevation of her station in this world without considering the temptations it will draw her into to forgetfulness of the Pearl of great price.640

January 1847

Saturday 23ƨ of our style being 11ƫ of Russian style. It is three weeks this afternoon since our dear boys came home from school to spend the Russian Christmas & New year holidays, & now it seems not probable they shall return again to Mons Jourdons this winter.641 James was drooping from close confinement at school & for two days was confined to his bed with sore throat. I came to him to nurse him at night as by day in our hospital the back chamber & his father took Willie to our room, as his bed fellow, but our dear little Willie also was taken ill the second night & that apartment communicating with the drawing room improper for an invalid he also was brought to share this & for the benefit of the open fire place. Our boys were pronounced sufficently well by Christmas eve Russian Style (being 5th of Jan our style) to avail of the invitation they had received from Mrs Morgan642 to partake of the festivities of the season prepared for her children & their playmates. but the early hours was the strongest argument with us to consent, going at five, and returning at eight or nine, gave them as much frolic as they could derive enjoyment from for it was unalloyed by after suffering. they gradually recovered from their attack & skated with visible benefit almost daily upon the Neva. And Jemie often had crossed on the ice to the Acadamy of Fine arts to spend an hour or two of the early part of the day in the study of his drawing master.643 Upon the Russian New Years eve Debo & her father went to pass the evening at the Morgans where “les tableaux vivants”644 were the most attractive amusement, tho dancing succeeded before supper, to which last they did not remain but came home to me at 12 1/2. I had been alone, all the evening as our boys had been allowed the indulgence of accompanying the Eastwicks to their home to spend Edwards birth day645 & stay all night. Alas! that dear Jemies eagerness for sports should so often bring illness upon him & cause us so much anxiety. we feared from his pale face & loss of appetite he had taken cold, tho he would not complain as long as he could keep up. Debo had invited the Wilks family to have a musical entertainment & they came the second evening after our dear boys frolic at Alexandrofsky646 & tho they were allowed to sit up until ten I observed James was not in spirits & that he hovered over the fire while every one else felt our drawing room to be so warm we had to open the door of the corridor. I must not forget here to record, how very late Lizzie Ropes was in making her appearance that evening because of the stupidity of the Ishvostic who had driven Miss Scofield647 & herself over to the Island where they had been invited to dine at a Russian merchants,648 where Mr & Mrs G with the Mirriellees family waited an hour longing for the arrival of these damsels. the dinner in the while kept back & in consequence of the delay Elizabeth could not earlier be excused than her coming to us at near ten proved. she was quite excited and seemed almost as ready to cry as to laugh when she recounted to us her terror during the crazy drive of that never to be forgotten hour in the dark with a strange Ishvostic, he proved to be a rude peasant from the interior (herds of them flock each winter to St Petersburg with their rough sledges & ponies to make a trifle, which very probably they have to spend in freeing themselves from the recruiting orders which are annually issued to press the poor peasantry to fill up the ranks broken by the desolating war of the Caucases.649 Of course these poor fellows are ignorant of the city & especially of its environs tho the will not confess it, & thus when this one was directed to follow the sledge of Mr & Mrs Gellibrand to a certain house in a certain line on the Island it was expected the young ladies must reach there at the same time as themselves, poor MƤ G was extremely alarmed & weeping bitterly among her sympathising friends the other assembled guests. & Mr G had said many a time he would give a thousand rubles to have Lizzie brought safe to them! when she & Miss Scofield really came! the latter a stranger to the language & customs had depended entirely upon Elizabeth & it was well she could speak for the Ishvostic had driven them to places she had never been in before & seemed obstinate about enquiring the way, until Lizzie summoned courage to seize his reins & stop his exploring further. I did not understand if the general alarm had destroyed the appetites of the guests. the profusion was as usual at this Russian merchants feasts, & Mr J. Ropes seemed to have had a surfeit of rich dishes & champagne. & to be glad to repose while listening to the music at our quiet fire side circle. Lizzie did not stay all night with Debo as she does generally after coming for the evening. her sister could scarcely bear to lose sight of her recovered treasure, so she called for her on her way home from the late dinner party in her own sledge.

  The next morning when we assembled at prayers Willie came without James, whom Mary reported to have had a very feverish & disturbed night, his symptoms of a rheumatic attack were soon confirmed, pain in the chest & left side added to our alarm for him, our good doct who always uses mild remedies as possible, ordered oil silk650 to be wrapped around his ankles & feet, indeed wherever the rheumatic pains attacked him, it was like a charm, for altho he could not be touched without screaming for days after, still the aching pains were within half an hour relieved. mustard plaisters repeated upon his chest & side whenever the pains & difficulty in breathing came on, and afterwards the oil silk applied there was as soothing as it had proved to his limbs. the fever & nervous irritability with heavy perspirations when he could sleep were weakening & distressing. Of course my post is always in the sick chamber, this back-room the scene of so many trials to me I occupy as my precious Jemies nurse.651 As in the watches of the night season when my babys sufferings caused my eyes neither to slumber or wish sleep I sung hymns which at such seasons are the only welcome sounds to sooth anguish mental & bodily. poor James would ask me for them when he could not win sleep. Oh it is good for us when in health to lay up a store of Gods word in our memories, a verse of scripture becomes an acceptable prayer, when human energies are so prostrated by bodily anguish as not to be roused by the longing to cry unto God in a prayer of our own. He knowing all our weakness has mercifully provided us in the inspired language of His own book with ejaculations of prayer & praise. Even the youthful experience of my darling Jemie has proved that it is a rich treasure, & I trust Gods holy spirit may help him to make a dilligent search & that his mind may be stored with verses suited for every emergency. for the holy scriptures are good for instruction & correction, as they are for support & comfort thro the sufferings of sickness & on the bed of death. it is to this end I require my dear boys in health to commit a verse to memory & to repeat it at breakfast. “What we sow that shall we reap”652 let us never weary in striving to walk in the commandments of God. realizing his hand guiding every event towards the great end of our being, even the preparing us to enter into a better & brighter existence, after this life is over, there are moments of gladness even in a sick chamber. All around me in this back room reminds me of my trial of last October. the crib occupied only by the useless basket which was wont to be in use for Johnies change of clothes, the little soft down pillow upon which his beautiful head was supported on my arm till the last! and which is still so powerfully perfumed with the musk which he used to take that it must ever be most nearly associated to the little sick bed - many might wonder at my composure in gazing on these sacred objects, but I can shed delicious tears over them in the hours of the night when none but a compassionate Saviour looks upon me “a woman of a sorrowful spirit”653 even the little chairs I touch gently, when I try to bring them into use for Johnies sake! he is only gone home a short time before me! why should I not feel it a sweet privilige to touch what he has so lately handled. even the little pillow I have brought to dear Jemie to support his knees when weariness & weakness has made it difficult to find a position of ease to his rheumatic limbs. Oh my Saviour let not my sojourn in this back room be abused by me that I venture into sinful indulgence of grief, when my soul should rejoice that Thou has secured my “little one” from further suffering, but grant that each visit here in the attendance upon a sick bed of any dear to me, may yeild me opportunities for examing where on my hopes of a hereafter rest, may lead me more to study thy will that it may become my sanctification. I count all things as nought in comparison to the knowledge of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.654 I have read to Jemie to divert his weariness & pain. he is beginning to recover his appetite. he sleeps better as his fever & thirst are decreasing. We keep 15 deg of heat in his room, & of course I am often enough awake to watch the fire that it never goes out.

Saturday Jan 30ƫGradually has my darling patient been convalescing all the week, and this morning walked across the floor, what cause for thankfulness, that tho this attack began with such alarming symptoms it has been less protracted than any other preceding of rheumatism. he has been allowed to amuse himself - while seated in Mơ Maxwells great chair,655 with his pencil. and I have read aloud to him, his sisters and his dear fathers visits occasionally during the day have given variety, and he has had appetite to enjoy “manna cassia656 & milk” for breakfast or roast chicken & jelly for dinner. He has not taken a dose of medicine during this attack. Doct R has avoided every remedy which was not soothing. he has only had a cough mixture, or a sleeping powder the first nights which were most miserable, but great care has been required in his diet. During this fortnight of dear Jemies illness Willie has been profiting by his kind Sisters instructions in the study & by the mild, bright, weather for being upon the Neva skating in the recess. One day I walked down the quai to be a spectator of the English skating ground, & enjoyed it exceedingly it was mild bright weather, the part of the river hedged round by ever greens, is a very large oblong & kept so smooth by scraping & sweeping daily & pouring water over to freeze at night it looks like a clear mirror. I thought our Willies skating very tolerable as he glided across the great sqaure of the English ground upon seeing me standing watching his movements from the quai, he suddenly seated himself upon one of the benches & calling to a Mujic to unstrap his skates he was soon running towards me - to beg for fifteen copeecks silver657 to buy a hockey stick. He reports daily the kindness of the gentlemen skaters in teaching him, & particularly young Mr Merriellees658 who condescends to play ball with him. Willie finds it difficult to persuade himself to leave such facinating society to come home in time to be ready four our dinner at four oclock. but he brings a famous relish for it from this fine exercise, indeed Willie has quite regained his bloom this fortnight & I feel that it would be more severe upon me to send my boys back now to school than it was when they entered, for then we were all well - and since then such a blank! besides the experiment has dissappointed our expectations, any advantage in the way of study has been at too great a sacrifice, that of health most apparent, but I tremble also for morals. I beg their father earnestly, that they may remain at home under my care & their gentle Sisters tuition where their habits to virtue will be strengthened, & their gradual progress more sure in the end. We received letters by the Cambria which left Boston on the 1ƪof this month, last monday. that from our dear George659 has excited an uneasiness which cannot be dissipated until the next steamer a month off yet – may bring us more cheering tidings from our dear Son. May God direct & comfort him & may the next report be that his health is restored. When I allowed Debo the perusal of my dear Mothers letter660 to me she remarked as she returned it “how beautifully Grandmother expresses herself & her letters are so full of home details they are the most satisfactory we get” Yes I often think how remarkable such letters are from an old lady of seventy, for the neatness of the caligraphy is as extraordinary as the clearness of the ideas, & original beauty of the sentences. My precious Mother! may we yet enjoy years at home together, when it will be my delightful privilige to smooth away the cares from which I would my honoured parent might be free in the down-hill of life. Oh that I had it in my power to obey the impulses of my heart & cheer her at this distance by contributing to the comforts of my brother Charles. The letters from Irving Place661 told of the “merry Christmas” there, & my dear brother William in the midst of his family circle made their enjoyment without alloy. But what a severe winter they are having in my native land in comparison to ours in Russia thus far, and in England & even in the south of Europe the papers mention more suffering from cold than we have in this really frozen region. but this winter has been even more exempt from winds here than ever, the only day when I have suffered from cold in going out, was the day of the funeral of Miss Funks sister.662 we have not had our January thaw either, the sleding has been excellent & the skating on the Neva also, yet mild & blessed as has been this season for the poor (& there are more than usual on the list, from persons out of employment finding it impossible to obtain bread for their families, clothing the Dorcas society663 has bountifully distributed. our friends the Gellibrands & Ropes being most active members - yet the moisture of the atmosphere–which has yeilded us such beautiful frostwork scenes - has not been as wholesome as the clear cold natural to Russia. our doctor has reported more ill than he has known at the beginning of any year before, for it is at the breaking up of the winter the hospitals are most full. Dear old MƤ Leon is very poorly, the cold she caught in crossing to church on Christmas day has confined her ever since. her friends flock to her, & the poor still obtain admission to pour their tale of sorrow into her sympathising bosom, knowing she will leave no effort untried to interest those who can “go about to do good”664 & to distribute.

Saturday morning Feb 6ƫ1847.665 During this week I have been so incessantly attending upon my dear Jemie & Deborah as only to have been out once & that was last Monday666 to see my respected & beloved old friend MƤLeon. I had sent Mary to her several days to evince the regard I felt, for doct Rogers reported her failing strength from day to day. & at 83 years “when the grasshopper proves a burden”667 we could scarcely expect even her extraordinarily good constitution to be restored to aught like health. she received me with her usual affection tho it was not easy for her to assume cheerfulness, her cough distressing her & general debility pervading. I offered Marys services by night or day. but as has ever been my own dear Mother - she felt too unwilling to give trouble & has ever been as conspicuous for her neatness and love of order, she embraced me as that dear mother would have done upon my short call being ended tho as I kissed her mouth, she said “Oh dont my dear” I suppose from the dread of infecting me with her cough. The weather had suddenly become so intensely cold (15 deg below zero Farnheit that I could not bear to keep horses or coachman waiting as long as I could have liked to stay besides my invalids at home wanted me. Willie had been seized with one of his attacks of stomach disorder on the evening before & his father had taken him again to be in his room for dear Jemie was not so quiet with me away from him at night. Debo had caught cold in a short walk she took mild as the weather still was on Saturday.668 Every body rails at this atmosphere of St Petersburgh, they say the swamp it is founded upon was never intended for any inhabitants but wolves & bears! certainly people of all classes but especially young girls lose what health they bring to this imperial city & soon assume the appearance of the natives of southern latitudes in my own country. Our dear daughter not feeling able to execise under a fur shube as she would do with garments suited to a less severe climate has become very fragile, losing appetite & inclination to sleep. this slight cold has brought her to such a feeble state we have suffered great anxiety for her this whole week. I divided my time between her room & Jemies, until she became better & he alas much worse, for a blister has been applied to his chest & his nervous irritability returning I have feared to leave his bed-side. he has been almost in a sitting posture in bed that he might have freer respiration, for two nights I have watched his sleeplessness anxiously. And yet uneasy about his dear Sister being left so much alone in her nervous, low state, I felt thankful that she could leave her room yesterday & well cloaked up I brought her to Jemies where I can watch over these two of my hearts treasures during the long night, & they help to cheer each other in the day. Willie is again well enough to come to table, & amuses himself with Mary & Phedocia in the sewing room as he has no lessons this week & the cold has been too intense for anyone to skate. I am thankful to record that it has moderated during the night, my dear husband having been obliged to leave us directly after breakfast to drive to Alexandrofsky, yesterday he was out much in his open sledge & on calling upon Col Kraffts,669 he stopped him ere welcoming to have his face rubbed with snow as he detected Jack Frosts finger marks on Whistlers nose & cheeks. our poor Coacher from having been kept hours on his box suffered seriously. my humane husband does not forget man or beast & advised Nicoli to drive into a stable to shelter the ponies & warm himself, but “nichevoo” was the cheerful response of the hardy Russian, and it was not till the exposure to cold in attendance upon his master was over, that he submitted his phiz to our good natured Arnooshka670 for some cooks=grease to soften its frozen condition, the cold happily for him has decreased from 16 to 1 deg Rom– I have wished much to be able to call at the parsonage of the American chapel these few days past, for the sad reports I have of Mrs Ellerbys nursery make me yearn to see her cherub Emily again. that little one so associated with my own angel Johnie, so nearly the same day of their birth, so much resembling each other in beauty & loveliness I cling to, & yet feel how selfish to wish to detain such here below who are “of the kingdom of heaven.”671 little darling Emmy has been extremely ill from croup & is still. Elizabeth Ropes interrupted me just as I had written this far while they were cleaning Jemies room & I had stationed myself in the Chancellery to write that Willie might amuse himself with painting landscapes to surprise Jemie afterwards - And now it is an hour before our tea time & we are finishing our morning efforts in the drawing-room while his dear father is sitting between the two dear invalids in the far back chamber. I learnt from Elizabeth today of the death of my revered old acquaintance MƤLeon.672 her last words were to Mrs Gellibrand yesterday morning “I hope–I hope!” she gradually became weaker & in the evening when her happy spirit took its flight it was without a throe or a struggle. Doct Rogers was paying his last visit just when the summons came for her departure from this world of trial, he had feared her suffering much at the last, when he saw her yesterday morning. & it must have been a cause of thankfulness to him to witness her peaceful sleep in the arms of death. Doct Rogers was one of the dear old ladys favorites, may God reward him for all his attention to one among the many he attends without earthly compensation. during her illness of last Summer how many times she spoke to me of all his kindness, his respectful attentions, his generous & ingenious pleas for getting all her medicines for her at his apothecaries & then avoiding any settlement with her– at that time God was preparing her for this last sickness no doubt, as her general excellent health was then broken she was obliged to retire more even from her small circle of friends & depend upon the consolations of religion. her dependence upon the righteousness of Christ was entire, she walked humbly with her God & “she did what she could”673 in His service, being lowly in her own eyes we have full confidence that He has exalted her to the place prepared for those to whom the Judge will say “well done good & faithful servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”674 May my end be like hers. Never while memory lasts shall mine cease to revive the profitable hours I have spent in this dear Mrs Leons society, for her experience was valuable as was her advice to my children. how fond she was of my little Johnie! & he of Grandma Leon! how shocked she was at my losing him & how soon she has followed him to where all who confess Him here, will be united in Christ Jesus. Doct Rogers who studies every case with great attention was an hour with us today examining our dear James lungs because of many unfavorable symptoms this week, I was detaining a messenger of Mrs Frank Bairds quite unconscious what the contents of the elegant note675 I held in my hand or from whom, while my heart & head were both aching, as I was engaged in the interesting discussion of my dear boys symptoms, after he had left the sick chamber to question me privately. so many sleepless nights as I have had of late have contributed to make me nervous & I found it a difficult task to answer a polite note of invitation to join a party this evening rather for Debo to join the “at home” at the elegant Mrs Bairds than myself, for I excused myself from attending any, when she called the other day upon us. I had it in my power then to confer a favor upon her by lending the beautiful new foot stool which Mr Winans has lately had made for me - as a model for one to secure her against cold feet in driving about, the Bairds have been uniformly attentive to us & I really congratulated myself upon having it in my power to serve this lady who is in delicate health tho so gay & had searched in vain for a foot stove. But as to her parties I politely declined any infringement upon our quiet family=circle=at homes=truly, for Saturday night, expressing a readiness when dear Debos health should admit to meet her convenience for any other of the five evenings of the week. In this & other cities on the continent of Europe where the Lords day is scarcely reserved for sacred duties, I know my Yankee habit of shutting the business & pleasures of the world from my family circle on Saturday evening would be deemed rather strict, yet I cannot but believe it right to do as we pray on the last day of the week, that all worldly cares may be banished from our minds that we may serve the Lord without distraction on His holy day. & surely one cannot attend a gay scene without involving all the injury of late hours (to servants included who surely ought to have their rest after six days labour. “It is written” that the day of the Crucifixion was the Preparation,676 the day before the sabbath, and should Christians be careless to take advantage of this observance of Gods peculiar people! Thus it becomes us to fulfil all righteousness,677 It is so usual to prepare for any fête day, that even members of Christs flock who participate in these pastimes do as others & give many thoughts & conclude arrangements beforehand, to avoid confusion, or loss of time in entering upon the recreation, even tho new schemes of pleasure succeed they are not indifferent as to the anticipated arrangements. But “the children of this world are wiser in their generation”678 & alas there are few indeed of Christs flock who are as persevering in seeking eternal pleasures, as these are in their eager pursuit after evanescent joys which refresh not the votary, who still pursues them in his search after happiness. Oh that the early habits I strive to give my children may secure them from some of the evils arising from temptations to banish preparation for the sabbath from weekly arrangements. if I could perfect my plan Saturday evening should always be reverted to by us all with the most heartfelt satisfaction of all the six evenings of the week. for surely it could not even be condemned by the world that a family circle should unite in improving each other, with so many interesting memoires or histories to read aloud, after which sacred music would yeild variety & excite devotional feeling, to induce a willingness for family devotion & reading a chapter from the best of books. God would bless us, by giving us yeilding us suitable dispositions for enjoying the succeeding Sabbaths.

Monday [February] 8ƫ As my invalids were late in rising I found it impossible to attend public worship but it was more important Mary should hear Doct Laws sermon in aid of her suffering countrymen & the poor Scotch. Our good Doct made his visit early enough to admit of his going to church which he cannot often, because of his number of sick to visit, but as a Scotsman it was a peculiar duty that he should listen to the charity sermon & give of his abundance to the starving of Ireland & Sctoland.679 My Willie felt happy in nearly emptying his poors purse that he might put in his mite, & Mary received from Jemie his, to add to her own. My husband reported to us how crowded was the church & how touching the truths revealed by the pastor, on the ladys side sobs were audible & even many men wept. we have heard today of a young lady who took off her watch to put in the poors purse another in the same pew kindly offered to lend her money supposing her unprepared & that she might afterwards regret the sacrifice of her watch & trinkets, no she replied “I do not need it” & quietly yeilded it up among the offerings. the collection was about eighteen hundred siver rubles, but this would be paltry in comparison to the collection of six hundred at the Chapel from Mr Ellerbys small & not rich congregation, if it were not understood that the british merchants, who generally belong to Doct Laws church are to meet to deliberate upon measures for more extensive subscriptions. Deborah appeared so much better in the afternoon I went to church leaving Mary to aid her in taking care of dear Jemie who is only able to change from bed to the great arm chair. As I had read & prayed with him & dear Sister in the morning, so after our early tea we had a family service for his benefit in his room. I selected another of Arnolds680 sermons after the reading in the bible & our devotions. And what had the multitude been interested in before the Imperial palace? yesterday was the commencement of the amusements in that great square for this is what is called the butter week, or that preceding Lent. poor deluded people! how imperious is the duty that those who have the lamp of Gods word should let their light shine to guide these darkened souls into the path of wisdom. Oh that the English who can speak in their tongue would venture a word too in season, instead of winking at these errors, & many alas participate in them. May God teach them better ere it be too late.

Tuesday night [February] 9ƫ681 Watching by my darling James bedside I incline to avail of the stillness of midnight for recording the mercies of Him who never wearies in His Omniscience. May His holy Spirit fill my soul with adoration ere I seek Him in prayer this night. My precious invalid had more refreshing sleep last night than since his relapse, he had suffered exceedingly the past week from blistering, & pain in his chest & side, which induced debility & restlessness. but yesterday I took a drive with Debo - my last had been a week previous, to visit dear old Mrs Leon - today at noon Whistler & I went to her funeral!682 it was very respectably attended. many wept to think they should see her in this world no more! MƢ & Mrs Gellibrand her constant friends these many years past, were among the mourners. I drove after the funeral to enquire at the parsonage of the Chapel, how Mrs Ellerbys darling baby did & was thankful to find her improving. On my return home Debo took some young friends a long drive in our sledge, the weather was so mild & bright, she looked quite revived by it, tho still she is feeble & pale. Willie having been a good boy at his books with Sister during the morning, also went out, & preferred walking with Mary, that he might see the amusements in the square. They met the other two little Ellerbys & their nice English nursery maid, who has so long been shut up with the sick baby she must have been glad of the walk with the elder two little girls. It is time for me to seek my pillow tho I am not inclined to sleep. how refreshing it is to me to watch the sweet slumber James has fallen into, he has not looked so natural in a long time, since this attack his sitting posture, propped by many pillows & his extreme palor has recalled his illness in Stonington683 to my minds eye. with thankfulness that this has been less severe tonight it was my painful task to apply the pomade684 upon his chest where the blister has just healed. how hard for a mother to give pain to a child! which she would wish to screen from all suffering by any endurance herself. But our heavenly Fathers ordains the trial for us both. May He bless the means for my dear boys recovery. & sanctify the discipline to us both. Never can I cease to recal with joy the spirit of cheerful submission of my darling James to his privations in this back chamber, consecrated as it has become by scenes of trial to me. Especially yesterday his unmurmuring endurance of confinement while Willie was enjoying all the spectacle of the Carnival. he was so free from envy.

Saturday evening. Feb 27ƫ685 The occasional replies to letters, or daily notes which could not without rudeness be avoided, has been the only writing I could attend to without depriving James of my participation in his enjoyments, for whether reading, or looking thro books of engravings he has so much more satisfaction from my listening to his remarks, that unless when I have engaged his interest in some of my own reading aloud to him, he has claimed mine in the little vanity afforded him in the back room. Each evening between dinner & tea for some days I indulged him with a tale relating to a family in New York, because it combines instruction with amusement. “Hoboken” by Mr Fay686 now Secretary of our legation at the court of Prussia displays principles of the highest order, & has my best wishes for doing its proportion of good in discountenancing duelling & in supporting the argument of scripture that the fear of God, & the love of immortal souls, is the course of true courage & honor. If God spares the life of my boys I trust they will never forget the lessons early instilled & that they may dare to confess themselves Christians. that they may not by acting without asking Gods direction in prayer upon each stirring event, bring the curse of remorse upon their souls. Never shall I cease to record with thankfulness dear Jemies unmurmuring submission these six weeks of his suffering confinement, the doct does not yet consent to using his pencil, which is a great privation - but while pain lingers as it still does in his chest, my darling patient himself agrees that his favorite pastime may be injurious. he begins now to walk some about his room. tho still cannot wear jacket & trowsers, as the blistering is continued on the chest. I altered a dressing gown (which had descended from me to his sister, doing excellent service from the date of his own birth) & it fits him so nicely, he is delighted to wear it when he sits up & says it is “first rate”. What a blessing is such a contented temper as his, he is so grateful for every kindness, & scarcely ever expresses a complaint. his sweet Sister - in whose visits to his chamber he delights - borrowed for him a huge volume of Hogarths engravings687 - of those pictures so famous in the gallery of artistes, we place the immense book on the bed & draw Mr Maxwells great easy chair close up that dear Jemie may feast upon it without fatigue. I expressed surprise to hear him say yesterday while thus engaged, “Oh! how I wish I were well” & said to him I hoped he was not getting impatient of seclusion. “Oh no Mother! he answered cheerfully, “I was only thinking how glad I should be to shew this book of engravings to my drawing master, it is not every one who has a chance of seeing Hogarths own engravings of his originals. & then he added in his own happy way “And if I had not been ill Mother, perhaps no one would have thought of shewing them to me” his dear, kind father is now teaching him chess while I occupy the drawing688 alone, before tea. I sat by Jemie after dinner, reading him M Maxwells letter received by todays mail, it contained the touching account of his having attended to the interment of our precious Johnies body. he had taken it to Stonington himself, thus adding to his friendly actions towards us.689 I have looked forward thro this whole month to the treat of letters from home by the Steamer of the 1st if my Mother or Kate wrote, it was too late for the mail probably, as Whistler & Debo have many letters from New York. thus deprived of my private supply of home news, I am the more indebted to Mr Maxwell for his particular mention of all at the dear corner house, all well! hospitable & kind, Doct P – he calls “a fine fellow, his wife one of the amiable & excellent kind, his children such pictures of health it did his heart good to look at them, & MƤ Mc N their grandmother an astonishing lady”690 So now I must hope on thro another long month to see the welcome hand writing of either mother, or Sister. When my head presses my pillow this night I may visit in memory the resting place of our boys at Stonington! for night by night it is my melancholy indulgence to recal them from their narrow beds there to surround me, I think of them as they were, & as they are! yearning to go to them, yet trying only to wish that God may give me grace to improve my alotted term this side the grave, to be ready to follow them. I suppose I have the same desire for heavenly scenes, as my enthusiastic little Jemie has for travelling thro Italy, Egypt &c, yet when looking thro a volume of American sketches today to gratify him, I felt natural longings to visit the beautiful places of our own native land with my children, & to see again ere I bid adieu to earth, the many I love there, tho so painfully feeling this four years separation from Mother, Sisters & friends, my most forvent hope is that our hearts are united in love to our Saviour then we shall have consolation, even if death overtake us, that our meeting shall be in heavenly mansions, to part no more, forever! & ever. Ah how can any one professing to love Jesus, so love this worlds enticements as to let its follies, prevent their honoring Him supremely before all the world! “Who so loveth the world, the love of the Father is not in him”691 Ah do those who indulge in worldy vanities, forget the divine admonition “to strive to enter in at the straight gate, & to keep the narrow path?”692 “Be ye seperate from the world.”693 Holy Spirit quicken us in repentence unto newness of life!694 My excellent friend MƤ Gellibrand who is ever active in benevolence & christian duty has added to her routine, since the death of our respected MƤ Leon, the settlement of her affairs, as the beloved old lady had outlived all her relatives Mr & Mrs G seem most interested to execute her wishes, her furniture & clothing to be sold for the poor or distributed to the few of her pensioners. It was I well remember her humble yet exalted aim to do all the good in her power. “She has done what she could”695 was among her favorite texts. Mr Gellibrand wishes some one could write the memoires of this remarkable old lady, it would indeed be very interesting, even the few items I have become intimate with, will ever be pleasant reminiscences, because I shall always associate her own lively manner & intellectual remarks, her high regard for traits of good encountered in her extensive knowledge of the world.696 she was the neice of the discoverer of Vaccination, Doct Jenner697 - her maiden name having been the same, when a very young girl - she was an only child & her father a man of superior endowments had educated her with undivided attention to intellectual accomplishments - while her mother added practical instruction in the art of housewifery &c - she accompanied her Uncle to Paris & was so much in the same circle as our Franklin698 who was them American ambassador at the court of France, that he always addressed her as his child, she could relate many anecdotes connected with the sufferings of the Royal family of Louis 16ƫ & had been eye witness to many exciting scenes of public interest. Whether she was introduced at the court in either of her visits to the french capital I did not ascertain, but her usual deportment shewed she had been accustomed to the best society. Her husband was an officer in the British Army, she lived in the West Indies & at other stations abroad, & her travels used to remind me of those of my own Mother. Upon the death of her father, her husband & her children, her aged mother having only a limited income, & herself without independent support, she sought to make her talents useful & was recommended by a lady of her acquaintance among the English nobility, to a very distinguished Polish family699 who were then seeking an English governess for their daughter Olga. Mrs Leon went to their princely home in Poland where they remained awhile, but eventually came to St Petersburg to complete the education of their children. they occupied a Palace700 - which is now converted into a charitable institution, for it is forty years since the beautiful Countess gave her fêtes there - thus Mrs Leon was accustomed to meet the court circle of Imperial St Petersburg for she was usually mistress of ceremonies, she was familiar with the reigns of Paul & of Alexander as of the present Emperor & abounded in anecdotes of each in turn. she never wearied of talking about the graces of mind & person of the beautiful, the charitable, the generous high-minded noble Countess. & was enthusiastic in her admiration & attachment to her own pupil Olga. but at the time this noble family must leave St P to travel, Mrs Leon met with a fall, which caused a temporary lameness & prevented her accompanying them. Tho a sad dissappointment to her at the time, no doubt it will be seen in the state of rewards in a world where trials are fully comprehended – that it was wisely ordered that her prosperity should be darkened that her whole dependence might be placed on her Saviour. For her savings also thro the dishonesty of an agent were lost to her – and she had in every situation of her life managed to contribute to the comforts of her mother – As she never of course gave me any direct narrative of her chequered life, of course I cannot be sure, but I think she took a situation in the Naarishkin701 family upon her recovery from the sprain which had been so serious as to confine her two years. during which period of privation she realized the comfort of having many true friends among her own Countrymen here.

In course of time she was induced to undertake the office of house keeper to Mr Gellibrand – previous to his first marriage702 & when he resided in Moscow – she remained five years in that capacity & from all accounts few ever manage admirably as did Mrs Leon, in the drawing room & larder, —I have listened to her tell of her nice dinner & wish now I had noted down some of her receipts. After Mr G brought a wife from England, she took no other situation, but aided by the English Factory here, lived respected in private lodgings, going about doing good among the poor, or visiting her few intimate friends, the usual employment when spending the day out. was making lint for the hospitals. & how neat she was about it, with the linen cut in squares, & every shred so carefully kept from the carpet. MƤ Snow703 kindly invited the dear old lady to remove to her home last Autumn, for the decay of nature was visible, & her last year in the Galernia had been one of comparitive seclusion from a painful disorder attacking her. How much we all miss our revered visiter!

Saturday morning March 1/13ƫ Before our Pratchka704 brings up the baskets of clothes from our fortnights wash for me to sort & put away, I may scribble awhile in my journal – as Willie recited his lessons to me previous to his going to sit for his portrait to Koritzky at the Academy of Fine Arts.705 Whistler has gone again to the rail road station. expecting to meet the Count & accompany him to Colpina, tho I shall not be surprised to learn, his Highness706 having again postponed his survey of the road, as he has several days in succession found an excuse, & today there being a royal christening at the winter palace his presence may be in requisition there. the infant Grand Duke of the Leughtenberg branch is to named Eugene,707 with the usual grand ceremony. I went last tuesday708 with my Willie to witness the funeral procession of the Prince Vassiltchikoff a person of the highest rank at the Russian court – he was aged 69 years, “was Aide-camp General – President General &c of the Empire” & one in whom the Emperor had such confidence, he remarked at his death he had lost his last familiar friend.709 We did not venture within the church, but our coachman selected an excellent stand for our sledge, where the suns power was not lost upon us, the weather being extremely cold we were glad not only to be in a favorable position for seeing the procession, but for a sheltered warm place. we had a fine view of the Emperor & his suite both as they passed thro the military on their way to the church & coming out. his majesty was saluted with a stunning hizza by all the troops & then silence reigned, he looked nobly in full uniform & wore no cloak, cold tho the weather was. The Metropolitan or Pope of the Greek church with all the high Clergy preceded the gorgeously decorated hearse, all of them walking in solemn procession bare=headed with their long hair flowing in the wind, the Metropolitan only, wore a jewelled crown, about twenty orders which had been worn no doubt with pride by the distinguished man whom the Emperor had delighted to honor – were carried by as many officers of rank, upon scarlet, or crimson, velvet cushions. the coffin was covered with scarlet & gold, a high canopy of gilded ornament exposing it to view. The Emperor crossed himself repeatedly as he gave a last look at the remains of his faithful old friend, for the weather did not encourage him to follow in the procession to the Smolna Monastery,710 where the burial was appointed, he therefore stationed himself at the head of the Nevski (leading to his own palace & received the salute of the cavalry as they passed after the hearse, we had an excellent view of him as he was thus motionless as a statue for about fifteen minutes, his brother the Grand Duke Michel, the Herétier, the Count Klienmichel & others of the Imperial family around him. The Emperor & suite dashed down the Nevski as soon as the procession crossed it, servants stationed there took their horses while they no doubt were glad to take to their equipages which had been in waiting, for the cold was intense. Willie & I were twice glad when we reached our home, that we had seen so grand a pageant & that it was over, for our faces were nearly frost bitten. I had never had so satisfactory a sight of the magnificent Emperor before, so close to him & for such a length of time. when I reached home, I was welcomed by dear Jemie, who has all this week gone to the drawing room for half the day, his father was keeping him company on the sofa, from having caught a severe cold some days before indeed Debo & I will not soon forget when her dear father was detained from us so many anxious hours when we had waited dinner & tea in vain, and at last midnight overtook us & we were still watching & fearing some sad accident, he reached our fire side at one oclock, had had nothing to eat from early breakfast with us, until midnight at Mr Harrisons at Alexandrofsky, tho only a snow drift on a part of the rail road from thence to Colpina had detained them,711 I hoped he might be spared another day of such exposure to cold, the poor Russians who work on the road are all serfs, badly clad & not in any way efficient, they are whipped if they run into difficulties in working the Engine which thro their ignorance they often do & no rewards are held out to them if they do better, their fare black bread & salt, yet Whistler says he never saw more cheerful fellows, tho those who understand them best – Russians themselves – say they are but ye712 servants & must be watched & beaten. but Whistler thinks they must – to succeed with their road – adopt a more civilized system. I was very much astonished by a summons to our servants apartments yesterday to see poor Parsha,713 when she went away with her husband last autumn to his mothers cottage 700 versts on the road to Archangel I thought we should never see her in this world again, she was then in miserable health & he appeared to be in the prime of manhoods vigour, now she is a widow! he was ill only a week. her own health has been restored & his widowed mother is kind to her, so she is going back to live with her for a year, to pray over her husbands grave she says, & then to enter a convent, for life! poor Parsha & I mingled our tears.

Wednesday March 23ƨ On friday last my husband took Debo & myself across the river to see the highly extolled paintings being exhibited all last week at the Academy of fine arts. the production of Russian Artists714 most of them purchased by the Emperor for his palace, most beautiful they are, marine peices, one in which is pourtrayed Peter the Great standing on a rocky coast with a few trusty peasants bearing torches. the light from these thrown upon his figure & theirs is wonderful. they have fires blazing upon the rocks as if to warn the fleet in the storm, to keep of from so dangerous a shore. For this successful effort of the native Artist the Emperor has given him 4000 silver rubles.715 Views of Constantinople – of Odessa upon the Black Sea – of Cronstadt & other sea ports upon which the sun gilds the water magnificently or the moonbeams play upon the waves716 all delighted us in turn. I only regretted dear James could not have accompanied us. the crowd was so great we did not stay as long as we should have liked & Mr & Mrs Harrison717 whom we met there accompanied us home & spent the day. Willie & Mary were just entering the Academy as we left it, our darling Will had been in Koritzkies room in the 3rd story of that building all the morning sitting for his portrait.718 In the evening of friday Debo had a musical circle. Saturday the weather continued so bright & mild I obtained the docts consent to taking James a drive, his first airing in nine weeks!719 the sledging is now nearly broken up for the thaw has continued uninterrupted for a week past. Willie & I walked directly after breakfast today & made the circuit of the Gostinandva. great preparations for the Palm market which commences tomorrow720 – We met several Droshkys in the Nevski, the first this season – Jemie is now taking a promenade with his Sister on the English quai. his father not yet returned from Alexandrofsky, he went there upon the rail road in attendance upon a party from the Winter palace. the Grand Duke Michel & staff, have gone to visit the American works.721 during the last fortnight Whistler has been incessantly required to be upon the peice of rail road 16 miles long been722 St Petersburg & Colpina, because of the desire expressed by the Count Klienmichel to have every thing connected with it in complete order for a visit from the Emperor – first the Count went himself & was well pleased, with the fabric at Alexandrofsky as with the ease with which he travelled thither upon the rail road. such a bright array of fine Locomotives as were exhibited at the works were no every day sight, 108 in number, freshly painted & cleaned. Our countrymen expended about three thousand silver rubles in preparations for the oft deferred visit of the Emperor. however last Wedesday723 they were fully compensated for all their trouble by the entire satisfaction he expressed, he was attended of course by the Count K as he is chief of the rail road department – the Héretier, the Grand duke Constantine & many of the Court, my husband was distinguished by an invitation to ride in the car with this royal cortége. the Emperor was exceedingly affable towards him, & put the question to him “could the rail road be opened to Moscow in two years more? Whistler answered in the affirmative without hesitation. The very possibility of such an event makes my heart bound homeward! & I do trust every facility will be given to the progress of the work henceforward. it is the only favor I would ask the Emperor. Winans was Engineer on the day of his majestys visit. At the works a wheel was cast in the Imperial presence, which is to bear the date &c in a suitable inscription. The Cars, the Locomotives, the shops & the hundreds of workmen appearing to the best advantage, were subjects by turns of the Emperors eulogium, when he spoke of the latter as fine fellows he added “but they will get drunk sometimes! what a pity they make beasts of themselves!” The day after his visit to the American works.724 the Count held a levee, my husband having been invited, went with a supply of documents for the Count supposing (as he had previously urged despatch) they would be demanded but by the advice of his friend Col Melnikoff, put them in a corner till called for. When the Count summoned Whistler to a private audience in an inner apartment, he met him with marked kindness, kissed him on each side his face & hung an ornament, suspended by a scarlet ribbon around his neck, saying, the Emperor thus conferred upon him the order of St Anne – second class –725 Whistler, as such honors are new to republicans – felt abashed when he returned with the Count to the large circle in the outer room & was congratulated by the officers generally - even the servants as he went out of the palace congratulated him - his friends Cols Melnikoff & Crafts were promoted to the rank of Major GenƝ726 Our countrymen from Alexandrofsky have brought in the magnificent diamond ring each has received from the Emperor, to exhibit to us, the three rings have been made for them purposely. for they are precisely alike & each valued at a thousand silver rubles.727 I tell them they should have them converted into broaches, for their wives – tho I am sure I should feel such a jewel inappropriate to my own retired station & could not be tempted to wear such.

[Thursday] April 15ƫ728 The Influenza rages in this city at present, we have had four cases in our limited family circle, but thank God my dear husband is again so far recovered as to go out & attend to his duties, & our precious boys tho still taking cough medicine are well enough to study & to play in doors tho they must not venture into the damp atmosphere, our poor Pratchka still keeps her bed, she was so ill last Saturday as to send for her pastor who administered the Sacrament to her & her friends who wept around her bed supposing she must die. Doct Rogers has himself been a case, he says he has not any season before known this epidemic so violent or universal, not a family he attends without its victims & so suddenly are they seized, that a gentleman told him one day, where he expected to meet a large dinner party 30 excuses were sent in at the last hour. GenƝ Melnikoff had just left a friend dying with Grip when he called to ask after Whistler this morning & he tells many are daily dying from its effects, he himself had high fever & was delirious. Debo & I went in our neighbourhood yesterday to make a few visits, for all our acquaintance have some sick Sarah Merriellees729 is still dangerously so. & her mother & aunt so exhausted from watching they have a Soeur de Charité to nurse the dear girl whose fever is obstinate & delirium continues. I have offered, now that my invalids need me not, to relieve the watchers around her bed — And this moment have had a note describing the accumulation of sorrows pressing upon that good family, Sarah no better. Mrs M confined to her bed, two of their servants ill & two leaving their posts. also the Sœur de Charité so unwell she must go too. I wait my husbands return to gain his consent to my aiding them by watching tonight. Debo & I ventured only to the front door this morning intending a walk, but we met our good doct, who recommended an umbrella, we turned back frightened by the shower of half snow, half rain. which drenches the streets, the ice in the Neva looks so black & spongey it must soon break up. It is needless to rail against the climate tho a Russian officer said to me today “how can any be healthy in this climate, we have six deg of heat today & had fifteen deg of cold day before yesterday”730

[Monday] May 10ƫ We remarked to each other yesterday as we sought the shady side to walk from church the great change in the weather since the Sunday before731 when we were glad to wrap our shubes around us. The ice in the Neva very unexpectedly began to yeild on tuesday & entirely broke up on Wednesday.732 immediately upon its dissappearance the air felt like Summer. On Friday733 I ventured to take my boys out to walk how glad we all were to have their long embargo over, we walked along the quai (& were hailed by Mrs Gwyer734 who sat by her open window) I took my boys thro the boulevard of the Admiralty for we had heard of the Emperors daily reviews, in the space between that & the Winter palace, we pressed close to two officers who were making their way thro the crowd & obtained a good place. a gentleman decorated with many Orders was very flattering in his notice of our little, polite, Willie, who replied to his questions in french promptly tho with becoming modesty. We had as fine a view of the Emperor reviewing a regiment of [blank space left for its name]735 as any one could have across so wide a space, soon we observed a lady & children upon one of the balconies of the palace kissing their hands to the emperor & then perceived a little boy of about five years of age run from the palace to the Emperor, who lifted him to kiss many times & continued to shake his little grand sons hand as he went on with the review. This the eldest born of the Héritier will be seated on the throne of all the Russias if he survives his father, who is quite young still.736 The Journal last week announced the betrothal of the Grand Duke Constantine to a princess of Germany.737 which country seems to be the nursery for all the crowned heads of Europe to keep up the seed of royalty. Again this spring there has been a christening at the Winter Palace chapel, another son to, the Heritiér.738 with cannonading & illumination succeeding a banquet

[Wednesday] May 19ƫ I did not forget this anniversary of my dear husbands birthday, tho I had nothing but a kiss to offer him, never shall I forget how tenderly he returned my embrace, my heart was too full for utterance but I could pour it ought in thanks to God for giving me such a husband & pray for blessings on his path. Oh how earnestly do I pray our hearts may be united in our Saviour, then our love for each other & for our dear children will take a deeper a holier hue, then shall we be one throughout Eternity We had a circle of neighbours around our fireside last evening.739 dear Mrs Gellibrand whispered me her best wishes for many returns of this day, as she drank the majors health. When Debo & I came in from a walk today how surprised we were to find gifts from her dear father to each of us, for her a splendid work box, a musical one, with her first gold thimble, for me as beautiful a desk, as my first Russian Christmas gift was, completely filled with the finest writing materials.740 but gratified as I feel by Whistlers kindness, the fact of having lost the other will make me too careful of this to enjoy it, I shall ask him to allow me to change the desk for a watch, which will be always carried about me. I must not omit to mention the neat french notes our dear boys wrote their father on his birth day741 & presented with suitable gifts which I had bought as the Demidoff742 to gratify their wish for something to give! We shall always remember the opening of the first 16 miles of the Moscow & Petersburg rail road to the public as it took place upon Whistlers 47ƫ birth day.743 all winter Cars have been running upon it, but only for the convenience of the rail road department.

Wednesday [May] 21ƪ744 The weather has been unseasonably cold for many days, since the passing of vast quanitities of ice from Lake Ladoga. I never saw as much any season before, the winds have been unfavorable to its passing from the harbour, where quite a fleet of merchant vessels have been hemmed in, many suffering seriously, some wrecked & all dreading being run ashore. the report has been that 300 were waiting to get in to Cronstadt,745 Mr Prince has been most uneasy about the fate of the Zephyr. Capt Leach - in which his brother Ben is 2nd Mate.746 The English Steamers arrived today, their first trip this season, & the Stettin boat brought not only our Ambassador MƢ Ingersoll,747 but our Springfield neighbours the Bliss family748 took us by surprise. They look & act so naturally it is quite reviving to have them come into our fire side circle

Friday [May] 23ƨThis is St Nicholas day, my husband was off after a hurried breakfast (as he has been obliged several mornings this week) to be at the Depot by eight oclock – when he returned to dinner he reported that a thousand passengers had gone by the 1ƪ train, six hundred by the next. in the next train probably as many & the three trains to return this evening, makes a good beginning. The poor who resort annually to Colpina, (on this day to be cured of diseases at the shrine of this patron Saint, so the popular tradition749

Preston. Lancashire. England. June 26ƫ 1847 Saturday. It is a fortnight this afternoon750 since I landed with my dear boys at Hull from Hamburg & I must record this period ere I review the weeks which preceded our setting out from St Petersburg upon this Summers tour. The first day of our voyage from Hamburg had been so rough as to make all the passengers sea sick but myself & some cause there was for stopping the boat in the night & cooling the engine to examine it, which caused us uneasiness for a little, & detained us so that we did not land as early as the Capt had expected.751 The custom=house=officers were so polite as to give us no trouble about our trunks, they merely opened them & took our word that we had nothing to smuggle. We were made very comfortable at the Vittoria Hotel.752 having brought letters to Mr Bamford,753 from Mr Ropes, his clerk was very useful to me in exchanging Russian gold into sovereigns for me & advising about our reaching York by the mail train Sunday,754 as the last train had left Hull for Scarborough ere we arrived, & equally strangers in Hull as in York, I greatly preferred attending divine service at the latter place, so after a nice tea we went early to rest, & were called by six oclock as it would have been a sad dissappointment to have missed the only train, any but that for the mail not running on sunday. We took tickets for the 1ƪ class & thus comfortably travelled two hours before breakfast. admiring the verdure of the country, the hawthorn yet being in full bloom & all nature so lovely in the early sabbath morning. I felt we could not be doing wrong in going such a distance to church, for we knew no one in Hull to tell us where to go, & to attend York minster755 any one would make greater efforts than we did by an hours earlier rising. Arrived at the Station house756 we left our heaviest luggage to be locked up in the office, & went to the Royal Hotel757 the nearest to the Minster. “Ettridges”758 is an old establishment, my sister Eliza is delighted that I selected the very house she went to when a girl she visited York. They gave us an excellent, Yorkshire breakfast,759 after which we prepared for church. Never shall I forget the feelings of reverence with which I entered the Minster, the service just commenced.760 the pew opener gave us one of the best pews, where we could hear every part of the beautiful service equally well, the chaunting was finer than any I ever heard in english. I was glad the prayers were not chaunted & the sermon was excellent, so that I have never enjoyed the worship of the sanctuary more. My whole soul seemed melted by the goodness of God whose arm had led us safely across the seas, tho perils had menaced us the past week & I contrasted the sabbath previous to this,761 when on board the Russian steamer we had scarcely found a quiet spot to read our bibles in, & where we had seen card tables surrounded by scoffers of the Lords day. We dined early & found the young lamb & asparagus quite a treat, for when we left Russia ten days before762 not any signs of vegetation presented. Associating my early favorites Kate Prince & her Sainted Sister763 with the Manor at York we begged to be directed to its grounds & the head waiter, an old & most respectable looking man walked with us to the gate of what are now the grounds of the Museum, that we might see the ruins of St Marys Abbey764 until church time. we became so much interested we wished we had one more day to spend there, the Manor-school house where my young friends L & K P had been educated is now a school for the Blind,765 its seclusion, yet so enclosed by the extensive grounds render it a most desirable place for a seminary. the building looks like a nunery & very probably was. Oh how beautiful are the ruins of the Abbey with their drapery of Ivy in the midst of what is now a highly cultivated garden! we could scarcely persuade Jemie to leave them so eager was he to explore deeper than bare walls & fine windows. It was a showery day, yet we went again to the Minster in the afternoon. & were early enough to walk around it & see the out side of the Deans Palace.766 I was sorry the weather had not admitted of my going as I had been advised by a lady who sat in the same pew with me in the morning - to hear a Mr Treevers767 in the Pavement, & the more so, I regretted not going to hear this celebrated preacher, because the 2nd service at the minster broke the spell of the 1ƪ A spirit of worldliness was evinced by the pew opener who was rude until I gave him a shilling & then he was cringing. I felt pained too by the crowd of idle children playing on the porch ere the doors were opened to admit us. & when in the pew, ladies rudely seized the cushions from us to kneel at their devotions, & made us feel as intruders in the house of God. I thanked them for the seats we were allowed to retain, ere we left their pew. dear Jemie was so fatigued we took him back to our hotel & left him on the sofa to rest, while I took Willie & Mary to “All Saints church” but we were an hour too early & thinking that we must allot time for a good nights rest in anticipation of our early start, we felt obliged to leave this very old church tho I longed to worship in it & to profit by the eloquence of its pastor We reached Scarbro768 to breakfast. went in the 2nd class carriages tho Jemies pride was wounded by so doing. I was much diverted by the talk among the farmers who were our fellow travellers, and glad to hear there never was a better prospect of fine crops in England than this season. Oh that men would therefore praise the Lord for all his goodness & declare His works to their children!769 I was advised by a young farmer (who was going to a cattle fair ere we reached Scarbro770 – to go to the Temperance House771 there. and most comfortable we were the few hours we occupied a parlor for breakfasting & a bed room for making our toilettes. When our boys were made neat I sent them to seek Mrs Wilsons cottage No 5 on the Cliff,772 as in the list of visiters, in the journal, our landlord discovered MƦRopes lodgings to be there.773 My kind friend soon came back with my boys & was accompanied by her mother,774 we all accompanied them immediately to their cottage on the Cliff. my first hour there was devoted to writing my dear husband as the foreign mail was to close at the end of that time & MƤ R had also a letter to finish to her husband, so we sat side by side at our desks. I cannot at this distance record how our week there was spent. my boys enjoyed every thing, the weather was rather showery, but the soil soon became dry & they exercised on the beach, or upon the cliffs, walking or upon ponies, or in looking for Cornelians775 or pretty pebbles or shells. the little Rope’s out of doors from morning till night, darling Willy with his attentive Naanooshka776 always the first object to be seen on the beach as I opened my window to look out. this sweet infant is ever associated with my own angel Johnie, & what a contrast his present healthful appearence, to his frail state in SƱ Petersburg last year, when mine was so blooming! I rejoice for my friend that her Willie is such a picture of health. & I am assured that my darling is blooming in paradise.” but my tears always flowed as I felt my bereavement while MƤRopes fondled her little one. I was very far from feeling well myself at Scarbro, & thankful to be allowed to stay by the fire side alone, while all went out to benefit by the sea air. I exerted myself to walk one afternoon with dear Mrs Hall, we talked of her sainted Emily,777 this christian mother has never lamented her own loss, or attributed it to the effects of a bad climate or any evil chance she feels that God had a hidden purpose of mercy in the sudden bereavement. I never saw MƤHall’s countenance otherwise than cheerful, yet no mirth around her could excite her to laugh. love reigned in the family circle at the cottage, & we left them with regret, my heart filled with gratitude that I had been enabled to visit them & for all the kindness.

South Shore of Blackpool.778 on the Lancashire coast. July 28ƫ 1847. Wednesday. I shall begin this second day of our visit to this bathing place a review of the interval, during which I have been either too unwell to write more than my correspondence with absent dear ones required, or I have been visiting different friends who have interfered with this task. But my Sister Alicia advises me to take this opportunity for scribbling my thoughts, for she has companions in my boys & I am not quite strong enough to brave the high wind, which they say puts them in a glow as they walk upon the beach, the surf is rages. often during the last night the roaring of the waves awoke me & when I came down to breakfast this morning, Betty779 expressed the fear that our good Mary had felt the sea too rough on her voyage from Ireland to Liverpool, she left Preston more than a month ago to visit her native land, & wrote of her wish to return about this time, May God bring her in safety to us! the day before she went, she was most devoted to me for I was obliged to keep my bed, the chills which had been daily creeping thro me, ended in fever, but tho some gentle doses of medicine prescribed by doctor Winstanley780 in a measure relieved me, it was not till we were obliged to summon a surgeon781 to Jemie when we were on a visit at Mr Picards782 in Kirby Lonsdale,783 that my symptoms were deemed serious enough to warrant calomel,784 for my Sister Eliza had made up her mind my ailment was mental, it was not so entirely, for ever since that time I have been gradually gaining strength & my appetite is now as good as need be. How favored have we been in a fine season! & how abundant the provision for the suffering state of this country, made by the bountiful Giver, in this fruitful season, such crops of hay as we have seen gathered in are indeed unusual & now the corn fields are as promising of plenty, while the potatoe fields are yeilding healthy crops, & every green vegetable is cheap in the markets. God grant that His relenting goodness may make the lively impressions it ought upon the hearts of all classes in this favored land of gospel light. Well might Mr MacGrath785 say in the eloquent appeal I heard him make in the Walton church,786 that a lesson had been sent Britian in the calamities of Ireland, he touched upon the day of humiliation appointed by the queen some few months back787 – & besought them to continue their supplications to the King of kings & to study his word & walk in the fear of bringing down His judgements. he was pleading for the sunday & parish schools of Walton where he was once pastor788 with only an open bible in his hand & his arguments were irresistable. for the study of that volume was recommended as the foundation of all education. I had heard this man of God 17 years ago! My boys attention was rivetted & they did not forget the preaching of this eloquent Irish clergyman. for some weeks afterwards when we attended Worsley church at the seat of the Earl of Ellesmere & we had as impressive a discourse, they seem pleased to discover the preacher there also was an Irish protestant,789 But I must go back to the Sunday at Walton (which is only three miles from Preston) that I may not only record it as my darling Jemies 13ƫ birth day. but dwell upon the hospitality extended to us from Mr Swainsons790 family, we lunched at his house & as Mr McG is his son in law profited by his conversation between services & went back to the family pew791 to hear him preach to a full congregation of poor - in the afternoon again. We resisted an invitation to dinner for five oclock as we preferred returning home to tea. We walked thro green meadows & by the Ribble side. Aunt E had taken my boys home in her carriage, so Aunt A & I had a delightful tète a tète upon the comforts of religion & I was not fatigued by my first long walk. my boys reported to me that they had gone to Uncle Ws pew alone in the afternoon, as Aunt E could not leave her guest Mrs T Ainsworth792 alone all day, & when I heard too that many had called to pay their compliments to her, I was the more thankful I had been with those who had held religious counsel all day. both Mrs MacGrath & her sister in law Mrs W Swainson793 tho young & beautiful appear decided followers of the Lord Jesus. And so I should hope is the interesting Mrs T. A of Flosh794 for her father was a minister of the church of Scotland795 but as the wife of a Unitarian, she must not speak of the Saviour!796 her health is impaired & she has known many afflictions lately in the loss of sisters by consumption & the death of one of her own beautiful little boys.797 she has two left, of the ages of 5 & 3.798 oh that these little ones may be trained as Christs lambs! yet it is fearful to think that the christian mother may not confess Him before men, as her Lord & her God. “Yoke not yourselves to unbelievers”799 for such shall have trouble in the flesh” I must not pass over our sojourn of a week at Kirkby Lonsdale at the beginning of this month. my sister Alicia remained in Preston because the carriage would only accommodate comfortably Mr W. Aunt E my boys & self. the coachmans wife800 sometimes exchanged seats with me, that I might have a better view of the charming country thro which we journeyed, especially when we entered Westmoreland where the scenery becomes so diversified. Willie & Jemie rode by turns on the dickey with me. & George had much to say to us, for he is still a very important personage in the household of Uncle W. having been in his service thirty years. his wife Mary is one of the best attendants upon table I ever met with & her plate is the admiration of all the visiters at her masters table, she made herself equally useful at Mr Picards, where we were welcomed to an early tea. We had set out exactly at seven oclock from Preston after a very early breakfast, & as was it was in the hottest weather we have experienced, we rested three hours at Lancaster, which gave us leisure to go into the old church801 - for it happened to be open for morning prayers - & to look at the monument to the memory of L Richmonds mother in this church yard.802 but I am in error, now I recollect this visit to the old church at Lancaster was on our return from Kirby Lonsdale I ought not to forget that upon our journey to Westmoreland, neither Jemie or I were well enough to walk about Lancaster in the heat of the day, tho he wished much to persuade Aunt Eliza to allow himself & Willie to go to the court house803 where he had seen a mob gathere & where he understood a case was to be tried. to divert him from this fancy, she persuaded him she wished him to take her likeness,804 & fell asleep while sitting for it to him! she pronounced it very satisfactory & lest it should be rubbed out (for it was in a book of Willies, she washed the page with milk & as I should have expected soiled it completely We stopped to bate the horses at a village called Hornby between Lancaster & Kirby L & had time to walked thro the beautiful grounds around the Castle of the same name,805 we followed the course of the river Lune upon which Lancaster is situated all our journey. “the crook of the Lune” is famed for its beauty, & from this point the route became more & more attractive enclosed by hills & abounding in wood, rich fields of grain, or meadow land, “it was hay making season” & the air was perfumed. Kirby Lonsdale is most beautifully situated upon the Lune, embosomed in hills, tho excepting the church which is surrounded by its burying ground806 & on the river bank, the town itself is not picturesque.807 Mr Picards house I remarked before it was pointed out as the home of my old friend Elizabeth W808 as the nicest looking in the street, central yet not public, she stood at her door to welcome us & to introduce me as the only stranger to her husband, their only child a little fellow in his fifth year,809 was soon on the most intimate terms with the “little boys” as he styled Jemie & Willie. they went to the river side to fish together day by day or played horse thro the garden. & were equally sorry when the last days companionship came round. I could not tempt my boys from their gambols with little John Richard, to accompany our large party in the carriage or on foot upon the various excursions we made in the environs of Kirby. one afternoon indeed Willie went to the ornamented grounds of Casterton,810 for “Lala” or Isabel Simpson811 - took Johnie & we found room to squeeze his little cousins Mary & Meggie812 in the carriage, as only Miss Simpson went besides my sister E & I. Mrs Picard remained at home with the gents & Jemie chose to be with them. the children were far more intent upon finding wild strawberries on the sides of the elevation, than upon views, the garden was like a fairy scene, for it was the height of the season for roses. Each successive afternoon my sister ordered the carriage to some new point over at Casterton, the village connected with the lordly manor & called by the same name is like a picture with its neat cottages covered with vines & their little flower gardens enclosing each. the schools & church of Casterton are far famed,813 but the reality exceeded all the descriptions I had listened to, they are situated on very high ground, yet hills rise far above them, the grounds under cultivation are very extensive, & the variety of flowers the verdure of wood & meadow surrounding the chaste style of architecture made it indeed like fairy land. we walked around the pretty church which seems rather in a flower garden than burial ground, tho in fact the beds are infants graves - for an infant. school is connected with that for the education of the daughters of indigent clergymen- & some black marble tomb stones marked the resting places of some taken in their youth to Eternity. yet flowers bloomed gaily & roses of every variety were trained around their graves. The owner of Casterton814 having understood from our surgeon815 that strangers - guests of Mr Picard - were admirers of his great taste & his benevolent spirit - sent thro Mr Whitaker an invitation to us to ascend still higher his elevated & highly ornamented grounds, even to visit his gardens enclosing his own lordly mansion & to see his conservatories, as his roses were in perfection, we could not resist the temptation & spent the last afternoon in wandering about them & certainly were amply repaid for any exertion. I cannot enumerate the variety of roses in that parterre, but there was every shade & size from almost black, to pure white, from the tiny Scotch hundred leaf to the Cabbage, some hung in festoons, some covered bowers & every bed was luxuriant. we drove from Casterton to the other side of Kirby to call upon some ladies816 who had invited us to tea, & here I found more to interest me, in the bee hives. we had scarcely returned to the town when one of the Misses Tomlinson sent a servant laden with their honied spoils, a tin case filled with virgin honey in the white comb. for my share I was much obliged. This same kind hearted spinster had given my Sister an engraving to send me because of its resemblance to my angel Charlie.817 It was the wish of Sister Eliza that I should thank Miss T when she first called to see us, but I could not do so in general conversation, & ere I could wait to whisper it apart to the stranger, my Sister had anticipated me. I have not attempted to describe the comforts we participated in, at Elizabeths home, but should choose if I might, for my family such a snuggery, it is a stone house with three parlors & a front kitchen on the first floor. Mrs Ware818 the widowed Sister of Elizabeth calls one of the sitting rooms hers & furnishes it, with the sleeping room above it, which in her absence at Harrogate myself & boys occupied, these look out into the garden & therefore I was charmed had been selected for such a lover of flowers as I am. My old friends the Misses Simpson819 of Edinburgh call Elizabeths house their home. “Lala” is the governess of the three little cousin Picards.820 During our visit Jemie attempted the portraits of even the three nice servant maids.821 & Johnie was induced to stand as a model,822 by the promise of two of the largest Strawberries in his fathers garden. I never saw such fruit as that bed yeilded, Mr & Mrs Picard cultivate their neat garden themselves & its plentiful produce rewards their industry. We had a dessert each day of fine cherries or strawberries gathered by their own hand. cucumbers from their hot bed - excellent head lettuce, new potatoes - green peas, all of their own planting & picking. I shall always associate Elizabeth with tranquil home-scenes-& luxuriant natural scenery - for when I visited her 17 years ago she was the comfort of her widowed mother823 & North Gate824 was situated in Wensledale one of the loveliest valleys of Yorkshire. During our late visit at Kirby one day in alluding to her suffering sea sickness if riding in a close carriage, her husband laughed & said “Elizabeth was not formed to be a fine lady” “no no! Richard that she was not was her smiling response she was to be your wife & she envies no one” Often have I watched her devoted fondness towards this gude mon of hers with painful interest, for I am told she has deep anxieties for his health, tho he is a picture of manly beauty in the prime of life, his lungs are not sound it is feared.825 This world is not our home, even such an earthly paradise as Kirby Lonsdale is not secure from the destroyer. But if trials assail Elizabeth, her trust I know is in God. Tho little John Richard threatened to break Uncle Ws carriage or lame his horses, yet we had to leave on the friday morning826 of that happy week. And right glad was Aunt Alicia to welcome us in the Preston home to tea that same night. Jemie has since, received a flattering proof that he made friends at Kirby, for the kind surgeon there Mr Whitaker has written827 to ask his young patient to return to make him a visit, I had read in the countenance of both physician & Jemie a mutual love at first sight, for Mr W has no boy of his own,828 & confessed to Mr Winstanley how lively an interest James excited. Many thanks for his prescriptions to us both, for he administered judiciously to my case as to James. by his recommendation I should have sought a sea side retreat immediately but an invitation to visit my friends at Chadock Hall829 first induced me on Wednesday the 14ƫ830 inst to set out from Preston with my Sister Alicia & boys by the 4 oclock afternoon train, we reached the Astley station831 in an hour & found a cart awaiting our luggage & old Peter832 coming forward from the pony phaeton to meet us, but my adventurous boys must have surprised Miss Smiths steady old coach man, for he was scarcely off his seat ere they occupied it & had reins & whip in hand, even I accustomed as I am to their sudden movements was astounded & as the ponys head was turned towards Chadock I almost expected he would take them there without us. Old Peter laughed good humouredly & restored order. he is a great contrast to George at Preston833 certainly, for he allowed the young mad caps to drive by turns, notwithstanding their having attempted it before asking permission. Cordial was the welcome awaiting our arrival at the old Hall from Mr Robt Smith, my dear friend Anne & her two sweet young neices & protégeés Mary & Bessie,834 whom I had not seen since they were little girls, for 17 years had elapsed since my last visit to Chadock. in that time they had lost their parents, & they reward Aunt Anne for every sacrifice she has made to devote herself to them, by contributing as they do every hour now to her comfort. Bessie the youngest looks too fragile to endure the storms of an earthly pilgrimage, those she has known have depressed her young bouyancy of spirit & she is habitually pensive, I saw many proofs of her deep piety during the week I was at Chadock, & believe Mary to be equally pious, tho her firmer health yeilds her a greater stock of cheerfulness. she would be in her sphere as a clergymans wife is some village,835 for these dear girls shrink from the bustle of a town life. they go hand in hand as Aunt Annes housekeepers alternately, or in works of charity, their recreations are reading aloud to her or to each other over embroidery, or Bessies wax flower making, but I observed they began every day directly after breakfast by the study of Gods word, they regularly retired to their own room together, to read from the same bible, & it was the last subject with the trio before retiring at night. If I had lost my full appreciation of the value of time in a four years. absence from a land of gospel light, I have been brought to reflection by the example of these consciencious young disciples. How very often I wished dear Debo had been with us that week at Chadock. The country around it tho so entirely unlike Kirby Lonsdale was as charming to me, we were favored in a continuance of fine bright weather for daily walks or drives. it is a fine farming district, & a plain so very extensive, would perhaps have wanted variety but for the shades of green, in the newly mown fields, contrasted with waving wheat, barley and oats, with their rich hawthorn hedges separating them & the quantity of wood land interspersed, the trees are many of them very large, & with the help of fancy I could imagine the ocean in the distance, for the tallest looked like a fleet in the distance. Often in our rambles we would see partridges or rabbits or pheasants, for the Earl of Ellesmere836 has much game on his estate & all the neighbourhood around Chadock Hall is his property. himself & his Countess837 are deservedly beloved for they are promoters of improvement in the condition of the poor838 all around there, he has built a new castle at Worsley839 since I first knew the neighbourhood, & the prettiest new church840 within walking distance of it I ever examined. it was at evening service there my boys discovered the preacher by his earnestness & idiom to be Irish.841 but Mary Smith had interested me so much in the rightful & youthful incumbent842 that I cannot help wishing his health may be restored & that the temporary pastor may preach the word in some other parish. it is a nephew of MƧ Sherwood843 who was first appointed to the Earl of Ellesmeres chapel. but premonitory symptoms of consumption have driven him to the south of Europe for this year, she engaged the heart of an orphan who was in her voyage from India bereft of all her natural protectors by ship wreck,844 her fathers wealth was in the English funds. may she have the open hand of Charity to secure her a heavenly interest, from all I learn of the ladies of Ellesmere she will have good examples. We had been within the pretty chapel during one of our strolls in the week & I had observed a printed notice in each pew, requesting all the congregation to unite in the devotions, the responses & if possible in singing the praises of God. And as we entered on sunday evening845 just after the service commenced it seemed one burst of praise. the seats are all free & all were filled. we had some of us driven in the pony phaeton so Anne, my Sister & I walked home with Mr Robt & Bessie took my boys in the carriage. I was not fatigued, tho my boys had gone to their nest when we reached Chadock. for Jemie had walked both morning & afternoon to the Ellesmere Chapel 1 1/4 mile distance & I had desired they should wait to bid me good night after my experiment. The air is certainly better for me at Chadock than here at the Ocean, but my boys enjoy the bathing, & I hope it may be for their good we came hither.

Preston. September. Saturday 10ƫ 846 Seated in the pleasant back chamber at my dear twin Sisters which has been occupied by my Sister Alicia & I all summer, when after our various excursions we return to this home, I determine this bright morning to endeavour to recollect as distinctly as I can the scenes thro which I have passed since my last date. Let me first record my own restoration to health, for in the search, writing & reading have been neglected. & while I regret not having been able to note down in succession the scenes we have passed thro, the many dear friends we have visited & who have visited us, I feel that it would have been wrong to have tied myself to the desk. While at the cottage at South Shore my dear Sister & Brother Winstanley came to spend a few days with us, bringing the carriage load. the boys could scarcely wait till it stopped for them to give three cheers. & how glad we all were to see our own Mary847 on the dickey with George & his wife. Jemie said we had a feast day, that day for so many good things were brought to add to the good things we had provided in expectation of their coming to dinner. to hominy & fresh milk was added the luxury of cream & fresh Eggs in abundance for breakfast. the boys lamented when their indulgent Uncle & Aunt must leave us & cousin Anne Clunie848 went too! Jemie wished to have gone back with them home. but I thought we must fulfil our fortnight.849 I must not forget to mention the day we all went to dine at the rectory at Poulton.850 Mr & Mrs John Hull851 were so kind & hospitable & their governess852 entered into all the sports of the children, our boys seemed to win her admiration the weather was most propitious, so that the games were all upon the green sward under large walnut trees & as we older folks sat at the window we shared the enjoyment. How almost enviable I thought MƤ Hulls lot, such a home, so retired from bustle yet so conveniently situated for her husbands duties he need scarcely be gone an hour from her, & their large family (Lucy the eldest only the age of our Jemie)853 all so bright & so dutiful & so fond! We went to see the church,854 where there is an elegant monument to the memory of the father of the pastor - my kind friend old Doctor Hull855 of Manchester is buried at Poulton his native town. At dinner we had very fine fruit, but the children who had been allowed the favor of coming to table, were considerately released at dessert, that they might gather theirs in the garden, where all sorts of ripe berries abounded. we afterwards joined them there.

We went often to see poor old Aunt Wilkin856 at Black Pool where she resides with her daughter Priscilla, who married an honest carrier,857 & takes lodgers thro the summer, for their house is finely situated on the beach. How many solitary musings I had in my strolls upon that long beach at low tide! when the dear boys were amusing themselves with bow & arrows. or on donkeys or in throwing stones as far as they could send them into the surf. But the last bathe was taken the second saturday858 there & we had a fine afternoon to return bag & baggage to Preston. My Sister Eliza & kind Mr W were waiting at the Station to welcome us. & had scarcely done so, ere they were met by one of the servants telling them Sir James Wemess859 was at the house. he afterwards went again with as many as could make the exertion, back to the station to see MƢ & MƤOrmerod860 passing thro, for my part I was obliged to lie down on the sofa after my journey, until tea time. It is surprising how much fatigue my Sister goes thro, tho she cannot now bear the excitement of entertaining many at a time as she used to do. there is an incessant demand upon her hospitality & sympathies. each day she regularly visits an infirm old lady to cheer her in a sick chamber. MƤWalton861 would feel alarmed if she staid away without sending word that something extraordinary prevented it. this grateful old lady is continually racking her brain to think what she can find for Mrs Winstanley! & her amiable daughter Agness862 delights in inventing & seconding these little surprises of her invalid mother. My sister laughs & asks the old lady if she fancies she has a poor look? & Mr Winstanley advises Eliza to take a basket of her arm, for seldom two days elapse without her bringing home some nice thing insisted upon. We had not long time alotted for Preston upon our return from South Shore ere the day was fixed by my friends in Liverpool for my visit to Cambridge SƱ863 poor Jemie had left undone much which he applied himself to accomplishing the last day. there was a sketch of Aunt Winnie864 promised to Miss Clunie.865 & a beautiful engraving of Miss Waltons866 long waiting to be copied, he did copy the old hermit at his devotions867 very correctly, tho he had only a common pencil & fools cap paper. Aunt Eliza said she should have it framed.

I set out for Liverpool with my boys only, as Aunt Alicia could not leave Preston until her cousin should to return to Scotland, & we had no time to lose. I was glad to have enjoyed the society of Cousin Anne Clunie three weeks in all. for I have always loved her & she is a true christian.

Dear Eliza & John Sandland were waiting for us at the Edge Hill station,868 & soon we were driven to the snug home of their dear mother. how warm & comforting was the embrace of this friend of my youth. “Oh how like you are what your dear mother was when I first saw her!” she said to me when she had told me over & over how glad she felt to see myself & boys. I found Mrs Sandland looking so interesting fair after her severe illness, that tho so delicate in appearance she seemed to have become younger, her hair is still beautiful & her eyes looked less dejected than they had been many years ago they must be always beautiful. she was wearing blue ribbons on her blond cap – but now alas she is again in deep mourning, for within this last week both Mr Jno Grayson & his sister Bessie869 have been released by death from great suffering, they died happy! speaking of their trust in an all sufficient Saviour, & dear MSandland is now at Roby870 comforting her bereaved relatives – I shall ever treasure up the memories of kindnesses experienced daily at 10 Cambridge St my friends made myself & boys so much at home. John Sandland seemed to feel he could not be too condescending to Jemie & Willie & devoted himself to their amusement, even to country strolls to help them fly their kite. he had reminiscences of my making a pet of him when I was a school girl & he a “little one”871 And he was so partial to my boys as to fancy them more intelligent than lads of their age are generally. he showed them the Docks. took them to the Assizes872 to hear a trial & see the Judges in their big wigs – he was most amused at the greeting between a countryman of ours with them when he gratified their wish to go on board an American ship. the mate a Massachusetts man would scarcely let them go ashore again he and Jemie were so communicative, so truly “hail fellow well met”873 I availed of opportunity for hearing the greatest pulpit orator of Liverpool,874 altho Mrs Sandland does not frequent St Judes. it is not distant from her house. Eliza went with me to the thursday875 lecture the very first evening of my arrival, I had heard the eloquence of Mr Mc Neill (now Doctor extolled, & perhaps it was because of such extravagent praise I was at first rather disappointed, his discourse was from the 6ƫ of Romans.876 it certainly was excellent, for Hugh McNeill is a most clear reasoner. I went again on Sunday morning,877 the aisles were filled, but so many families being out of town there was not the usual difficulty of obtaining seats in pews & we faced the reverend speaker, who wins each time more & more upon his auditors. the whole service is most impressive. A lady member of the congregation—is the only female in the not numerous choir, her voice is very fine, simple tunes are selected as most easily joined in by the whole congregation. The illustrations given to his subject by Mr McNeill are very beautiful, he preaches without notes. referring from time to time to the little pocket bible which he has open in his hand. as tho he is most attentive to the written word, which he seems to have by heart. In the evening he preached from 2nd Epistle of St Peter.878 I was sorry not to have taken my Jemie to hear him, as he described the works which would be burnt up!879 even every thing however important in the estimation of man - which is not to the glory of God! Oh how rivetted was the attention of the hundreds who filled aisles & pews & galleries! may it not have been in vain! On monday I went to see my friends the Blis’s for the last time at the American boarding house in Duke SƱ 880 Sarah B took charge of a pot of Ivy plants for my Sister Kate, Mrs Bliss promised to deliver a parcel to my dear mother from me. I cannot say I envied them embarking in the Montezuma881 that day, tho the ship is so fine, so many emigrants were to be fellow passengers. these kind friends had told me much of their Swiss tour in a first call I made them in Liverpool, they described Debo as quite a heroine & said she had been such an acquisition to their party.882 but they had been obliged to give her up to our friends in London, Mrs Clarke Haden883 claimed the fulfilment of our daughters promise to visit her in Deans Yard Westminster.884 And the Maingays at Woolwich885 must have their share. So when I first took possession of a pretty cottage over at Egremont on the Cheshire coast886 to give Jemie more sea bathing, Eliza Sandland only accompanied myself & boys. Aunt Alicia & our servant Mary soon after joined us from Preston. The weather was hot in Liverpool, we realized how preferable the opposite side of the river was whenever we were attracted to the city to shop, but the crossing in the ferry steamers we found very agreable with each its band of music. Eliza & I sometimes exerted ourselves to rise early enough to take a stroll before breakfast, her dear mother occasionally would cross over from the city to spend a long afternoon with us, she enjoyed as much as we did the walks in which the environs of Egremont abound, & while we three were enticed to wander thro pretty lanes & corn fields, John Sandland would join my boys in their juvenile sports, reporting to me, when 7 oclock assembled us all around our frugal evening meal, that they had been boys together. I must not omit to record the friendly attentions of Mr Vallances887 family to us, it was pleasant to me to meet an early friend in his sweet little wife,888 & her brother George Dunscombe889 being on a visit from my native land to his own, could tell me much of my own dear brothers family circle at New York. MƤVallance has a numerous family circle of her own now, her eldest daughter Minnie890 a girl in her teens I took great interest in, because of her amiability & self devotion to her mama & the little ones. she spent an afternoon with us at the cottage Mr Edwd Maude891 also was very attentive to us. I had been introduced to him when he passed thro Preston, he supped & slept at Mr Winstanleys, & is a favorite. his lodgings being near ours on the beach, he stopped sometimes to take my letters for Russia or America to the Liverpool post office, sometimes we met in crossing the ferry, & once he made leisure to take my boys fishing, And when at last the day was at last the day was appointed for my dear Debos leaving London with Emma Maingay as her companion, he politely met them at the station in L Pool & brought them to our cottage door. little Willies eagerness to see Sister was so great, he waited at the Egremont ferry & capered by her side all the way, till Jemie at our gate claimed the turn of bringing her to Mother. How happy it made us to have Debo restored to us in safety after all her perils by sea & land, but tho her countenance looked cheerful, to me she appeared not to have regained health in her tour thro Switzerland, she was very eager to recount to me in a tête à tête on the sofa after tea her pleasant visit to the kind Hadens at Deans Yard, & as I had lost my voice by a severe cold (caught thro imprudently prolonging my enjoyment in bathing) hers sunk to a whisper, as she described to me each member of the family. I was not suspicious of any other cause than sympathy in my inability to speak above a whisper. & therefore did not trace the many symptoms of her mind being ill at ease to the true cause in the day or two succeeding her joining us at the sea side. On thursday the 26th of August however all was explained satisfactorily by letters from 62 Sloan St from an unknown member of the Haden family,892 & also vouchers from his Aunt in Deans Yƚ never did I realize the friendship of dear Annie Ormerod so truly, I found she had acted as a tender mother to my daughter while under her protection, & she wrote that the young physician her husbands nephew who had attended herself thro several illnesses, was soliciting her influence for our consent to his union with Debo. The brief period of their acquaintance we must overlook because of the long friendship between his family & our own893 - the surprise must be softened to Whistler & I became at once an Amenuensis, in copying the letters which came daily from London, those from our old friend Annie O. now MƤ Clarke Haden of course being the best vouchers for all that others wrote in favor of the nephew of her husband.894 Dear Debo herself arose very early to write her fond father upon this most important event of her young life.895 And she chose also to acquaint her Aunt & Uncle Winstanley, a day only elapsed ere she received their blessing, but we must yet wait long ere she can receive that of her father or know whether he can comply with our united wishes for his coming to England to meet us.896 Debos heart is so set upon the accomplishment of Seymours hopes for their union this autumn, her Aunt Eliza says we might as well chop her head off as propose her going back to Russia & indeed she seems to depend upon daily communications to & from Sloan SƱ – for as the youthful pair had plighted their troth I could not oppose their very natural wish to write each other, tho a visit from the lover is deferred until we have the countenance of Whistler to give opriety to it. Mr Hadens mother897 wrote Debo at once upon learning the state of his affections, of her entire approval. Mary Boott who is the affianced of his (only brother) Charles,898 has written in the most lively strain her delight that her dear little D is to be one among them. while Rose Haden899 the young & only sister of these fond brothers is only prevented by her timidity writing the favored one. Seymour has sent Debo a brief memoir in print, of his father,900 which tells us he also was a physician, a man of worth & talents beyond the common lot, that he wrote many valuable treatises on medicine, & was conspicuous as a member of a musical coterié, he died young. The great talent for music among all this family of Haden, might lead to the presumption of connection at least with the celebrated composer, but that the name is spelt differently.901 Our friend MƤKirk Boott,902 having always been particularly partial to Debo, will I think be well pleased that her favorite nephew Seymour is to bring the dear girl into their family circle. he no doubt has written to inform them in Boston. altho we have only to our own George disclosed his sisters prospects. until we have her fathers views as to the marriage. dear little Willie & Jemie have not the least idea that their sweet “Sis” is seeking a home in England. when they know it, they will become better reconciled to remaining at Holly Bank,903 in the prospect of spending their holidays with her occasionally —— And now have months elapsed since my poor journal was opened,904 we did not doom our dear boys to a separation from us, for when their father joined us at Preston to give away their sister in marriage, he could not bear to part from all at once. Mr Stewart expressed his regret at their removal from his school in the most fattering terms, saying that their example would have been valuable to the other boys. indeed I had observed with grateful emotions that the blessing from on high, upon our training them, had enabled Jemie especially to resist temptations among his play fellows, that he had not yeilded to their persuasions to deceive their masters & that when he had made mistakes, he still had courage to confess his fault. May God always continue to my darling James & Willie tender consciences, that they may never prevaricate. It was with fervent prayer I sought counsel from God in our important decision as to whether to leave our boys in England, or to bring them back to Russia, for I knew their fond father would not without due consideration decide, as he would make any sacrifice of selfish inclination for their future good, especially for James health. We went to Holly Bank together the next day after Whistlers arrival at Preston (I have not described that, tho it was so exciting at the time, my spirits had been at the lowest ebb, when my Sisters went out hoping to bring me at least a letter, on their way to the office Sister Alicia discovered G W W in the large white familiar characters upon some trunks a porter was wheeling across from the rail road station,905 she sprung forward to embrace them, but happily fell upon Whistler, who became as eager as my sisters to reach home for the public exhibition of feeling made him shrink from public gaze! how welcome he was to us all! the transition from a most painful state of suspence & anxiety, to joy was almost too great for me. and we thought him looking so well! & he had not experienced any of the storms, which had made me tremble for his safety. Oh how delighted he was to have Debo beside him! he was rather shocked at finding the wedding day fixed, without waiting for him, it was monday he arrived & thursday was to have been the day, he must be in London that day to deliver government despatches,906 so it was put off till Saturday)907 there was so much bustle in anticipation of winding up Debos affairs at Preston, that her father & I were glad to find ourselves occupying a car of the 1st class on our way to Liverpool. it was beautiful bright weather. the sail to Birkenhead was lovely & Oh how delighted our boys were to welcome us at school. we did not then think they were to return to it only to say farewell to Mr & Mrs Stewart,908 who seemed so fond of them. we asked for them to visit Preston for some days. their carpet bag was soon put up, a new suit of clothes for each having been completed by order – Tom Clunie909 had taken them to the most fashionable tailor910 for a new Polka jacket911 & pr of white trowsers. tho I had not let the secret out that these were for bridal array– We lunched at a confectioners in Bold St 912 instead of dinner & then put Willie in a Fly913 with the carpet bag &c to deposit at MƤSandlands & wait our coming there. Jemie went shopping with father & I, each of our boys seemed happy to be at our disposal any way. I had to select a diamond pin for Seymour & a bracelet for Emma914 as bridal gifts from Debo. It was late in the afternoon when we reached 10 Cambridge SƮ our kind friends there were so glad to see us! to welcome Whistler after five years separation,915 John really shone as master of the house, I was only sorry my husband could spend so brief a time with him, they went out to a stationers together, leaving us ladies to talk over the wedding, as we had not met since they had been informed of the sudden event in darling Debos life. they entered so kindly in our feelings & mingled thankfulness at Debos bright prospects, & our struggle in giving her up for life! they had attended to the wedding cake &c for me in Liverpool. How touching such proofs of friendship as I gazed on their own deep mourning for their dear Bessie & Mr John Grayson.916 Yes two had been taken in youth, from their family circle since I had last seen them, & they had wept for the surviving mother917 & the young widow & two fatherless boys. John Sandland has sent me the obituary he had written upon his cousin J Gs death.918 We were obliged to leave our sincere & affectionate friends directly after tea, to be in time at the station for the last train,. when we reached Preston there was our good Mary & Betty919 in waiting, who took all care of parcels & boys off our hands, & it was not many minutes ere920 were welcomed in Uncle Winstanleys parlor. “What did you come for you good for nothing chaps?” “We thought you wanted to see us, as much as we did you” answered Jemie with the tone of a priviliged favorite. The next evening921 Whistler started to travel all night to London taking Jemie with him for company. Debo had written Seymour at what hotel he would find her father the day he had appointed for their personal introduction to each other. & at 11 oclock the young man was punctual, each had much business to finish in that day, thursday, for they were to journey back to Preston together at night, but Whistler managed to go to Sloane St to dinner supposing Seymours mother & sister were there. so Jemie saw nothing to amuse him in that days visit to London, for father & he were driving about from one place to another all day. The trio reached Preston at midnight, it had been as busy a day with us there, & I was still in the girls room, where I had spent the whole evening helping Debo to look thro her treasures, to see what I must pack up & what she would give away for I knew her father would not be willing to spare me from his side. I was the only one in the house who had not undressed. but not expecting our travellers till morning I was frightened by pebbles rattling against the windows of the girls room, supposing the only light had attracted a mob, for 20 factories having been shut up there were alas I knew discontented spirits enough, to raise a disturbance, & gentlemen among the manufactorers having been late calling upon Mr Winstanley, I fancied were still in the parlor,922 I did not know how late it was really! & the girls jumped out of bed frightened by the alarm I could not avoid shewing. I went down stairs alone, trembling, for the knocking was now at the side door. I opened the dining room very softly lest the gents should be there, all was darkness, then I went to Mr Winstanleys sleeping chamber & roused him, it was really a pity to disturb the good old gentleman, but it was a droll scene when he came out in his night cap & slippers looking taller than ever in the long fur Caftan923 my husband had brought him, with his spouse of lowly stature peeping out after him, for by this time Jemies ringing voice had brought me to the street door & I let the travellers in, & above stairs. the true cause of the midnight disturbance was understood, Debo had slipped a black silk dress & visite924 on and was waiting in the vestibule, to catch one embrace from her lover as he should pass up to his apartment, & there was Aunt Alicia in her night dress busy lifting poor Willie from the bed Seymour must occupy, & a pretty time she had with both the boys in hers the rest of that night! The next day there was no trace of any confusion soon after breakfast, for the nice Betty & Hannah925 soon ordered all the apartments & Aunt Alicia chose one to herself in the attic. I dont like to recal that day to mind. for Whistler was not well, I staid in our room all day by his bedside. Debo was shut up in the little parlor with Seymour directing bridal cards to his hundred friends, to announce that Mr & MƤSeymour Haden would be “at home” on the 15th of November at 62 Sloane SƮAh what a pity that worldly ceremony made Debo forget her dear father that last day she might have been with him, but she was so delighted with her bright prospects, she could not suspect that the approaching separation was making father ill. the business of her wedding, was destroying all sentiment! Oh if we could have had it under our own roof we should not have had such a bustle. Yet dear, kind, Aunt Eliza took it all off our hands, & was as busy as a bee all day in preparations for the bridal dejeuner. MƢClarke Haden arrived from Fleetwood926 in the evening, as it had been arranged by the Vicars927 permission that he as Seymours Uncle should perform the ceremony. he had written a most beautiful letter928 previously to Whistlers arrival, over which we had all shed tears & Aunt E would have me copy it for her to preserve with the last dear Annie had written her. Whistler made the exertion to get up for tea, that we might evince every respect towards the Revd Uncle, but Oh it was painful the gloom which hung upon our spirits. Emma whispered me for mercys sake, to propose music, I did ask Seymour if I might have the pleasure of hearing him chaunt with the girls, but he thought his poor Uncle would associate it with the past & be over come, so we had to try to talk, but every one seemed pre-occupied, & the Vicar called upon Mr C Haden, & Seymour was summoned to the dining room to see him too. I had put up a pr of white silk gloves for each the maid servants with a half sovereign slipped in the finger as Miss W-s parting gift after prayers, & the coachman George his pair with a sovereign. My Sister selected the 12th Chap of Romans929 which she read very impressively, previously having told us, that it had been a favorite of her Grandmothers.930 That night every thing had been ordered so that we should be like clock work, to lose not a moment of Debos wedding day. her trunks were already packed. The 16ƫ of Oct was one of the brightest days ever experienced in England. When I first met my Sisters they were all dressed in satins, & ready to be bonnetted. Mr Winstanley was seated in the little parlor where any one who wished coffee or tea buttered toast or dry or even an egg might go sans ceremonie & take it. Before the bride & only brides maid Emma put on their shubes to go to the carriage, the half dozen maid servants931 begged to be admitted to their chamber to see & admire them. I think there were three carriages to drive us to the old Parish church. I congratulated the young ladies their dresses were quite covered by the long black satin shubes. for unluckily it was market day & Fishergate was thronged early as it was. As we encircled the altar in the nave of the old church, so gloriously shone the sun thro the eastern windows, that rainbow hues covered the Altar. we were only a family party – little Johnie Chapman932 was the only spectator & he told his mama933 on his return home, he had been blinded by the tears, which would come as he thought Miss Whistler was going away from them forever! affectionate little fellow! The so lately-widow’d uncle read the service most impressively, but when he put his hand upon the head of the newly wedded pair to bless them, his words almost chocked him - no doubt thoughts of Annie rushed to his mind - but he recovered his self command for the rest of the day – I was annoyed by the rudeness of the crowd pressing upon us as we attempted to get from the church to the carriage, Mr Winstanley expected it & had filled our boys pockets & his own with sixpences, but still he cried shame on the English custom934 while the shower of silver diverted the rude people from us & we soon drove home The Vicar only was invited to the bridal dejeûner, it certainly was ample & elegant, on each side of the ornamented wedding cake were the beautiful bouquets which Mrs Chapman had sent to London for in the expectation that the bride & Emma (the only brides maid – would have held them. but choice & aromatic as were the flowers, they would have been inconvenient to carry, they graced the table, which had also a great display of the Winstanley plate; dear Debo was seated between her father & Seymour, looking the happiest of the happy, not thinking of how soon she was to part from the gentle & indulgent parent but full of fond anticipations of a bright future with the young protector her heart had selected. she wore her white chip bonnet935 during breakfast & Emma a pretty rose colored bonnet. When the health of the young pair was proposed in champagne, poor Whistler raised his eyes to the portrait of my brother William over the mantle peice opposite where they sat, & said “let us next drink to the health of our brother, who would I am sure take a lively part in, what now engages us if he could be here”936 — The passing of wedding cake thro the pure gold ring Debo was then required to condescend to.937 soon after which I went with her to her room that she might change her white dress for a travelling one, which was equally becoming. While there Mrs Chapman & her daughters938 came to say adieu, as they wished me joy it sunk like a knell upon my heart. When we went down stairs939 the drawing-room our friends from the Cliff940 were there, & Whistler & I had to endure all their congratulations, well meant no doubt, but surely if any had reflected upon the sacrifice we had been required to make, the most delicate & feeling attention to our feelings, had been silence. Debo bid us good bye without a tear, her eyes shone with happiness, & surely a brighter sunshine in England never shone, than that of the 16ƫ of last Oct. Neither Whistler or I saw the old shoe thrown by Aunt Eliza after the carriage941 as it whirled off from the front gate, tho I heard afterwards this omen of good luck was not omitted. We had proposed going to Fleetwood to visit the bereaved parents there. by the first train after we had parted from our darling girl, for our hearts could sympathise with Mr & Mrs Ormerod, but Aunt Eliza insisted we must eat the wedding dinner first, she went herself in her rich puce cold 942 satin & new white chip bonnet to exhibit herself to old Mrs Walton943 & took James to shew him off to the invalid - as the only grooms-man - Willie who was dressed exactly like him went too & took from me a large peice of wedding cake to the kind old lady. I was obliged to appear in black at dinner, as no time was allowed to change my dress after it, and I had worn mourning for my friend Annie from the day we heard of her death, until dear Debos wedding. busy memory had reminded me of the sad solemnities in our drawing-room at St Petersburg on the 16ƫ of last Oct! & I thought how very similar the effects to myself & dear husband the two ceremonies,944 we were assured our loss of our angel baby was his happiness he had been taken to heavenly mansions & thus secured from earthly viscissitudes & sorrow. We had resigned Debo for this life also, tho for her happiness in a new home. & our hearts were heavy with grief at the distant prospect of our meeting again, for our departure for the continent could not be delayed to welcome her in London, on her return from the bridal tour in Wales – The duty Clarke Haden had come to Preston having been fulfilled, he took his place in the car for Fleetwood with us, & as we had one to ourselves, he was not restrained in uttering what was uppermost in his thoughts, he bent his head & said in a low voice to me “Do you remember when we last met at this station you said to her how happy you thought her, travelling with her husband? now permit me congratulate yourself & Mr Wm Edward Ormerod945 just then came (by the Manchester train) & took a seat with us & we were not much more than a half hour in reaching Fleetwood, where poor Mr Ormerod946 & Mrs Edwd 947was waiting at the station. It was distressing on first meeting dear Annies bereaved Mother,948 but she commanded her feelings wonderfully. she often sighed as tho her heart must be bursting & once laying her hand upon it whispered “oh you know not what a weight is here! but she can never come to me! I shall go to her” Whistlers tears flowed as did mine, yet we felt it more congenial to our present feelings to be at the house of mourning,949 & we staid until the last train, with our kind friends, who seemed to think the more of our visit, that it was a proof we could remember them on such a day. What a busy day was the next monday950 to us all! Emma was to go with us the next day to London, Whistler asked Aunt Alicia to go with him & Jemie to Liverpool, & the two last went to Holly Bank951 to bid adieu to it. I had completed packing Debos trunks for London & ours for the continent when they came back to Preston by tea time. Very early on tuesday952 Whistler bade adieu to Mr Winstanley & my kind sisters, that he might spend the day in examining different stations on the route, he arranged that we should follow by the early afternoon train & meet him in Birmingham, as we did. Oh that dreadful last day in Preston, it is too sad to recal the bustle & the parting! after five months finding a home under that hospitable roof, much as I longed to be settled in my own home, it was trying to bid adieu. & it will be a grief to me till I see my dear Sisters again, that business curtailed my intercourse with them that last day. MƢWinstanley presented us each with plaid scarfs, even to my boys for the voyage. We reached the Euston station at midnight. Emma staid at the hotel there953 with us till after breakfast, when (as she naturally was impatient to get home after a six weeks absence) we hired a carriage, the boys & I accompanied her to Shooters Hill,954 the weather was bright as Oct in my native land, & we enjoyed our visit for the day to Wellesley House. we found all the family at home,955 but Mr Maingay who was in town on business. how glad they all were to have Emma back again & they thought her looking so well! she was almost crazy with joy! laughing incessantly. Eliza had just returned from visiting her district of poor cottagers when we arrived, she was the picture of neatness & composure, looking so placid & with a heavenly expression on her mild, sweet face. Emma joked her sweet Sister upon a resemblance in her quaker attire to some plain good lady of their acquaintance, Eliza smiled & so did their mother, who remarked she could not resemble a better woman. “No I dont wish to look like her mama!” why not? “No earthly models mama” gently replied this follower of our Lord. Eliza entrusted to my care a good book for her friend Mary Touchkoff956 at St P. this excellent book “The family of Bethany957 was a solace to me in crossing the rough seas — she gave me also a Russian bible to bring home, to place upon the window of our vestibule where so frequently couriers are detained a half hour & where I always keep a supply of Russian tracts. After I had said good bye to Mrs Maingay she called me back to the sofa where a sprained foot detained her, to embrace me again. how much I should have enjoyed a few days in Elizas society. My boys had gone off to the nut trees with Fred after lunch. but little Lillie958 clung to her sisters. at last I could make them hear my summons back to London. Our hotel was the Waterloo, on the Thames.959 it might have been amusing to watch the boats passing our windows which looked out upon the river, but the weather was so fine & we had many friends & places to visit. Jemie would have lingered a day at Westminster Abbey,960 for he had taken out paper & pencil to sketch monuments, but the Sexton at last hinted prayers would soon begin, & we must come again. It was just as difficult for him to see enough of the Colliseum,961 the statuary, panorama of London & the Cartoons in turn invited him to linger. I sent Mary with the boys to St Pauls962 another day. but took them to call at Mrs T Smiths, St James Park963 - a lovely situation, such a treat to me to spend an evening with the lovely daughter of my old friend Mrs Stevenson! I made an engagement to go with Eliza to Clapham to see MƤ Shaws family964 & Oh how disappointed I was not to accomplish it, I had been at home under the hospitable roof of Calcutta House965 five weeks 18 years ago, as Anna Mc with dear Mrs Stevenson when we first visited London, together & in the two last visits I have made to London with my children, I have tried in vain to call even! for the Shaws now reside at Clapham, hourleys run there, but it takes a morning to visit a friend. & our time was so precious, we could only call at Doct Bootts966 the last day. how much I had to do that day! I took Willie with me to Paternoster row,967 to select a book or two to leave on Sisters toilette as a souvenir of her birth day. then drove to Sloane St. The house keeper968 was very attentive & shewed me all the apartments to be graced by her young mistress occupation. Mr Hadens study on the first floor. above it the dining room – opposite to which the drawing room looks out on a small park, Cadogan Gardens.969 Above this salon is Debos boudoir, furnished with blue, its walls covered with Seymours sketches of Italy & Switzerland970 –opening into it is a most commodious bath & dressing room. Above the dining room – looking out into the flower garden belonging to their house – is their bed room, with its new wardrobes & every elegance for the lady fair. it seemed a pity not to see her smiling approval of all, but the sunny days of Oct it was of more importance to her to pass among the Welsh hills, breathing a pure & healthful atmosphere, she would have enough of London, even tho her home so abounds in comforts & elegancies. We left our hotel after a very late dinner in the evening, to sleep on board the Steamer for Hamburg,971 never shall I forget the impression made on my mind by the contrast between those two extreme points of the vast metropolis the west end & the direction we took to reach the river, as we drove thro dark narrow streets of the city & saw such squallid wretchedness, it did not do to think of the luxury of the favored few at the court end. it seemed to us all we were driving thro a district of pollution & crime. And then the Thames boatmen! what a set swearing at each other, seizing our luggage & hurrying us so savagely into their boats in the darkness of the evening I almost trembled, & scarcely expected they would put us on board the Steamer without pilfering us of some of our articles of luggage, but Whistler did not dispute their unlawful demand for hire, as a lady did who went passenger in the steamer with us, by which she was put on board minus a whole peice of broad cloth972 &c for servants liveries, while she was only intent upon a fair settlement one of the men must have slily slipped back into the wherry this very valuable bundle, for she did not discover her loss until after she had lost all sight of them. The ladies cabin was rather confined & very crowded, so I felt thankful that I was not one of those compelled by sea-sickness to keep my narrow berth, so I each morning met my husband & dear boys at breakfast time in the saloon, and if I had not as good a relish for the meal as Jemie & Willie I had plenty of books to beguile time of tediousness, and it seemed to me such a favor to have the society of my husband, this being my first voyage of days with him. I was so soothed too when thinking of having parted from Debo! by the perusal of “The family of Bethany,” but I have before mention its having been recommended to me by dear Eliza Maingay. Oh how delighted we all felt in landing at Hamburg on monday;973 not having spent quite three days on board the Victoria. the scenery to the city from the mouth of the Elbe is rather flat, but we gazed at the shores with villages or country seats scattered along, with pleasurable emotions, no such annoyances as passports or custom house inspection of luggage on landing at one of the principal wharfs, our boys were soon making their knowledge of German useful, & amusing themselves by putting questions to the people around us. we were soon very comfortably domiciled at Streights Hotel974 in the beautiful new square, in the centre of which is an artificial lake on miniature scale, in which at night the lights are reflected & thus the effect of the fine buildings, is heightened & extended. The custom throughout Germany I believe is to take every meal but dinner in travelling — in the same room in which the traveller passes the night, but we asked & obtained the favor to have our breakfast table set (and a nice repast too) in the salle à manger. there was one bright little German footman who devoted himself to us. & even prevented gentlemen smoking in the saloon while we were there at breakfast. At dinner unless we hastened from the table d’hote immediately after dessert we must have been quite scented with segars, as they were handed regularly round to the Gents. German ladies seem to be reconciled to the custom, for we always left many ladies at table at the elbows of their cavaliers. We found Hamburg an excellent shopping place, such an abundant supply of french goods especially & as no duties is upon them, cheaper there than any where out of France. I supplied myself with dresses for the remainder of my sojourn in Russia I hope! Whistler tried to tempt me to purchase a very elegant cloak just imported from Paris, it was drab cloth975 lined & trimmed with dark blue, very tempting! & Jemie thought I ought not to mind giving five pounds English for it, as father wished me to look nice! but Uncle Winstanleys gift of a beautiful tartan scarf was enough I thought in addition to my plaid cloak & other cloaks at home. Whistler supplied our boys with new shubes at Hamburg, for our voyage made it necessary they should be thoroughly guarded against cold. And a blustering time we had of in crossing the Baltic so late in the season of Oct, for it was the last boat to St P in which we embarked on Sat Oct 30ƫ. While at Lubec we staid of course with our attentive host of the Stadt Hambourg, & Jemie paid many a visit to his gallery of pictures.976 We only spent one night at that curious old town & went in the same vehicle which we had hired at Hamburg, to take us, to Travemunde. We had a continuance of bright weather & did not suffer from cold as we had feared we might. upon our reaching our steamer, we immediately deposited our luggage under care of the Steward, mine for the convenience of the voyage being arranged by the attentive German stewardess in my state room, she evinced great interest in me & tho we could not talk together she often kissed my hand & her countenance expressed that she still retained the tender sympathy for me, which the painful circumstances of my first acquaintance with her had elicited, when she was stewardess of the Alexandra!977 There proved to be only one lady passenger beside myself this time on board the Nicoli.978 so that there was no objection to Mary having the state room next my own, but the stewardess was ever so watchful to attend upon me that I did not tax Marys services, the boys were however glad she was well enough to be at the beck when they wanted her, there were few gentlemen passengers & each had an entire stateroom except Jemie & Willie who of course preferred occupying the same & next their fathers. I always remained as late as possible with Whistler, for he had taken cold & was really ill & felt depressed. the gales were all in our favor, but we had a taste of what we might have suffered had our course been in the other direction, for having run too rapidly before the wind, the Capt put about to prevent our reaching Cronstadt too early in the morning, & even I felt sick from the roughness of the motion a few hours. We were all obliged to rise very early in the morning to prepare for custom house officers. How different my feelings now, to when I had encountered their scrutiny before; how comfortable Whistler protection had rendered me all this route! what a treat to have him to travel with. the officers were excedingly polite to him, as his passport announced him a courier from the embassy in London, they merely asked the number of articles of our luggage, ticketed each, so that when we reached the English quai at St Petersburg, our things we all passed ashore without being required to go to the Custom house. I have omitted to mention that among the companions of our voyage were two, whom we associate with occasionally as visiters at our fire side. One is a Doctor Crawford979 to whom I feel much indebted for his lending me his Church Records980 to read as he receives them from London, thro favor to Prince of Oldenbourg in whose family he has an appointment,-as moral governer to his son.981 the doctor is a decidedly religious man, so true a witness of our Saviour among men, he seeks the society of all christians whether of the church of England or Dissenters, his attendance at Mr Ellerbys saturday evening prayer meetings missionary meetings &c as constant as his coming to our church on the sabbath & he is one of the few never absent from the Lords table. The other companion of our voyage who visits us still is a Mr Konoring982 a Pole, but of the Russian diplomatic corps. he has just returned from Brazil after a three years absence from this city, where his father resides.983 he is a perfect gentleman, quite young & speaks English well. I discover that his mother984 was a dear friend to my favorite Miss Funk. & that she was a truly pious lady. the son also seems thoughtful. How glad I was to see Wm Maingay upon our first landing! & it was so attentive in him running to bring our neighbours to welcome us & so kind in Mrs Ropes to make the exertion to meet us with her husband, they insisted upon our lunching & dining at their house & had Mr & Mrs Gellibrand & Lizzie Ropes to meet us at tea.985 I could not have imagined it would be so delightful to return to our St Petersburg home, but no place had seemed so comfortable & none so commodious in all my travels. Mr Prince986 had had it put in such beautiful order, & it had been thoroughly painted, papered &c during the summer, even the double windows were put in & bright fires were burning in the grates, & carpet down. I felt so grateful to Mr Prince for all the trouble he had been at in superintending preparations for our welcome home! Matvie987 looked neat as ever & was very much gratified by my having brought him a new blue cloth round-a-bout988 from Hamburgh, & a pr of white gloves, such as had been distributed at Mrs Hadens wedding. Our faithful little Cook came to take possession of the kitchen the very day of my return, & she liked the blanket shawl989 I brought her from England, she had kept herself out of place all summer, that she might serve us! Our faithful Laundress990 too had reserved herself for me. she came back immediately to her old duties, I had a pretty English cap for her with bordering of net & ribbons enough to trim three. And ere many days even our good cow991 was restored to us in better condition than ever, from her pasturage at Alexandrofsky, Mr Eastwicks family had had her milk for the summer, for her keeping. Ere I could unpack our trunks even friends & acquaintances thronged upon me, ah how often I thought of dear Debo who had always been ready to do the honors in the drawing room! sometimes two or three sets of ladies would call at one time, for instance as I was receiving the fashionable Mrs F B. the equally stylish Mrs Slatta & the lovely Mrs M A came & at the same time Mad Melnikoff & daughter,992 I scarcely could answer all the questions about Debo & our summers tours, especially as Mad M speaks french or Russ only. By very early rising & late taking rest I managed to get my house hold duties in operation before the sabbath came. And in due time to report our safe arrival to all across the Baltic & Atlantic. I must not omit to mention a new baby among our American colony at Alexandrofsky & soon MƢ Harrison invited all his compatriots to the christening of his little “Marie Olga”993 Doct Law performed the solemn rite, the young Sec of our legation stood proxy for some uncle994 of the little black eyed stranger, Mrs Leland an Aunt lately arrived from Baltimore its god-mother.995 A Russian maminka996 brought the “dooshinka” or darling,997 to the drawing room & waited in her peculiar costume to receive her nursling back, from its mother when the christening was ended. Mrs Harrison seemed her good husbands chief source of interest & anxiety, he feared her being fatigued at the banquet which we all partook of & before it was ended, by a sign had an easy chair brought in that she might rest. As her health continued feeble she was not able to avail of invitations from Mr Ropes to all the American circle to keep the Yankee thanksgiving on the last thursday of Nov at his house, neither could she be one among us at a magnificent dinner given up by Mr Ingersoll our Ambassador998 immediately afterd but as change of scene, quiet, & entirely relief from domestic cares, were advised by her physician I had the guest chamber of our lodgings made as comfortable & cheerful as possible & invited her to make me a visit, she brought her little Alicia to renew her claim upon her God-mother & my good Mary occupying the next room to theirs took care of both. MƤH at first could only reach the drawingroom sofa by great exertion, but her strength & spirits daily improved & ere she left us, she even rose to family-prayers & breakfast. The annual birth day party for her Henry & Annie999 occured while their mother was with us, Mary went to Alexandrofsky with little Alicia & my boys to attend it, on Christmas eve our style, Mrs H & I had a snug quiet day by ourselves, she even exerted herself to get in next door, to spend an hour with my dear good neighbour Mrs Ropes, while I wrote my own dear Mother. Mr & Mrs Gellibrand came to us to tea. Whistler & Mr H arrived from A with the boys from the juvenile fête, bringing us fragments of good things, but little Alicia came not back to town. Aunty Maria kept her as a hostage, how surprised I was when my guests appeared at breakfast to hear they must return home to a Christmas dinner. But Mrs H looked as bright as the sunny day & I would not discourage her, by advising her to let Doct H1000 govern her movements. I went with her happy husband to the English book store1001 by stealth while she was directing Mary about her packing, to surprise her with a gift, it was indeed a seasonable one, a precious & elegant vol of family prayers with portions of scripture heading each & beautifully illustrated. When next I went to see her, she whispered me she had begun the New Year by using it regularly in her family circle! And since then herself & Mrs Leland have become members of our holy communion! MƤEastwick had gone up with me to the altar when I had no longer a daughter by my side, & now these two Sisters have joined us, how sacred becomes the bond in a foreign land, when those from a distant country become so united by love to the Lord Jesus! Oh may we be faithful witnesses for Him wherever His providence leads us! I was made member of a ladies committee (patronised by Lady Bloomfield of the committee patronised by Lady Bloomfield of the British Legation)1002 for visiting the newly established British school1003 as chiefly connected with our congregation, tho as Mr Gellibrand is one of its most generous supporters Mr & MƤEllerby of the chapel also are of the gentlemen & ladies committees. I should rather have been made teacher in a sabbath school at our church, but Doct Law thinks religious instruction will be connected with other courses of instruction at the British school — April 25ƫ 1848 And now in resuming my much neglected journal,1004 to give my dear mother as true a statement as I can of what occupies me while absent from her – I will briefly remark upon the success which has not yet crowned extraordinary efforts, for establishing this greatly needed seminary for the neglected children of English mechanics, weavers & all of that class in this city & its environs. No expense has been spared by owners of mills such as Mr Gellibrand, or Mr Baird who owns an enormous iron foundry &c, Mr Wood to prove himself a patron of the school besides unlimited pecuniary contribution, placed his own little boy as one of the boarders, having implicit trust in Mr & Mrs Smith (as an English clergyman, who were sent from England) to superintend the classes, assistant teachers for modern languages, governesses, house keeper, every necessary aid, to keep in order about forty children of both sexes. Doct & Mrs Law incessant in their supervision & the committees to attend monthly to inspect accounts &c, no trouble, no earthly means spared! yet evils unforseen have arisen, a want of unity among the directors, so that now the girls department is closed until another teacher can arrive to take Mrs Smiths place, as she is found not capable.1005 I have timidly again hinted the propriety of connecting a sunday - school with our church, why should we not among the thousand who claim membership with us find teachers, when in Mr Ellerbys little congregation of two hundred, they have a regular attendance of forty sunday scholars. God would no doubt bless our efforts if we began by asking his aid! I am using my persuasion with the Americans at Alexandroffsky to open a Sunday school there this season, as the room in which Mr Ellerby1006 preaches to them every Sunday afternoon would be ready for the school, & that devoted pastor could open it with prayer after his service. he has attended a bible class there weekly all winter. We have no religious instruction but from our pulpit & I fear youth is not so impressed by it as when it is personal, in a class. May the Holy Spirit teach the shepherds of Christs flock everywhere. I often sigh for some other evidences of devotion in our congregation, than the “Passion week” strict attendence at prayers in Church. During Lent theatrical performances are prohibited by law in Russia, & the Italian Opera is closed but morning concerts & tableaux vivant supply the want, & members of our church do not deny themselves these courtly substitues for the winters dissipation. I cannot be reconciled to these inconsistencies in those who call themselves followers of Christ. Do I lack charity? I hope not, for charity means love to God & to all mankind in Christ Jesus. I have had the privilige of meeting occasionally these few weeks past a most devoted christian who has been the guest of our neighbours Mr Merriellees, & have listened to the detailed accounts of the state of religion in the south of Russia which Mr Mellville1007 narrated to us, with intense interest, he has lately set out on his long journey to return to Odessa, which town has been his headquarters these last twelve years, he is a scotchman, but has acquired sufficient knowledge of many languages to communicate freely with Germans, Poles, Tartars, Turks, Armenians &c he seems most familiar with the jews & gives most cheering reports of their willingness to read the New Testament, he has often seen it used in their school, has there heard the youth in classes reading it. but Mahometuns also are eager to possess themselves of the scriptures, & to all the mingled population in all his journeyings for distribting the bible & tracts, he gives to those who are too poor to buy, tho he finds ready purchasers. he would trace his wanderings on the map, tell us where were the fire worshippers & linger over some points of the route to describe the wonders or the luxuriance of nature, where ignorance or superstition clouded the noblest work of God. he came to St P to replenish his stock of bibles & tracts. God has given him favor in the sight of some who hold great priviliges under this goverment, & their names are passports to gain him free access & egress on his journey, were he called a missionary he would be banished the country. God put it in his heart to come to this vast field of labour, he modestly asked protection as a stranger & waited for God to open the path of duty in His service, & it is marvelous the success which attends him, we will pray & hope God will impel other evangelical christians to follow his example. he says he only wants help, for the field is ripe for an abundant harvest. I often wished that my dear mother could listen to this extraordinary traveller! & thought too how much such christian friends as Mr Nichols or Mr Lee would have been interested in his recitals, he was so ready to communicate, & looked so sincere & so benevolent. When he described to me the condition of English emigrants thro out the interior of Russia, I felt grieved for them that they had abandoned all the free institutions of their native land, for uncertain pecuniary benefit, their children speaking only Russ, reading in no language! When I told him of the luxuries which in a few months has crept into the British school here, tho founded upon the most economical system only last summer! A dancing class clandestinely begun on Ash Wednesday! &c he sighed, & said how earnestly he wished schools suited to the necessities of the English at the south might be founded in this metropolis & in Moscow. he knows intimately the clergyman in Moscow1008 who arrived there last summer only, yet who has already done so much to improve his flock. he has given up two rooms in the parsonage for a school, he visits his people in the most friendly manner & prays often at their houses. his wife is also a fellow labourer with him in his congregation. It is cheering to hear of such a pastor of the protestant church any where on this continent, where temptations to lukewarmness & worldly policy, induce most to be mere preachers, deceiving themselves, they throw stumbling blocks in the way, by their own inconsistencies. We are now brought to an era of the world to make men stop & reflect, & ask themselves in what they place their trust. As my old friend Henriet Hallback1009 asks me in a letter I received last saturday from her at Frankfurt on the Maine “who would have dreamed three months ago of the revolutions which now prevail all over this continent. France a republic! Prussia with only a nominal king! the base policy of the crafty Metternich (1773–1859) no longer endurable & he obliged to flee from Austria, as Louis Philippe (1773–1850) & Guizot (1781–1874) from France. how many of Earths nobles seeking an asylum in England, the boasted soil of the free! yet Ireland is filled with British troops to quell rebellion there, & at the great meeting of the Chartists in London lately (the 10th of this month)1010 there were many threatening remarks againsts the expences of the royal family, such as “what entitled the queen-dowager to receive £100.000 per ann, while the wives & children of British subjects were starving?” May God so over-rule in the councils of Europe that a better state of society be ordered. As soon as the revolutions in the south and west reached the Emperors ears, he issued the following Ukase, which was read first in all the Greek churches on the sunday, with great effect by the priests, who made every heart throb with loyalty to their Sovereign. It was published in the journals the next day.1011

  Manifeste de S. M. L’ Empereur. Par la grace de Dieu. Nous, Nicolas Premier, Empereur et Autocrate de toutes les Russies. Etc- Savoir faisons:

Après les bénédictions d’une longue paix, l’Europe occidentale se trouve aujourd’hui livrée à des troubles qui menacent d’amener le renversement de toute autorité légitime, de tout ordre social.

  L’émeute et l’anarchie, qui d’abord ont éclaté en France, n’ont pas tardé à franchir la frontière de l’Allemagne, et s’y répandant comme un torrent destructeur dont la fureur s’accroit à raison des concessions faites par les gouvernements, ont fini par atteindre l’Empire d’Autriche et le royaume de Prusse, Nos alliès. Aujourd’hui, l’audace révolutionnaire ne connaissant plus de bornes, ose même dans sa démence menacer la Russie dont Dieu Nous a confié les destinées. Qu’il n’en soit pas ainsi! A l’exemple, de Nos Prédécesseurs fidèles à las sainte foi orthodoxe, après avoir invoqué le secours du Dieu Tout-Puissant, Nous attendrons Nos ennemis de pied ferme, de quelque côté qu’ils viennent, et sans ménager notre Personne, nous unissant plus étroitement que jamais à Notre Sainte Russie, nous défendrons l’honneur du nom Russe et l’inviolabilité de nos frontières. Nous sommes persuadé que chaque Russe, chacun de Nos fidèles sujets, répondra avec joie à l’appel de son Souverain, que notre antique devise: “Pour la foi, le Tsar, et la Patrie” Nous ouvrira aujourd’hui comme toujours le chemin de la victoire. Et alors, pénétrés d’un sentiment de pieuse reconnaissance comme Nous sommes aujourd’hui pleins d’une sainte confiance en Dieu, nous, Nous écrierons tous ensemble: Nobiscum Deus! audite populi, et vincimini: quia nobiscum Deus! Donné à St Petersbourg le quatorzième jour du mois de Mars, de l’an de grâce mil huit cent qurante-huit, et de notre règne le vingt-troisième.

Signé:

  Nicolas.

Judging from the effect of the delivery of this to the community first at the altar of God, by its solemnizing effect upon the mind of our Matvie,1012 the Empereur is recognized as the representative of God to his people here, “shall we fight against God”? they say, “no, we will spill our last drop of blood for our church & its head our Tsar.” The same sunday upon which the Ukase was made to form part of the service of the day, His majesty & the Empress were seen in an elegant carriage together in the Nevski at the fashionable hour for promenade & received the adulation of the crowd. indeed some reported the Emperor out several times that sunday & in various costumes, unusually brilliant.1013 In the course of the week appeared in the St Petersburg Journal another Manifeste from his majesty more expressly developing his intentions, a strict neutrality would be preserved towards other nations, unless they infringed the rights of this monarchy, closing in these terms. “La Russie ne souffira pas que “la propagande étrangère vienne souffler chez elle le feu de la sédition, “elle est fermement décidée à ne point souffrir que l’équilibre politique et “territorial, s’il venait à être modifié, puisse l’être a son préjudice. “Jusque la, elle se maintiendra dans une stricte neutralité, spectatrice “des événements; inoffensive, mais vigilante. En un mot, elle n’attaquera “point si elle n’est pas elle-même attaquée; elle respectera scrupuleusement “l’indepéndence et l’intégrité de ses voisins, si ses voisins ont soin de respecter “son intégrité et son independance.

We went one day son after this to the New Boulevard to see the Imperial family enter the chapel of the Menage, many of the court were with them altho the diplomatic corps had not been invited to attend, for our young Sec– was with us,1014 but even the green feather of his chasseur could not gain us admittance within the limits marked by the police, there was the most reverential silence pervading the respectful crowd, for it was known the Empereur & Imperial family were going to worship with some regiments on that most solemn festival of the Greek Church, I think it was the Epiphany, but no it could not have been, it was in Lent, & was probably some extraordinary festival to invoke the Virgin.1015 The loved Empres’s equipage was the last to enter the circle, she was attended by Pages in white uniform, indeed the Emperor & all the Grand Dukes uniforms were white with blue & gold & scarlet. There were many ladies of the court. and of course among them the young fiancée of the Grand duke Constantine, the Princess of Altenbourg.1016 Had I kept my diary as I ought, I should have recorded the grand ceremony of the betrothal of this young couple early in February old style, I went with a party of ladies to the Winter Palace & thro the favor shewn some of the English nursery governess in the service of the Hérétier, we were admitted by tickets to the gallery of one of the great halls thro which the Imperial family passed from their several apartments to their private chapel. It was a brilliant spectacle certainly, & quite exceeds my powers of description. I had counted about sixty dames d’ honneur, as they graced the hall in velvet robes of every hue with long trains richly embroidered in gold, silver or beads, their head ornament in form of a crown sparkling with jewels from which hung veils at each side, tulle sleeves also large & flowing from the mere shoulder strap of velvet.1017 these ladies attended by gentlemen of the court & military in the most gorgeous uniform seemed in gay conversation from the murmur of voices, but we know from private confession how wearisome are these ceremonies, so pompous, so heartless. At last all hurried to their places, the ladies had enough to do to spread out their trains to the best advantage, when the Emperor, Empress & all the Imperial family entered the hall from their apartments to pass thro to the Chapel. The young Princess of Altenbourg - having been confirmed the day preceding now bears the name of the Grand duchess Alexandra - she is tall with fair complexion & well formed. her dress was tulle over white satin, with wreaths of pink roses en crépe, in regular stripes from the bodice to the train, those who saw it near (as Young Ingersoll who told me) said there were rows of pearls between the beautiful pink roses. she wore emeralds; I had wished to gain admittance to the gallery of the chapel to witness the imposing ceremony of the Betrothal, my friend Miss T–1018 had used her influence, in vain it being appropriated to the children of the Imperial family. I heard the sweet solemn chaunting & judged how long the ceremony must be by the fatigue we felt in waiting, to see the royal procession pass out again.

Friday 19ƫof May 1848. This is the anniversary of my dear husbands birth day, the only gift I had to present him was a watch guard begun by Eliza Sandland1019 for him & finished by me. he accepted it with grace, telling me he had intended to surprise me with his portrait1020 today but could not get it done in time, how busy has memory been contrasting this birth day with the last when he presented dear Debo with a beautiful work box, & me with the handsomest escroiture he could find. dear girl how much I wish she could be beside her fond father this anniversary! Young Ingersoll has been calling & reminds me it is a year today since he arrived at St P, our friends the Bliss’ with our ambassador.1021 What a contrast in the weather! now so hot we can only venture out to walk before breakfast or after tea, & have our balcony door open to admit the breeze from the Neva, then the harbour was full of ice & the shore covered with snow, & we all going out in Shubes Yesterday1022 was the grand review in the Champ de Mars, once seeing that is enough imposing as it is, & the heat of the weather being so excessive & so sudden, we were better off in the shady walks of the Summer Gardens, there is only a Canal between them & the Champ de Mars, so we heard the martial music (rather a treat in St P tho there is so much military) & saw the plumes waving. we returned to our own sweet cool lodging, by water as we had gone. our next door neighbours had witnessed the parade from a window at the Count Koushiloffs,1023 but Mrs R-s pity for the poor soldiers in the heat almost deprived her of enjoyment tho her own position was so delightful. Indeed the effect of these pageants are destoyed by quiet reflection!

Monday [May] 22Ơ1024 I gratefully record this as one of the most favored days of my life. at least I know not when my heart has been so full of good emotions. We were quite ready to rise early this lovely summer morning after the rest of the blessed sabbath & as Whistler had to be at the portrait painters1025 by eight o clock & Jemie was to go as fathers companion I had a motive to be up early that they might have a slight repast. As I looked at the thermometer 23 deg of heat I opened the window of our room to let in the pure morning breeze, the Neva looked like a mirror. When at seven o clock Whistler & I were passing thro the drawing room to assemble the family at prayers, we saw American letters upon the table & were induced to peep into one from Doctor Palmer to see the news. My Sister Kate the blessed mother of another little girl born on the 7ƫ of April1026 & both & all so well! Oh that I could always have a heart so full of thankfulness in approaching the footstool of mercy, which I have experienced this day! When Willie & Mons Biber1027 had gone out to walk & I had attended to my household affairs to secure myself from interruption, I took my letters to the cool balcony & oh what a feast I had! why did my tears almost blind me as I eagerly perused one from my tender mother so full of interesting details of this Spring in her Florida home? it was from the fullness of happiness in being so loved by such a dear mother, and when before dinner my husband asked me to read to him the letters from our native land, I saw him wipe his eyes at our mothers expressions of tender attachment for us, then dear Kates letter written just previous to her confinement how affectionate its tone, & her good husbands p-S filled up the measure of my satisfaction I thought, but no! other favors came & I found myself as eager to devour Debos fond words, & my Sister Alicias account of her journey from Scotland, her visit to Westmoreland & to Preston. A strange & painful idea had impressed me in the unusually long silence which preceded these letters from my native land, I began to dread that our five years absence had weaned all but mother from us!

June. The first saturday of this month1028 my dear James was taken ill with one of his attacks of rheumatic fever, I watched him night & day at first in the far back chamber, & then removed him to my room on the quai, it being more quiet, his dear father delayed his trip to Moscow till Jemie was able to leave his bed & sit up in an easy chair, when he decided to take Willie as his companion in the survey of his rail road,1029 the cholera having increased in Moscow he could only venture there for a few hours. at midnight on monday the 19ƫ of this month they bade us adieu the heat then was excessive, so that I wondered at Whistler providing either himself or Willie with warm suits for the journey, but even by the next evening a change had come over our atmosphere & we had a succession of gusts, of rain & hail, indeed snow had whitened the ground for hours on the islands. Then the cholera was announced in St Petersburg as numbering its hundreds of victims daily! the papers at the same time reporting that the pestilence was increasing in the interior. Our good doctor was obliged to embark for England for his own health1030 during Whistlers absence from us, his going had long since been contemplated, that he should leave Jemie convalescing was some comfort to Doct Rogers & as he had decided us to change the climate for him also, he expressed the hope that soon we should meet in London. Debilitated as I was by anxiety, & loss of rest at night, it was no wonder I should have felt more than slightly indisposed, as many were complaining around me, then the tidings of deaths among acquaintances added to the depressing influence of the strange weather. I discovered even our good, sensible, cook1031 who reads her bible & fears God had imbibed the popular prejudice & was attributing the cholera to poison, which she said enemies (the Poles were having strewed among the vegetable shops, & even in the river, she feared to buy rice or aught else from the green grocers,1032 where we had dealt for five years. I tried to lead her to a higher source, to put her trust in God, to follow our good doctors advice about diet, & humbly to rely on the Ruler over all for a blessing, & an answer to our prayers. Twice I wrote my dear husband, & from his silence argued that he was hastening home, he & dear Willie surprised us at midnight on the 28ƫ I had just risen from my knees for my heart was too sad to let me rest, & was wiping the tears away, when I heard them listening at the door of Jemies sick chamber afraid to disturb him. How happy I felt to go out, & prepare their room for them, as Mary had long been asleep. Ivan1033 soon got some water to boil in the Sumava & they made a slight repast, after which I bathed Willie, who seemed to me fatter than ever, tho he had been terrified by rumours of cholera.

July. thursday 6ƫ on board the Camilla,1034 bound for London, lying off Copenhagen to while away time I continue at my desk after having finished my report of our voyage to my husband, until our quarantine is fulfilled & we are allowed an hour on shore, ere we proceed tonight on our voyage, I was too entirely occupied in attendance upon Jemie, & in making our arrangements for leaving home, so hurried at the last! to do more than pack my journal in my desk, to add to my notes in England in case of leisure, but I find it here, unwished for, the cholera in St P having inflicted upon us a quarantine here, the steamers always stop for coals on their way between St P & London, thus the passengers usually spend the six or seven hours pleasantly in viewing the pretty town of Copenhagen & its rural environs. James having already gained sufficient strength at sea was planning our visiting the church so celebrated for Thorswaldens statuary1035 & Willie was petitioning for a peep at Tivoli gardens,1036 while I had determined upon a drive to Fredricksbourg1037 the capt put to shore in his long boat with his papers promising to come back for us directly, but he returned to make us feel like half crying, half laughing, as he described their taking his papers from his hands with the tongs & smoking them, ere they would open or read them. the doctors boat soon followed his & alas it bore the green flag a signal for quarantine. Yet prisoners tho we have been since yesterday noon, we have all been in fine spirits, and have profited by the excellent market, the agent of our English steward having brought along side fresh bread, milk & fish for breakfast, and our dessert delicious ripe strawberries & cream, besides goose berry tart & fine ripe cherries in abundance, not to mention fresh lamb. Our 4th of July we spent wretchedly enough with a strong head-wind, sending most to their berths. but today we have had a respite from our sorrows. we left Cronstadt last saturday evening, my dear husband went from St P with us, as also Mr Eastwick & WƟ Merriellees accompanied him. Sunday1038 we had rain, but the ship went on quietly & I read with comfort with my boys all day, on monday1039 we were on deck occasionally, tho the wind was rather fresh, Jemie took no cold as we had furs & plaidies. we have an agreable set of passengers. Our Ambassador & his Son, an Italian Countess & her companion going from the cholera to her estate in England. a Danish gentlemen whom we shall leave with regret at Copenhagen this evening he has been so polite. A french gentleman is very amusing to my boys & he goes all the way to London; we have two English ladies, & expect to take in another from C this evening. Mr Ingersolls french cook is among the forward passengers, & so is a Hindoo1040 whose portrait Jemie is wishing to take.

Shantlin.1041 Isle of Wight – its southern coast.

Saturday July 22Ơ This my darling Willies twelvth birth day I have spent entirely devoted to his pleasure I bathed with him in the beautiful summer sea & poor Jemie was envious that he also could not for the doctors think the bracing air here as much as he can bear, we three had a sea-side ramble & then returned to rest at our cottage until dinner-time, I plied the needle while my boys amused themselves Willie in making wax flowers & Jemie in drawing. we spend every afternoon in rambling over the hills or thro shady lanes, & now having just come in, they write their journals;1042 would that my notes were not so far behind hand! I must even run back to Copenhagen for I wished my dear mother with me the brief hours enjoyment we had in our visit to its deservedly far famed church. Our chargé Mr Flennigen1043 brought his barge along side our steamer as soon as he knew the doctors had left the quai to liberate us, it was so roomy & he so polite that the Countess & her maid, Mr Sharon the Danish gentleman1044 & the doctor1045 were accommodated with seats as well as us Americans, the motive of the latter for returning to the town in our party, was discovered upon our landing, for as Mr Sharon was putting us in a carriage & directing the driver how to proceed to shew us the most possible in our limited time, the good old gentleman stepped up & begged most gallantly to be our valét de place,1046 he proved a great acquisition, & seemed a true patriot as well as proud citizen of Copenhagen, pointing out its palaces1047 (which to us were so simple in comparison to those of St P. – but the church he was most enthusiastic about, & detecting Jemies love for sculpture he became most devoted to him. We only wished for many hours instead of one to examine & admire, as the statuary exceeded all we had seen.1048 The figure of our Saviour1049 I like better than any attempt at similitude of Him than I ever saw before. the expression is so benign & so commanding, the arch under which it is placed - as the altar piece - is gilded richly, the statue of white marble as is also the figure of an Angel1050 in front, kneeling it holds a pure white shell & is thus the baptismal font. The ladies of the congregation worked a square carpet for the font to be placed on,1051 down each side of the church are the apostles, six on each side, against the wall, full length & also of white marble, equally beautiful, we only wanted time to linger & feast our eyes, tho we tried to impose on ourselves & fancy the mellow of twilight increased the effect of our view of the church. We also saw the Sarcophagus of Thorswalden,1052 in a small chapel at the side, flowers faded & dried were strewed over it, & our friend the Doctor - who had known & loved the artist personally - seemed to feel it was holy ground he was upon. as did our enthusiastic Jemie. On the outside of the church, there is also Thorswaldens work, St John preaching in the wilderness,1053 every figure highly finished & in marble, so superior to the stucco images of St P.1054

But now I must change the scene to our arrival in London monday night the 10ƫ inst.1055 Mơ Fairbanks1056 had been on the look out for us, as we ought to have been in on saturday, but the head winds & our quarantine accounted for our delay. he so kindly urged me to go home to his house, that late as it was & tho I had never seen Mrs F,1057 I gratefully acceeded & our welcome from my countrywoman was a proof of her amiability, she insisted upon giving us tea & some slight repast & it was soon served at midnight, such is the good training of English maids & the excellent arrangement of their kitchens. The motion of our steamer still making me dizzy, I found it impossible to coax sleep; at last I was glad when four oclock struck to get up & write my own dear Whistler,1058 I also wrote a note to my Sister Winstanley to announce my safe arrival in her adopted country.1059 When I looked out of my dressing room window into their pretty flower garden & beyond it into Hyde Park1060 I realized with gratitude to our Almighty Preserver that we were no longer tossing about upon the fathomless deep, in the confinement of a ships cabin. Our hospitable host had no idea how many hours I had been up when we at nine oclock exchanged the salutations of the morning, he had been so careful that we should not be disturbed! it was ten when a very nice & substantial breakfast assembled us around the table, I was thankful to have an appetite, for my head was dizzy & I anticipated illness such as hung over me long after my last years arrival from sea in England. but this year I have escaped it, thro the mercy of God, who “tempers the wind to the shorn lamb”1061 When I left Mr Fairbank’s family to walk to Sloane St (not more than ten minutes walk from Albert Terrace) it was with a promise to his children1062 soon to return with my boys to them, for I supposed Debo at a sea-side place, but only Mary went back that day & it was to have our luggage brought to Mr Hadens. Seymour himself met us at his door & after heartily welcoming us, ran up stairs for our own darling Debo, who had returned from Ramsgate1063 purposely to be at home on our arrival, they had been enquiring when the Camilla would be in, but it was a surprise at last, as we arrived in the night. I found my dear girl looking better than when she was a bride & happy as she was then I am sure she is even happier now.1064 my own anxieties pressed less heavily upon my spirit under Seymours roof where all is so well ordered, he & Debo truly are one, their tastes the same perfect harmony & cheerfulness reigns. I only missed one comfort in their home, family worship. but as I know they each trace their Saviours love in all mercies, I trust they will have the wish put into their hearts to raise a family altar, & that their servants may be servants of the living God.1065 dear Debos health may have prevented her rising regularly early & his profession interfered with the assembling all together day by day. besides his brother Charles often was obliged to breakfast & go down to the city1066 ere we had left our rooms. I was much pleased with Mr & Mrs Charles H1067 as inmates, they are soon to go to house keeping & will be very near neighbours, these fond brothers – Seymours Mother & youngest sister Rose also live in their neighbourhood.1068 the Sunday I spent in Sloane SƱ I went to the church Seymour & Debo attend regularly, where I was edefied by a most practical & elegant sermon from their pastor Mr Burgess.1069 he is the successor to Blunt whose writings are now so widely circulated & admired. In the afternoon I went with my boys to Westminster Abbey, where I was pleased to observe the devotion of the crowd, we could could scarcely elbow our way up to the pews, and yet could find no seat a very polite young lady insisted upon Jemie sharing hers in turn, probably she discovered his being still on the invalid list. We listened to a discourse from Revelations, from a celebrated preacher,1070 it was quite opposed to the Second Advent of Christ,1071 which now so many lead their congregations to expect. As we walked home thro St James Park & the beautiful squares surrounding Buckingham Palace1072 we were struck with the quiet in comparison to the week day bustle. this is as it should be among a people professing to read their bibles; no doubt in the thoroughfares of the city we should have been more disturbed. In the evening Debo proposed sacred music adding, “I know Mother would like it! & she begged her “mama” to lead at the piano. they could not chaunt without “Uncle Clarke”1073 who was ill, but all the Hadens united their voices in sacred melodies, except Seymour who was obliged to visit his patients. I have omitted to record the day upon which Debo went with myself & boys to see my old friend, Mrs Shaw,1074 at Clapham. I lamented that it was too late for me to see once more the venerable Grandmother of her children, Mrs Wardrobe1075 was on her death bed! but dear Mrs Shaw did not assume a distressed tone in telling me how soon she must lose her excellent mother, for she knows the aged saint has long been waiting a summons from her Lord to go to “the Old Mans home”. When I asked her, if her mother would remember me, to express my regrets at being too late to pay my respects after eighteen years since we had parted, she answered “oh she would quite recollect you, but she is too far spent to make the exertion to welcome you as she would wish” dear Mrs Shaw retains the same cheerful, lady like, deportment I was charmed with when I was her guest at Chelsea eighteen summers past & the same air of refinement in her home, only some luxuries have been added, by the industry of her young ladies she told me, elegant embroidered chairs & other gifts from her pupils, & more valuable than these because her mothers work a beautiful white lambs wool rug, which she says is displayed in summer, but carefully put away when dark days would soil it. When she proposed to my boys. that they should go out into the garden to have a feast of gooseberries & they thanked her in their happiest expression, she could tell me how it delighted her to see them such little gentlemen, she said many gratifying things gratifying to a mothers partiality & in questioning me about my number, said in her own sweet way “ah then these are the pet lambs!” I asked about her own, she has yet the number I had caressd as little ones at Calcutta House,1076 her three sons1077 all abroad, one had married & would soon be bringing his two motherless babes home to her arms. I was sorry not to see Kate & Georgianna,1078 they had gone out for the day on a pic-nic. Debo invited them to dinner, but they wrote of an engagement. What an encouragement Mrs Shaws case is to all to do their duty in the state of life to which God has appointed them looking to Him for the reward. when I first knew her 18 years ago, she had lately been left a destitute widow of a West Indian physician1079 who had from his practise in Marlow maintained her handsomely, but looking forward to long years had laid up nothing, she a fond wife, was almost in despair, her pious Mother example led her to cast her care upon God, not doubting, or wavering! & fragile tho her constitution was she opened a preparatory school for boys, her brother in India1080 had influence to get pupils there for her, & her establishment was thus appropriately named Calcutta house, she has educated her own children & given them every advantage, since her two daughters have been of an age to assist in the school, she removed to Clapham & opened it for young ladies,1081 they have every refinement around them. But now it is high time I begin to describe the Isle of Wight1082 of which too much cannot be said in praise, we had been four days at Madeira Cottage when I dated this last fragment1083 of my poor attempt at jounalizing for my dear mother. Debo could not accompany us from Sloane St, so I left Mary to attend her when she should be ready, myself & boys had the inside of a commodious rail carriage to ourselves to Gosport,1084 where we embarked in a ferry steamer & were soon at Ryde1085 on the Island, I should have felt interested in the town even had it been made less attractive by nature than I found it, for Cousin Anne Clunie1086 had talked much to me of its scenes when she interested herself in getting my boys placed last summer in a clergymans family, it is a beautiful place from its many gardens, & hedges, green is so refreshing to a town it is hilly too, its fine pier is the fashionable promenade, but were I a sojourner there I should delight more in the rural walks at the back of the town, & its sea beach where my boys could pick up pretty shells. I hired a chaise peculiar to the Island with only curtains at the sides, it was a remarkably bright day so that we were glad not to shut out the view, every turn in our road which was quite undulating, brought variety & beauty to our gaze. Willie did not forget Legh Richmonds descriptions of Brading as we were passing it & wished to stop to look for the grave of the “little cottager Jane.”1087 We looked at one lodging house at Sandown1088 en passant, tho our driver assured me I should be better suited at Shanklin1089 & as Seymour had recommended our coming to this village, I resisted the fine open bay which is so attractive to sea bathers & am well pleased I was led hither, for we have even greater sources of enjoyment in the country walks, corn fields, shady lanes & flowers, Willie has copied many in wax (for dear Sis provided him with a stock in London, when Seymour gave Jemie a paint box) we have frequent showers in this hilly nook & are glad of such resources in doors. there are two very commodious hotels (Daish’s the new, & William’s the old)1090 two provision shops, two butchers stalls, two shoe makers, one baker & a blacksmiths shop,1091 the two last have rival ponies to hire at 2/6 for two hours, and there are two donkies at 6 pence per hour. so we have all we want, but the most interesting object to Jemie is Shanklin Chine, a wide chasm in the cliff where he would fain station himself to sketch the water fall, by the hour if I would let him expose himself to catching cold in so damp a shelter, pretty cottages peep out, thro shrubbery on its sides, winding paths are kept in nice order & with steps at their turns enable one to ascend to the downs above the cliff, & as all face the sea, seats there are for those who choose quietly to sit & read.1092 “Tower Cottage” is at the head of the Chine,1093 the house itself is so enclosed we can only see its thatch covered with vines by intruding, for upon the gates leading to it we read “no thoroughfare.” yet I have ventured to the very door, for I never lose a chance to make the impression of the beautiful on my mind; In one of our afternoon strolls (Jemie always carrying his sketch book under his arm & Willie the camp-stool in shape of a walking stick for our invalid to rest while seeking health & recreation) we discovered the little village church,1094 it is in so retired a corner rather out of the village in the direction of the road to Luccumbe,1095 Bon Church1096 & Ventnor,1097 we meet stage coaches & jaunting cars going to these places, but never any bustle or dust. a shower often overtakes us, & then bright sunshine dries us ere we can take cold. What a healthy climate this is, never chilly yet never warm, myrtles grow to an astonishing height, fusias are very plentiful, often reaching the top of the thatch, so gaily ornamenting the cottage gardens, I am quite sure I have seen some here ten feet high! I have so wished for Kate to feast her eyes! in this very luxuriant soil if the inhabitants only had a pastor like Oberlin1098 how abundant might be their harvest, & we should not have to pay such an unreasonable price for gooseberries &c, as we do, also for shrimps lobsters & crabs, but the shell fish is remarkably fine, & our house keeper Mrs Reid1099 dresses crabs most temptingly. the country people bring us fresh Eggs, chickens, fresh culled vegetables &c every day, so tho we pay dear for these (luxuries to us from Russia) we have the most wholesome nourishment for our money. We get excellent milk, set it for cream for coffee, yet it is rich enough not to appear like skim milk & is our common beverage for dinner. Then, our pretty cottage faces the sea & has quite an air of seclusion from its garden enclosure & hawthorn hedge, yet it is only a step from the kitchen paling to Higgs the baker. or from Merwoods our grocers. One half of Madeira cottage when we came to it was occupied by a family consisting of parents & three youths, but they kept themselves to their own apartments, & vacated them yesterday without our having exchanged any civilities. in an hours time they were taken by a young couple, who brought an only little daughter with their servant maid,1100 we had a continuance of rainy weather so that the juvenile members amused themselves within, or they had surely introduced themselves & brought us all together in the pretty flower garden which encloses our cottage in its front towards the sea. the Philipp’s & ourselves had become quite social, after my boys advances by inviting little Anna Maria to play with them in our parlor, she walked with us to meet Debo, when we were led to expect her one afternoon. we had to walk back instead of returning in the travelling carriage, for Sister & Mary did not arrive till the next day (And now I ought to have changed my date for they had1101 here more than a week when dear Debo came,1102 I take up my journal when I have a leisure hour & thus it is irregular) How the boys had longed for their loved Sisters coming! but she had been to Bath1103 with her husband to visit some of his best friends & then to refresh herself in her own sweet home after that long journey, but at last we had her to ourselves! she came laden with good things for the boys who had only wanted herself - a beautiful bow & arrows from Seymour to Willie as a birth day gift, a block drawing book with paint box purposely for sketching out of doors for Jemie & a loaf cake for both, besides many nice relishes for our cottage table. among other things the rennet in wine1104 I had written for was not forgotten, & we have had sweet curd every afternoon, milk is so excellent in this fine farming district. Now little Anna Maria could spare me from the circle in playing “pretty fair maid”1105 & dance up to the boys sister when they played on the green, while we parents sat to see the innocent frolics of our children at the evening hour under the verandah, but one day about a week after Debos arrival there might have been a sad termination to their sports but for the providential escape which God in his mercy ordered, for “without His knowledge not even a sparrow falleth to the ground,”1106 & I love to trace His care of us even in small matters. Some of our St Petersburg acquaintances having come to Shanklin for health, have attached their party to ours, right glad to find us here, that never to be forgotten afternoon, Mrs Morgan & her little Fanny1107 came by invitation to pass at our cottage. I took the mama one of my favorite strolls, while Debo kindly acceeded to the wish of the boys & two little girls to go with them to a beautiful large green field, where they carried her camp stool & Crochet work that she might sit & watch them shoot at a mark with Willies new bow & arrow. As Mrs M & I returned after our delightful walk; we saw Debo & little Anna Maria coming up the slope towards the village, we halted to meet them & soon I became alarmed by their grave expression, they both burst into tears as I addressed them, & Oh how shocked I was that Debo had been hit by the arrow so close to her eye I shuddered to perceive how narrow the escape from putting the eye out! little Anna Maria kept weeping & saying “I did not mean to hurt Mrs Haden, indeed I did not but I could not manage the strong bow” But when we all assembled at tea, the eye having been bathed in tepid water & a small plaister covered the wound, dear Debo had recovered her composure & comforted the affectionate child, all had brought home appetites to enjoy the sweet curd, raspberries, brown or white bread & butter, after which the two boys & two little girls danced on the green till their bed time. Mrs Morgans maid1108 took Miss Fanny to the hotel, James & Willie bade us good night & then Mrs M regaled Debo with St Petersburg anecdotes, describing Mrs Bairds1109 fancy ball & all such things which had engaged lovers of such false pleasures the past winter. What a contrast has that city presented this summer to the frivolities of the long winter, it has been desolated by the cholera, as many as could, fled to other towns but the pestilence has pursued them to all the towns on the frontiers of Russia, my dear husband never clouds his reports1110 of his own health & of the preservation of that of our faithful domestics with these fearful details, but Mrs Morgans reads to me hers, I am afraid to say how many hundred funerals a day Mr M1111 records, as an illustration of the depressing effects of the pestilence which has caused every Russian to mourn the loss of some relative, the shops of the Gostinandvor were so deserted as to be closed, & Mr M writes scarcely an Ishvostic could be obtained to drive about the city, which generally is so thronged at every corner with these drivers of droshkey in summer & sledge in winter, but all the peasantry fled from their occupations in the city, in number it is calculated one hundred & forty thousand! most of whom perished from hunger & thirst on their journey, for the people in the country shut up their wells from the superstitious belief that the water would be poisoned, & tho so hospitably inclined as to share their brown bread & salt or milk with every one who demands it, they barred their cabin doors & steeled their hearts against those who came from the infected city. Since then we have heard of the cholera diminishing in St Petersburg but raging in the interior, in Moscow it has been far worse than it was last winter, it began there! We have felt interested in meeting several families here whom we did not visit in St P. Willie had heard Russ spoken in the village of Shanklin by some few individuals, with surprise, I advised him to chime in, it would be like music to the ears of strangers in a foreign land, so he charmed a nurse of the child of a Baroness1112 one day, who entreated him to become a visiter at their cottage & be a play fellow with the little girl, he occasionally went, the nurse who had picked up a little English, would get Willie to read tracts to her, & explain the good stories in Russ to the little girl who knows only her native tongue. Willie was surprised & pleased to see the bible in the nursery there.

August 1ƪ Tuesday. At the two extreme points of the little village of Shanklin are the places of worship a very small church where the Arch Deacon1113 who has lived half a century at the Parsonage, preaches once on the Lords day, alternately morning & afternoon here, the other half he has service at another village, for he keeps no Curate, and thus a small dissenting Chapel1114 has been built at the entrance of Shanklin, which of course is crowded when the church is closed, & always so well attended that a subscription is being raised for enlarging it, a very zealous & eloquent young minister comes from Brading to preach once on the sabbath, & the other part of the day one of the deacons reads & prays with the people. I went to the Sunday school last sunday1115 afternoon with MƤ Phillips, we were sorry we had not taken Willie & Anna Maria who wished to accompany us – for Mr Smith1116 the minister addressed the children in a deeply impressive & interesting manner. he preached in the evening Willie went with me, there was not a vacant seat in the Chapel, he preaches without notes from the bible open in his hand, which he seems to know by heart, & prays from the abundance of the heart. The name of dissenter is merged in that of christian, when I meet with such an one as MơSmith, my mite shall be given, not to the new chapel projected, but for the purchase of a few books for their sunday school, such as “The Week”1117 suitable to this community, and under Gods blessings my selection of a few volumes, may be the foundation of a library for the Sunday school which the poor children seem to need to encourage them & to make them delight in their study. I have gone several times to “The Parsonage” to see the myrtles1118 which the guide books points out to the notice of the tourist as the finest in the Island, the Arch Deacon is evidently gratified to exhibit them to visiters, he came out himself to give us their history, they cover completely the south side of the parsonage, openings are cut thro them for the windows, & they are cropped annually to prevent their getting above the thatch, he put aside the branches to shew us the thickness of the trunk, he told us they must be at least a century old, that he had lived at the parsonage fifty years & they had always been as now during that time. What will the Lord say to this steward, that no trees of righteousness have sprung up,1119 no young plants now nurtured, no sunday school connected with this branch of His church! the parsonage seems to be all its occupant has really to boast of, it is a charming place, not only myrtles, but fusias rhododendrums, lauristinas are of an extraordinary size & beauty there, and as a proof of the mildness of this climate, this shrubbery which flourishes only in the southern states of my native land, is never covered here. The old house keeper1120 dressed in mourning & fat as the Arch deacon himself came out to take up the tale when the church dignitary retired, commended the wisdom of her master in giving their home such an air of seclusion by the planting of a hedge of trees between it & the village, especially now since Shanklin has become such a place of resort to sea bathers. We had in truth been induced to search for the parsonage by the guide book. I fear, not many weary & heavy laden souls1121 find it a place of refreshment!

Wednesday [August] 2Ơ Yesterday the weather was so invitingly fine, the Phillips & ourselves went to Bonchurch it was a pedestrian excursion, but we took two donkeys (slinging a prog basket on one) Mrs P & her little girl rode theirs by turns, Debo & Jemie the other, for the distance there & back was fully five mile, up hill all the road thither, I did not feel that I had blistered my feet till our return, for I was too much engrossed in admiration of the beautiful scenery, the pretty village of Bonchurch, has a finer church1122 than Shanklin, it probably gave name to it, & may be the corner stone to it, for the elegant cottages all look new, these two places ought not to be compared, Shanklin is so green, such rural scenery, with its rich pasturage, corn fields & fine trees & hedges, the village built on the sloping sides of the green hills which enclose it, “country down to the sea beach”1123 Bonchurch1124 has an equal air of quiet, but its position is bolder, the cottages are all facing the sea, but for bathers it must be fatiguing to climb the steep cliffs almost perpendicular, to their cottages which are on terraces of the cliffs, high flights of steeps are cut, we had wound our way by the coach road to the base of the cliff where there is a beautiful pond encircled by pretty walks & shaded by trees, with swans swimming about it, & pleasure boats on its sides as tho they at times were in requisition, the shops are opposite, few in number, but much more stylish than those of Shanklin. I stepped into a labourers cottage where I saw milk was sold, to buy some to moisten our bun & to beg the loan of a few chairs, that we might rest by the pretty little lake. the children would fain have shared their cake with the graceful swans, but their long walk had made them so hungry! the milk was like cream & the girls who brought & took away the chairs when at last we set out upon our return, were so pretty & so respectful! Debo went under the protection of the Donkey girl the same road we had entered the village, we mounted the flight of steps (I wish I had counted them it was such a height) thus we had a close inspection of the different style in the cottages & their flower gardens, making such a beautiful contrast to the perpendicular cliffs which towered above them all, yeilding us a fine view of the sea which we could not see when we were by the side of the lake. Our road home being down hill most of the way, we easily reached it, to our three oclock dinner. I was rejoiced at the proof both Debo & Jemie gave of not being fatigued, by their sallying forth before tea for a stroll, Willie is never tired except when confined to his lessons two hours in the morning when he sighs for freedom to range at pleasure. so they all went, & I followed my inclination in writing dear father of their health & happiness.1125

Saturday. [August] 6ƫ1126 This morning bright sunshine enlivened us after the nights rain & wind which had battered against our casements facing the sea Mr P invited Jemie to walk with him along the shore to Ventnor to search for fossils, the promise I made Willie to bathe with him reconciled him to staying behind. I will not enter into details of Mrs P-s alarm in her bath with little Anna Maria. the current was strong & she a timid bather, but I regretted she had trusted to my skill instead of that of the guide who generally assists her, I have spent the whole morning in calming her, the dreadful thought that she might have drowned her child has made her so nervous she has wept, tho the little girl soon forgot her terror in the water, in playing with Willie & looks rosy & bright as ever. Our pedestrians got back at four oclock, just1127 I had told Mary we should wait no longer for dinner, they had had a mule chaise part of the way returning so Jemie was not tired.

Monday [August] 8ƫ1128 The day being unusually fine MƢ Phillips took the boys on a pedestrian excursions along the shore to Culver Cliffs,1129 they left soon after breakfast, carrying a hammer for they were to search for fossils & they took a prog basket, we agreeing to take a carriage after our early dinner to meet them at Brading as we all desired to see the grave of “little Jane the Cottager. Our drive lay along the sea side, we admired this prettiest aspect of Sandsdown; A new, gothic, chapel1130 attracted us at the entrance of Brading overling a beautiful bay of the same name, & having taken Mr P & our boys into our carriage (for they were waiting for us at 1131 Jemie having toiled up the hill from the shore with what he supposed was a fossil tortoise) we determined to alight & have a closer examination of the prettiest chapel we had seen in the Isle of Wight, it being enclosed by a flower garden, which as we entered proved to be a burial ground, flourishing plants too there were in all basement windows. we supposing they might be in school or lecture rooms peeped in, and were recognised by the young pastor – no other than the eloquent preacher Mr Smith to whom we were in the habit of listening the half of every Lords day at the Shanklin chapel, he came out to the garden, urging us to enter his dwelling, for the basement proved to be the home of his nice young wife & two fine healthy children.1132 the entrance to it was thro the chapel down a carpetted stair case, it seemed to be divided into four rooms, one a library: all looked like the abode of contentment & piety, cheerfulness beaming in the face of the young pastor as he fondled his little girl. then he took us up stairs to admire the neatly finished church & I thought how gladly I could worship there. Brading is prettily situated but more of a village than Shanklin, and lacking its shade & verdure. We gained admittance into the church where that servant of the Lord – L Richmond – had so faithfully performed the duties of Pastor1133 – for the old sexton1134 lingered there after vespers – & as he shewed us the church talked of the past, but spoke also in the praise of the present rector,1135 whose clerical robes made us suspect he must be a Pusyite,1136 for the gown without a collar & his cap made him look like a Romish priest. Some children hovering around the door offered to shew us the grave of “little Jane” which is marked by a neat stone.11371136 we drove up to the cottage where this lamb of the fold of Richmond had often drawn his steps1138 & found it roofless tho the lower story was occupied by a poor family. We reached Shanklin in time for early tea.

Tuesday [August] 9ƫ1139 Received & answered my dear husbands letter in which he reported his having been ill1140 & how desolate would have been our deserted home but for the kindness of our friends. Mrs E left her infant1141 for a day to sit by his bed side & Mr E passed several nights in watching him.1142 May God who thus provides for his comfort, reward his comforters! my dear Whistler had yeilded to the wish of Mr & Mrs G1143 and had gone to their datcha as soon as able to leave his bed, Mr Ropes family1144 always spend the summer under this Sisters hospitable roof – And Mr Woods family i e governess & 7 nice children1145 have gone to a cottage on the same estate, so my dear husband is surrounded by those who will interest him. Ah if wishes would bring him to Shanklin he’d soon be among us! let me not repine that I am detained from my post. Debo & Jemie are both benefitting by my stay here, in the evenings we occupy ourselves by reading aloud in turn with working, Jemie with his sketch book & Willie trying to imitate the beautiful flowers we gather in our daily rambles – in wax work, he has taken a fancy to young MƤ Charles Haden1146 & purposes forming a bouquet in wax to present her on her birth day, as Sister is making a set of doileys in Crochet for the same occasion, showery weather gives us time for in door occupations. And we run for the pitchers to supply our rooms with soft water!

Wednesday [August] 10ƫ1147 In the hope that Jemie might have a chance to finish his sketch of Cooks Castle,1148 where we had first gone with MƢ & MƤ Phillips & found the walk so enchanting we set out after an early dinner & were joined by our next door lodgers the Parlans,1149 a donkey of course in attendance to prevent fatigue to Debo or Jemie. how charming again we found the varied scenery, leaving pretty Shanklin by shady lanes, crossing extensive fields of waving grain, & entering the plantations of Yarborough.1150

St Petersburg. 1848. September.

It was impossible to keep up my journal in England, but now I may from memory take a few notes. What a proof of attachment in Mr Winstanley1151 who tho so much more feeble in health this year proposed that he & my Sister Eliza should join us at Shanklin, as we could not visit the old home in Preston. They arrived one rainy afternoon – but there were few days without rain this summer – and I find it has been cold here as it was in England – a bright fire in the cottage parlor grate increased the warmth of our welcome, for Mr Winstanley had been standing in the rain while crossing the ferry at Ryde. our simple country fare exactly suited him, the excellent milk at dinner he partook of, as wine he had long abstained from, Seymour had sent us some, with silver for the use of our guests. but my sister enjoys most the variety one meets in different situations of life & she would have been amused at our one silver fork & few spoons & would have been the merriest at expedients to help off our rural board. At our family devotions my brother Winnie always was close to me that he might hear & derive benefit & comfort. his deafness having increased with his other bodily weaknesses. We would walk out between the showers. the beach being his favorite promenade – While shetering ourselves one day at the curiosity shop under the cliff, a most lovely looking & young lady came in with her golden haired little boy - about three years of age, to purchase some toy for him. We could not resist asking the woman of the shop who they were when they went to Lady Napiers cottage1152 close by - and this proved to be the lady of the brother to the gallant – Admiral Napier who had been lost so lately at sea1153 & it was he who had built the beautiful cottage facing the sea for his devotedly fond mother, whose wish was to reside as near the element connected with his profession as possible – My sister Eliza has discovered – since she left Shanklin – thro her correspondent Miss MacLean1154 now residing at Bath but formerly of Scotland – that Lady N was an intimate friend of theirs at Berwick1155 – had she known this we might have seen the inside of the Cottage. We availed of the first bright morning for a drive (which is said to be the most charming in England – along the south coast of the Isle as far as Black Gang Chine1156 we went, passing thro the most picturesque scenery, the contrast indeed made this wild sea scene look desolate, travellers have not left it for my feeble pen to describe, the cliffs were too high & perpendicular for either my Sister & brother Winstanley to attempt descending – Jemie had flown like a sea fowl as soon as we alighted at the Inn where the horses must feed & rest. his sketch book was the clue to my finding him – seated on the red sandy beach I could just discern him & it was with difficulty I followed Willie down - down - down until within speaking distance of my young artist I saw him attempting the sketch of the water fall & cavern up the side of the precipice – Warning Jemie how brief our stay must be, Willie & I wended our way slowly up again to join Uncle & Aunt W at the curiosity shop at the top of the Ciff.1157

A lady - whom myself & boys had observed in our walks around Shanklin being a most remarkable person - dressed in mourning, beautiful tho lame of such dignified yet gentle bearing - entered the shop followed by the two footmen in black livery who always are seen drawing her chair on wheels when within walking distance of her retreat – MƢ W whispered me “that is one of our nobility I’m sure.” And we afterwards ascertained, she is the lady D1158 – but she did not rivet our gaze, more than her own was fascinated by Jemies suddenly coming in, glowing with the exercise of mounting from the beach with his sketch book in hand & laughing at Aunt Elizas fears that “Jack last”1159 would have been left behind - the lady gracefully accosted my boy saying “I have seen you before - last year - were you not at Cheltenham?1160 “No ma’am” said Jemie returning her smiling courtesies - then at Scarboro!1161 surely it was there? Yes ma’am we were there in June last, for a week - I answered, upon which the lady expressed the hope we should meet again - but we did not remain at Madeira Cottage many days after, or she might have condescended to call & rest, to gratify the curiosity Jemie seemed to have excited – as she said at parting his was a countenance never to be forgotten – he probably reminded her of some dear lost one – and I am sure her sweet expression even en passant made my boys lift their hats the first time we met her being wheeled along the road as we took our afternoons stroll the first week we were on the Island. Our circuit enabled us to visit (the smallest church in England).1162

Notes